Showing posts with label mercies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mercies. Show all posts

Beyond Words

 

those eyes
Sometimes, for caregivers, there are no words to express our emotions. We often deal with living grief over a loved one who is still alive, but they are not who they used to be. Personally, I deal with this with my son who is certainly not the person he was before the wreck, he can't do the things he did. Often I avoid Facebook as I see his friends getting married, having kids, enjoying life, and music. It can spark great grief for me as I am thrilled he is now turning his head from the left to right in response to activities. I'm happy when he takes a step when I used to watch him in the marching band. He is gone - but he's still alive.

On the other hand, my mom is in some stage of dementia. She usually still remembers us, but she doesn't recall our lives at all. She doesn't remember the ministry trips we took, the times we played music together, and all the things we shared. She has lost the ability to hold a simple conversation although she can answer some simple questions on her better days. 

There is a great sense of grief and loss always sitting just below the emotional surfaces of my heart. Some days I have to fight hard to not be sucked in. Other days, I can handle it pretty well. So, this morning when I turned to a familiar scripture, I was shocked at the parts I'd missed in my BC (Before Caregiving) days.

I was looking for the verse that says, His mercies are new every morning. That was my thought this morning as I was waking up and I whispered a gentle prayer that His mercies would carry me today. I turned to Lamentations 3 and let my eyes walk down the page to the verses I had marked years before caregiving. Interestingly enough, I found something brand new.

In verse 17, Jeremiah says, Peace has been stripped away and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I didn't recall that part of this passage although it is underlined. Perhaps I read it but lacked the understanding before. He goes on to say, I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. I was like, Yes! Someone understands!

Then, what Jeremiah penned hit home. He said, yet I still dare to hope when I remember the unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies, I have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness, His mercies begin afresh each day. 

Is it bad that I was glad someone understood enough to put my emotions into words? I hope not because I was elated that Jeremiah seemed to really understand. Even though I feel like I am sad and grieving beyond words on some days - I pulled out this part of the verse - dare to hope. 

Today, I will dare to hope that it will be better than yesterday. I will remind myself of the unfailing love and endless mercies of the Lord who carries me every day. My thoughts and meditations will be on his mercy, His love, His care of me. I will dare to hope that He will carry me through today. Will you join me?

Everyday Pressures

One of the things that others don't understand is the day to day pressures that we deal with. Even on the best good days we have there is so much to deal with. And really, when we are experiencing a good day any simple thing can wreck our emotions and we have to sweep them up for the rest of the day! Honestly, I'm not sure why that is except that we run so tight all the time. Our emotions can be stretched between pleasant and unpleasant emotions so tightly we are like the proverbial taut rubber band. So tight, in fact that any simple motion can set it off.

We all deal with the emotions of being a caregiver in different ways. Some of us may find a place and cry it out, others get angry and some just hold it all in. No matter how you deal with the huge responsibilities and load of being a primary caregiver we all know we must have Him to carry us through. When we can admit we really cannot do it on our own - He can step in and lift us up.

Lamentations 3:19-24 offers us great hope. Jeremiah starts out in verse 19 about his affliction and life's bitterness. This "Bible hero," a prophet of the Lord speaks of being bowed down within. Can we relate to that or what? Then Jeremiah shares how he encouraged himself in the Lord. He said that he reminds himself of how  the Lord's mercies never cease, and His compassions never fail. He recalled how these compassions, His mercies are new every morning. And that's how he remembered that he had hope!

So today let us remind ourselves of the mercies of God. Take a minute or two when things get heavy today to remember things that God has specifically done for you. Or think of a time when you know He had to carry you through! - renew your hope in Him today! It's a new day - here, it's still morning - so He has a brand new set of mercies and compassions ready to carry you through the day!

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...