Daily Devotions for Caregivers

This morning, after reading several passages about peace to prepare for my live devotions, I landed in a familiar place. There I sat, sipping my coffee and reading Philippians 4:13 over and over again. Most of us memorized it as a kid. It's one of those that we pull out when our lives get out of hand, right? I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  That, along with Romans 8:28, are believers' go-to scriptures for all things we don't understand.  I backed up and read the few verses before verse 13 to remind myself that Paul was talking about his life. He was explaining that he'd seen times of plenty and times of lack; he'd had great needs and abundance. I thought about how that might relate to caregiving. We have times when we are flying high, and things seem to be going well. Then we have times that we can feel like we are at the bottom of life, trying to resurface for a breath. The funny thing for caregivers is that these emotional highs and lows ...

  This morning, I skipped through a bunch of the Old Testament Minor Prophets. A lot of people avoid reading them. Usually, it's because they are difficult to understand. Some of them were speaking of their current events, and to a people we don't really understand. Others consider the OT harsh and have a hard time grasping some of it. Of course, prophetic utterances like we see in the OT can be quite puzzling too. But I love them!  Throughout Isaiah and Jeremiah, there are some pretty harsh sayings. Jeremiah cries out for God's people to repent and warns them of impending judgments. Isaiah prophesies in riddles, but we can see he talks about the coming Messiah, etc. Ezekial hardly makes any sense at all for most of us. Then there are the minor prophets Nahum, Micah, etc. They are short, sweet, and somewhat confusing. But there are some real treasures in there for those who have the gumption to dig! So why do I love reading them? I think it's because throughout all of t...

I hope you are surrounded by people who tell you how wonderful you are. I pray that you have family and friends who lift your hands for you when you are tired. I hope you have someone close to you who can tell you how beautiful you are and how much you look like Him. Hopefully, you have someone to encourage you when you need it. Someone who will tell you that you are doing a great job when you doubt yourself. That's what I hope. But the reality is that many caregivers find themselves in a caregiver's cave . They feel alone on the journey. Friends and family distance themselves (or so it seems) because they don't know what to do to help, or they simply don't want to, sadly.  Job's friends got off course, eventually. But when they first came to Job after hearing about his situation, they sat and said nothing for 7 days. How affirming that must have been for them to just be there. Some may have plenty of people who encourage, uplift, and affirm them. But for those who ...

 Do you ever just read along in your Bible and have a phrase just jump off the page at you? That happened to me this morning. I was reading in Ephesians 6 about the armor of God. Paul said to put it on. In verse 13, Paul tells the believers to Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil so that after the battle,  you will still be standing firm. (NLT) I've probably read this passage 100 times or more. I've taught from it, studied it, and meditated on it. But those three words leaped off the page as I read through it once again.  After. I sometimes wish this verse read that if we put on all of God's armor, we can avoid  the battle. lol. You know that passage where Jesus tells Peter that the enemy desired to sift him like wheat ? (Luke 22). What did Jesus go on to tell Peter? But I have prayed for you. Jesus goes on to say He prayed for Peter that his faith wouldn't fail  - and that after  he repents and is restored, he would go on ...

  I've shared my own personal struggles with rejection and abandonment. As I've aged and started closing in on those senior years, it's become much less of an issue. Most of it has been due to God's faithfulness to heal and protect the soul. Some of the progress is due to having a fuller picture of life from this side of the "hill." But as a caregiver, it can be easy to feel like life itself has abandoned you and left you on the backside of the desert. Of course, not every moment feels that way, but there are those days... This morning, during my personal devotions, I found myself in Psalm 94. I gleaned a lot from this Psalm this morning and shared a different verse in my FaceBook Live devotions. (See the video at the bottom.)But personally, I got stuck in a good way in verse 14. The New Living Translation says, The Lord will not reject His people; He will not abandon His own special possession. There are three key points in this little verse tucked away in Ps...

