I think what helped me start the difficult dig out of the hole was the other day someone made mention of a particular scripture and I began talking about it. I was so stirred up it got me to thinking about it and many others on the topic. One thing I have tried to do is to begin to read the scriptures without my old religious thinking...it's very difficult I must say. We've been taught what to think for far too long!
As I thought about the Word I got all stirred up inside. Then I thought of Psalm 1119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction; that your Word quickens me. I realized no matter what I really am not looking for any help, or any answers outside of His word. No matter how far away He feels to me I still only want His answers for all the dreams I used to have, the wasted years, and the huge whys. The fact that I can still get so stirred up over a scripture lets me know that even though I feel very dead right now - He is alive in me somewhere in there....and that is comforting to me today. So be comforted - He is still Here!