Daily Devotions for Caregivers

Sunday, when the family was gathered, my daughter sneaked over and got a "siblings" pic. I really think Chris is smirking at her. And he's looking at the camera like he knows what he's doing too! When I saw this photo on her Facebook wall, it brought both joy and sadness. It was a joy to have her take a siblings shot, but I know how difficult this has been for her. It's like I hurt for both my children. Double pain. I grieve over the loss of my son, and I hurt as I watch my daughter struggle to deal with it all as well. One of a mother's worst nightmares. I'm proud of the woman she has become and how she has let it bring her closer to God, but the journey, like each of ours, has been difficult. I guess caregiving really changes us, but we don't always realize how much or in what ways those changes are affecting us. They keep telling us that we are emerging a beautiful butterfly - but too often I still feel stifled in a cocoon with no flight in si

 As many around the world, my family gathered for Easter Sunday. One thing about my family is we have a rich heritage in the Word and in ministry. It was a true blessing to sing a few songs around the piano and especially to take communion together. I'm proud of my Christian heritage, but that hasn't stopped "bad" things from happening. My head and heart were still full from yesterday as I awoke this morning. My emotions were still all over the place as I opened my Bible (yes I am old school - I want to touch it!) for my devotions this morning. My eyes landed in Psalm 86. David starts out with a prayer for God to hear his cry because he is afflicted and needy . Now, I don't think David was whimpering. In my mind, he was just stating how much He needed God. He says, save Your servant, who trusts in You. And then goes on with I cry to you all day long. He lifts his soul to the Lord - that's his mind, will and emotions. The part of David that made him uniqu

One of the difficult things about becoming a caregiver is that life goes on. Please note, it's not  like most people mean that phrase. Life as we knew it, life as normal, life like everyone else does not go on. For many of us, life after caregiving is far different than before. But it seems like for everyone else - life goes on. There are two sides of this for me. On one hand it can be difficult watching all my son's friends go on with their lives as they should. they marry, have children, develop careers and have nice little lives. While my son struggles with learning to eat, move and talk again. The other side of that coin is far different though. It's the part of life goes on  that can be rewarding. My daughter married before my son's wreck, but she didn't start having children until a little later on. My daughter and I have talked about how we grieve that her kiddos will never know the Chris we knew. There's a real sadness there. Last night, my dau

I've issued a challenge on many occasions and asked anyone brave enough to come follow me through a day in  the life of a caregiver. You wanna know how many takers I've had so far? Zilch. Zero. Nada. On one hand, I find that a bit amazing since there are so many people ready to lend advice - but not a hand. Of course, on the other hand, I'm not surprised in the least. Each day brings different challenges depending on the level and type of care we are providing for our loved ones. For me, one day my son is pleasant, easy to work with, eats well and is alert. The next day (or moment for that matter) his body can be rigid, stiff and he can be uncomfortable and upset. He might even sleep all day. Situations with agencies change constantly too. Yesterday, a nurse shows up without calling and announces that she's Chris' new nurse. (I liked the other one of course.)One month I get supplies, aides show up and I get some help. Other times, nothing seems to go right. As

Do you get confused like I do when someone asks How are you? As you know by now, I'm an over-thinker and my mind can go a hundred different directions with what seems like a simple question. Do you want to know how I am as a caregiver? Not likely. Or perhaps you want to know how I am physically. Less likely - menopausal, but I did just run my 23rd half marathon, that can be intimidating.  Would you like to know how my work is going? Busy, as usual I can't keep up. What about emotionally? You really don't want to know that one - because I can be all over the place for no reason at all - pick an answer from ecstatic to depressed, I don't care. lol But we all know that no one really  wants an honest answer to the question, so we just say, Oh, I'm good.  Or maybe something about being fine and doing well. Because that's the  polite thing to do, and it's safer too because those who are not caregivers can't quite grasp where we are, but it's okay becau

As you know, I love the psalms, and I've been studying them looking at them from a somewhat different angle. As I read them, I'm thinking of how David was both a psalmist and a warrior. This has been an interesting study and I've learned a lot. I am making a bit of progress on the project. Hopefully, I'll have something together on it soon and can share it with everyone. Last night I was looking over my notes and my attention was drawn to Psalm 18. I've always liked this particular psalm, but what I noticed last night was the difference in David in the first few verses and some of the latter verses. He starts out with that psalmist heart by (in my mind) singing - I love you O Lord my strength!  And by verse 40 he's talking about smashing the enemy. Now, I realize throughout this psalm, and many others, David gives credit to the Lord for strengthening him for the battle.  David says that God taught his hands to war, and that by God's strength he could run

Crazy, crazy week. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say I've seen one of every basic medical worker except a surgeon this week. Yup - including firefighters, EMT personnel, ER physicians and techs, who by the way don't know how to transfer a handicapped person from a table to a chair, to home visit nurses and case managers. It's been one of those weeks - one caregivers are all too familiar with. Over the last couple of hectic days, I also made a choice. I decided I would not focus on all the things that were demanding my attention. This doesn't mean I abandoned my responsibilities in any way - I just didn't let them have me. Instead of wringing my hands, I chose to lift them. I stopped in the middle of the craziness and focused on Him. I also refocused in the natural too. How do you do that? I'm glad you asked. It can be easy to get off on some of the many things we can't do because of our caregiving situations. So, instead of thinking

There's just something about getting out in the fresh air and sunshine that revives you. Health-wise I know the sun causes our bodies to make vitamin D, which is essential and not found naturally in very many foods. Pure old sunshine also helps in the fight depression. As the spring weather has sprung, I'm trying to get myself and my son out the door a bit more to benefit from the natural elements. One of the things I liked about this apartment when I found it nearly 6 years ago was the nice park behind it. There is a very nicely maintained paved walkway and a Frisbee golf course. For the little ones, there's a water pad on the end away from where we live. From my door, to through the park and back is just over one mile, so it makes a nice little walk. Yesterday on our walk through the park, I saw the beauty of spring. There were several different types of butterflies, and colorful flowers scattered throughout the park. I'm not sure what it is exactly that seeing

There are so many different situations caregivers deal with. I think there are entirely different dynamics between taking care of a child and caring for a parent. There's also different emotional packages for those who care for adult children who have become injured or ill, and caring for a child who was born with a condition. Even though each of these are caregiving roles, there's no way to compare them as they are each unique even if there are some similarities. It's a whole different set of emotions dealing with my son's situation and   dealing emotionally with my mom's slow decline. I'm not specifically a caregiver for her, but she stays with me from time to time and I try to help out when I can. But I kinda got my hands full here. And that's a whole other set of emotions - feeling like I can't provide for my parents as much as I'd like to because I'm already a caregiver. These are thoughts that are going through my mind this morning as