Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from October, 2018

Safe and Secure with No Alarm... Leaning

Yesterday, I had scheduled the piano movers to move my aunt's piano into her assisted living apartment. She was so excited! She's been there for a couple of weeks now and has had access to a central piano, but missed having one close by that she could play whenever she wanted. As soon as the movers were gone, I asked her to try it out. She sat and played for some time. Tears welled up from pure joy at having her piano back. She's finally home. As I watched her frail, trembling hands run across the keys, I became absorbed in the moment. She's still playing after all these years. Her fingers may not be as nimble as they once were, but she can still tickle the ivory with style and pizzaz. She never lacks for a song to play - there's always one near the surface of her heart. It was a moment I didn't want to miss. There was just something special about it. It seemed like I was r\witnessing the reunion of two old friends. At 86 there's no doubt she's i

One Step at a Time

As the 10th anniversary of Chris' wreck nears, I have tons of thoughts. There are no easy days, but some days are less difficult than others. Here I am 10 years out celebrating Chris standing or sitting alone. I really thought I'd be celebrating his marriage or births of grandchildren. These thoughts can weigh heavily on my heart. Sometimes, I have to stay away from Facebook because it's overwhelming. I've been in one of those times  lately. What do we do when we are disappointed with life, ourselves, or our situations? Many of the things I dreamed of doing are not likely to ever happen. Everything got placed on hold nearly 10 years ago. How do you move on? The simplest answer is one step at a time. That's a daily thing. Sometimes, it's a moment by moment thing - just doing what needs to be done in the moment. This morning in my personal devotions, I found myself hanging out in Isaiah 50. I have quoted verse 4 for years -  The Lord has given me His words o

Hand Tattoos

Do you ever feel like God put you here on this planet to sort everything out and then He just walked away? Caregiver's lives are not in sync with the rest of the world and we can feel separated and alone even in a crowd. Caregiving adds a new dynamic to life, doesn't it? It's one that can't really be described. It's draining and rewarding. Tiring and energizing. Emotions run along all extremes much of the time and many battle with depression, grief and other issues. I have to say that recently I have asked God if He remembered where He left me. Now my heart knows He didn't really leave me. I mean, really - where would He go? He's everywhere - He can't physically leave us. But for those who struggle with abandonment issues, it can certainly feel like it. Evidently, someone else has had similar feelings because in verse 14 of Isaiah 49, it says Jerusalem says, "the Lord has deserted us, the Lord has forgotten us."   But at the thought of ab

Where'd you leave it?

If anyone understands the busy-ness of a caregiver's world, it's other caregivers. Using the word busy  is possibly an understatement. We certainly have our hands full, all four of them. lol. I remind myself of this as I try to return to being more regular with this blog. The move is behind us, my aunt is in an assisted living facility. So now I am a full-time caregiver for my son as well as a long-distance caregiver for my aunt. These are two very different dynamics. But we press on. I've struggled with feelings of inadequacies and learned that sometimes I really can't do it all. Evidently, I misplaced my cape. Smile so did you, Superman! The last few days I've been in prayer about the "call" God placed on my life. I have struggled so much with what I thought  that was going to look like. Finally, I just put in His hands and asked Him to tell me what to do. So, this morning when I opened my Bible to Isaiah 49 I found myself. Isaiah starts this c

When Morning Waits

We've probably all heard Psalm 30:5. Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.  This phrase, obviously taken from the Bible, along with other phrases and sayings meant to encourage, often seems to fall short. For caregivers, there's no guarantee morning is going to come. So, what if it waits? How do we endure the dark night of the soul described by Oswald Chambers? Besides scriptures, people have these sayings that really do not apply in many caregiving situations. You may have heard some things like: storms don't last forever seasons always change nothing lasts forever there's an end in sight it's always darkest before the dawn I simply cringe when I hear these. For caregivers, there's not always an end in sight. So, if we are waiting for morning to have joy - we may be caught in living grief  until we die. Morning doesn't always come. Storms don't always end. What will we do if morning waits? What are we to do wit