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Showing posts from December, 2017

Quick to Condemn

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Rest is not a word we hear much as caregivers. Well, let me rephrase that. If you are anything like me, you hear that you should rest  more. Of course, these statements are made by people who first of all haven't got a clue about how impossible that is. Secondly, they make no offer to help so it could be possible. I just let their words go like water off a duck's back. Poor souls really have no clue. (smile!) I will say though, that out of desperation, I've learned a few ways to sneak in a rest or two now and then. It took quite a bit of ingenuity and creativity, along with pure exhaustion to figure it out. But eventually, I got it. It's not that I didn't appreciate their concern - they just had no idea what they were talking about. Let's look at some differences here. First, there is a difference in being able to rest and knowing you need to rest. Many times, we know we need to, there's just no one to take up that slack so we can. Secondly, there'

In all Honesty

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This morning I was reading along in 1 Corinthians 2 studying a particular topic and got to verse 3. I'm not sure quite why it shocked me as I'm sure I've read it numerous times before. But this morning, I just stopped and stared. Right there in the Bible - in the New Testament - on this side of the cross, were Paul's words. He said  I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. I just looked at it for quite some time and read it over again and again. This is Paul, right? THE Paul who wrote a large portion of the New Testament. THE Apostle Paul who had a divine encounter with God. And he wrote it on this side of the cross. What kind of apostle is this who admits fear, trembling and weakness openly? The kind God can move through. I'm coming to understand how important it is to be totally honest with God. It's not like He doesn't already know anyway, right? He knows my weakness. He knows my fears. He knows my trembling and my crazy, all-over

Forever is a Long Time

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I've been lost in thought the last few weeks, and of course busy with the holidays. Now that Christmas is past, I've turned my thoughts toward a new year. This morning I woke up thinking about some of the rough times that occurred this year. I immediately thought - but the word of God stands forever. It doesn't change due to our circumstances. I looked up the scripture reference and found it in 1 Peter. But he was simply quoting the verse from Isaiah 40. Verse 8 says this: the grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever. Since I like to look at things in context, I backed up a bit and started reading the first verse of the chapter. It's about comfort and how He is bringing an end to our warfare. Quite honestly, I got nothing on that. Caregiving is still going on. It's still complicated. It's still hurtful. It's still discouraging. However, in verse 3 I found something I could meditate on. Verse 3 of Isaiah 40 says this: A

Just Because He Wants To

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This morning, I was reading in the first chapter of Ephesians. There are so many things God gave us, just because He wants to. This was just what I needed to hear this morning. As caregivers, many of us deal with a great sense of loss. We do not have a normal  life. We can feel separated and alone. Personally, I deal with the living grief  of losing my son - but still caring for his body. But as I was reading through these verses, I was reminded of the things I do  have in Him - things that are not removable. There's no way to lose the things we have through Christ. In verse three, it says we have every spiritual blessing  in Christ. Not some of them. Not a few of them... but every  spiritual blessing. That sounds so good, but what does it really mean? What are those blessings? They seem to unfold over the next few verses. In verse four, we were chosen in Him before the foundation of the world. Before He said, Let there be light  we were chosen. Why? Just because He wanted to

Peek-a-Boo

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One of my all-time favorite scriptures is in Genesis16. Hagar calls out to the Lord over her son. It doesn't matter if she was right or wrong to me. She was in distress over the treatment of her son. I personally think she got the short end of the stick. No matter what led her there, she found herself sitting by the spring in the wilderness. That's where the angel of the Lord "found her." No matter how difficult or complicated the situation was with Hagar, she wasn't hidden from the Lord's sight. After she and the angel of the Lord had a little discourse, she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, " You are a God who sees." sometimes it's enough to just know that He sees us where we are. Honestly, other times it is not. (Speaking personally.) With the truth that He sees wherever we are in mind, take a look at Psalm 109. That is where I was reading during my devotions this morning. Verse 31 captured my thoughts and meditations. It say

Who's Chasing Who?

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The last few weeks I have felt the Lord speaking to me about getting up-close-and-personal with Him. I love the internet, it's been my lifeline. But I really want to know Him more, uninterrupted by the flow of the many voices that come across social media outlets. They are wonderful, don't get me wrong. But I want to step back for a minute or two and hear just from Him. This morning during my quiet time I had a verse come up in my heart. I thought it said, my heart follows hard after thee.  Yeah, I was raised on the old King James Version and so sometimes they still come up that way. lol When I looked it up, it actually says, My soul follows hard after thee.  It's Psalm 63:8. I decided to look it up in a couple of other versions too. The NASB translated this verse as my soul clings to You.  But then the NLT says it like I follow close behind You.  And my favorite is the Amplified which says My whole being follows hard after You and clings closely to You. My pursuit

The Anyways Factor

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Don't you hate sayings like time heals all wounds? Or my new (sarcastic) favorite, nothing lasts forever.  Yeah right. This too shall pass  - maybe, maybe not. I'm learning a lot of these cliches just don't cut it and they don't offer the consolation or comfort they are intended to provide. I must admit, the life of a caregiver can be less than ideal . It's not perfect. No one sets the goal of being a caregiver when they grow up. It's not on the list of careers to choose from. We inherit it. And we carry it well. And while I would not have chosen this life, I'm here now and I must say there are some distinct rewards that come from caring for a loved one. There are also some things about myself, and others, that I might not have discovered without caregiving. So I can honestly say I have no regrets. I will not say the transition was easy. Nor will I make like there isn't pain involved. I admit there is daily grief. But I will say that I think I have

Right Smack Dab in the Middle

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Last Saturday I ran a 10K. I hadn't done that distance in a while, so I was excited to get out there and do it. I also hadn't had any kind of a break since Chris was in the hospital last month. I knew the course was going to be my friend. When you're  out in the open like that, there's a lot of soul-searching and praying that can go on. That was actually my goal for this race, to pour out my heart and  leave it all on the course  so to speak. And that's what I did. As soon as the race started I began emptying my heart before Him. After a little while, I told Siri to start some Natalie Grant. My prayers turned to praise and then to worship. The phrase in one song stood out above the rest as she sang You're restoring me piece by piece.  The realization hit me that over the last few months, He's been doing that. My thoughts shifted to some of the things God has been doing for and in me personally this year. I realized the restoration process wasn't dead