Showing posts with label acceptance by God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acceptance by God. Show all posts

Just As I Am

Silly chris and me

 I'm sure the title reminded you of the classic hymn. It was a standard at Billy Graham's crusades around the world. Many church settings still use it as part of the altar call. We can come to God just as we are. I love that; maybe because I'm a bit rough on the edges. God doesn't make us clean up first. He doesn't have us fill out a questionnaire to determine if we qualify. There's no checklist we have to complete first. It's plain and simple. We can come to Him at this moment and He accepts us. 

I was looking at my son the other day and grieving over losses. His friends all moved on with life - and they should! No judgment from me! But it still makes me sad to think he has no one. Please understand - I get it. He can't hold a conversation. He may not even look you in the eye on some days. He can't hop in the car and go somewhere for a bite to eat. I get it. But I love him just as he is. Do I miss who he was - without a doubt.... every moment of every day. But I still love him.

It's this type of unfailing love that Father God has for us. Perhaps we can't communicate on His level - obviously. We don't function in the world He is in - we are bound to this world we live in. Right where He put us! Even though we don't look right, can't walk right, don't talk right, and spiritually cannot do anything for ourselves - His love is unfailing. 

Just like I love my son with an undying love - even though he can't carry his weight or give back - that's how God loves us. He doesn't look at our lack of ability to give. He looks at us as His child - and He loves, adores, and cherishes us even when we are the most undone.

Today, I will be thankful for His genuine acceptance and love. I will move my thoughts from the feelings of helplessness I am so familiar with over to how He continues to stand by my side to help me with my spiritual ADLs. But He loves me - and that will be my meditation today. Will you join me just as you are?

He Never Gives Up

As a caregiver, emotions can be all over the place. I find that one second I'm feeling okay about everything, I have a positive outlook and I am ready to take on the world. The next second for no apparent reason, I'm upset, mad at the world and ready to call it quits. On everything. One second I'm in love with God and so thankful that He continues to strengthen me to do what I need to do; the next second I'm angry with Him for letting this happen. This can all be in a matter of a few minutes, or seconds depending on the day.

But you know what? None of that scares God off. As to this date, He has never thrown up His hands, said I can't deal with this anymore and walked away. People have told me that "not everyone can handle a large dose of you." Seriously - I was told that, by my mentor. Add things like that to living a life so totally different from the rest of the world and it's easy to have an identity crisis.

One thing that caregivers have to deal with and face is the fact that not everyone can make the journey with us. And for me, my heart hurts for my son too. Why? Because friends can only be friends if nothing changes. On one hand - it's totally understandable - he can no longer "contribute" to the relationship, right? He can't laugh, play, tell jokes, make his deeply philosophical statements anymore. So there's nothing.

For the caregiver, our lives are different than everyone else's too. Maybe we can or can't freely do things the rest of the world does - and many walk away. Or my favorite - they watch our lives from a distance, totally disconnected.

On both counts there can be such a sense of abandonment and alone-ness that swallows us up whole. It's not an easy journey to make alone, or with someone else.

I say all this to share a scripture that came to mind this morning during my devotions. I actually was looking at Joshua 1:8 about being of good courage. I read it in my NASB, then looked it up in the Message. And here is what I found a few verses back:

I won't give up on you;
I won't leave you. (v.6)
Strength! Courage! 
Don't be timid; don't get discouraged.
God, your God is with you every step of the way. (v. 9)

While this whole passage spoke deeply to me this morning - that one phrase I won't give up on you is what really got my attention. No matter who observes from a distance, because they don't know what to do if they get closer; no matter who walks away from us or our situation - for whatever reason - God will not give up on us!  He is in it for the long haul; and that is exactly what I needed to hear this morning.

Today I'm going to meditate on His determination to be with me on this journey. I'll think about how He does not get too frustrated at me, never throws up His hands and never quits because I'm too much for Him to handle. My thoughts will be on how He is pleased with me, loves me and carries me even when I am being stubborn and resistant to His grace. He patiently waits for me to settle back down and come back to Him for peace. Today - I will be re-positioning myself in His lap; and settling in His embrace. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...