Showing posts with label feeling trapped. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feeling trapped. Show all posts

Who knew that was there?

Over the years I've come to enjoy the Psalms and find myself reading there a lot. I'm not sure why they are so intriguing to me, but I seem to enjoy them more and more. This morning I found myself in Psalm 77 which is one of my go-to passages, but this morning I saw something totally new.

I'm reading along and stopping at key scriptures I've learned to rely on, and I hit verse 16. It's like I've never read it before. Maybe I stop too many times at verse 11 which I run to frequently, but verses 16-20 just stood out to me this morning.

In verse 16, the Psalmist, who happens to be Asaph, describes how the Red Sea felt as Moses and the Children of Israel approached on their exodus from Egypt. The scripture says the Red Sea trembled and quaked to its very depths. I love nature and its response to God, and I know in Psalm 19 it speaks of how nature's voice is constantly declaring God's glory. But I never thought about how the Red Sea trembled once it was in God's line of sight. One look and the huge sea began to roll back and make way for His people.

If you read on down to verse 19, you'll find what really grabbed my heart this morning. It says Your road led through the sea, Your pathway through the mighty waters -- a pathway no one knew was there. Moses had just led the Children of Israel out of Egypt and the first thing that happens is they run smack dab into the Red Sea and Pharaoh's armies are closing in on them from behind. It was not a good place to be in - if you look at it from their point of view. But God had a different point of view.

He did not look at the Red Sea and think, "Oh no!" He looked at the Red Sea, man's road block, and saw a path no one knew was there. He just led His people on through like a flock of sheep.

As caregivers, we can run up on lots of road blocks and from our point of view many times we can feel boxed in. But God has a different point of view. He does not see us boxed in. Even if we are overwhelmed and retreat to the caregiver's cave and try to hide - He sees it differently. We may feel we are shivering and reeling from life's battering, but He sees the opportunity to tuck us in tightly to His heart and hold us close. He always has a path to the other side. It may be hidden under a sea, but it's there. All we have to do is follow His direction instead of our own.

Our lives can be so hectic - even on the calmer days. I used to get all bent out of shape when something didn't go as planned. (Okay so sometimes I still do....) But I'm finding that there are these hidden pathways that can lead to something brand new. That's what God does - He makes a way - no, He sees and makes a way where there doesn't appear to be one. His pathway is already there - we just have to discover it.

Today I will turn my thoughts to how God has hidden pathways I just don't see yet. I'll rest in Him and trust Him to lead me through life's obstacles even when I can't see. My meditations will be on His provision, His power and His pathways, and I will pursue them instead of my own. Will you join me?

I'm Not Super-Human?

Caregiving can consume us so much that others and ourselves forget we have other things going on in our lives. Since I started on this caregiving journey I've become a runner, a writer and a grandma! I have another adult child who can really feel like she lost her mom in the deal. And what's frustrating to me about it is that I can't do a thing to change it.

We have started having a mother/daughter weekend every year around her birthday; and we got to make a trip to Indianapolis recently to attend a good friend's wedding. She helps me out a lot and I watch the grandkids sometimes to help her out.

Today she's having a surgical procedure and I can't be there with her. It is certainly not because I don't want to be there for her, it's because there's no one to sit with my son during the week. Even the help I do have (paid or not) have other responsibilities and jobs. Of course, I don't even have an aide right now (one of our chief frustrations). And so today my heart is torn in two wanting to be there for her but being stuck in what can feel like a prison at times.

So what is a caregiver to do when they feel their heart is being torn in two? For me it's run right to the Psalms. This morning when I woke up I started out praying for my daughter and her family. Immediately my heart started singing a psalm we had put to music years ago. It goes like this:

Hear my cry O Lord
Attend unto my prayer
From the ends of the earth
Will I cry unto to You
And when my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to the rock 
That is higher than I - that is higher than I.

Today I need to be led to the rock that is higher, stronger and wiser than I am! The odd thing is that it's not the caregiving that weighs the heart in situations like this. It's the other life-things that make the journey so difficult. There have been many such situations over the years where I've felt trapped by caregiving. But we adjust, remind ourselves we are not super-human, we cannot be everywhere all at once; and move on.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He holds my heart in His hands. I will think about how He will strengthen me and keep me through this bump in the road. My thoughts will turn to resting in Him and letting Him fill me with peace; and I will wait on him one more time. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...