  This morning, I was just outside my apartment and noticed that the grass is brown and crunchy. This is not uncommon during hot, dry summers like the one we are having here in Oklahoma. I found myself wanting to encourage the grass because I've seen the forecast and rain - lots of it is due later this week. I was like - just hang on, you'll be green again soon. Even though the grass is terribly brown - like the middle of the winter brown, it will brighten up and be green with just a little bit of rain. It won't be long until it's vibrant again. I thought about how wonderful that will be. Then, since I'm the question queen, I started wondering about how in the world it can appear so dry and dead and then revive again. It hit me that it's the roots. I cannot see the roots because seeing through things isn't one of my superpowers. Lol. But basic science has taught me that an intricate root system mirrors most of what we see on top of the soil. It's working...

Have you noticed all the shortages lately? There have been short supplies on some of the most interesting items, I think. I understand our supply chain has been disrupted, but when has there been a run on low-sodium potato chips? Lol. It's just been some of the oddest things. I keep a club membership at Sam's for mostly one reason. They carry a decent brand of adult wipes for a decent price. My son's dad keeps us supplied with wipes, and that's a true blessing! This week, I opened one of the new boxes he brought last weekend. There was a note card inside on top. It said there was a noticeable difference in the way the packs would open. They no longer pop open. The note said that it was due to the shortage of some little parts, and instead of not producing the wipes, they wanted us to have the product. However, the note stated that we'd notice a difference in the way the tops open to access the wipes. Sure enough - there's no pop-top. I thought, what an odd short...

  I'm so thankful for each new day. Scripture promises us that His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:23) God doesn't have mornings since He dwells in constant light - because He is the light! So, that leads me to believe that He's created new mercies for each of our new mornings. That makes sense. Have you ever had a situation you were not sure how to handle? You went to sleep and voila! When you woke up, you knew exactly how to handle it. How that happens while we sleep - I will never know. But it happens a lot. There's something about having a new day to take on old problems. It's refreshing and often revealing. But this morning, as I was reading, I realized Jesus made us a promise for our new days. I didn't necessarily like it, though. In Matthew 6, during the sermon on the mount - He's talking about not worrying about stuff. God is our Father, and He knows. He knows that we need all the basic stuff like food and clothes. Jesus promises us th...

 Never underestimate the small stuff. As caregivers, sometimes it's the smallest gestures that mean the most. A couple of years ago, I had gone up to see my mom for Mother's Day. On the way home, I stopped at a local lake just to see if it was accessible. I was pushing my son out to see the water, and a young man passed. He suddenly stopped, turned around, and said, "Happy Mother's Day." I felt his genuine compassion, and with tears sneaking up in my eyes, I quietly said, "thank you." No one else had thought to tell me HMD. And, of course, my son can't. Even though it was from a total stranger - it meant so much. The smallest things often weigh the most. I thought about some of these things as I was reading in Micah this morning. In chapter 5, he's talking about the small city of Bethlehem. He says  you are only a small village in Judah.   But then, the prophet goes on to prophesy about the birth of Christ, and he says, Yet a ruler of Israel will...

 As a caregiver, it's never a pleasant experience when people distance themselves. But I'm sorry to say, it happens a lot. At least it has for me. I've had a few people over the years who ran like the house was on fire once they found out I chose to care for my son at home rather than putting him in a facility. There's nothing wrong with a facility when it's needed. But I felt like my son would be at an advantage in a home environment. I can think of two people who literally walked away when they found out this was what they felt was a "choice."  Then yesterday, I was FaceTiming with a distant cousin. It was time to tube feed Chris. My cousin asked me to set the phone where he couldn't see that. That doesn't really bother me - because some people are squeamish. I was at first, too, but I soon got over it! lol. While it didn't bother me, it made me think about some stuff. Like how people look away because they don't want to see the painful p...

  Don't you love those times when God feels so close? There is no doubt that He's right here - right now and He's walking through the day or midnight with you. I do. But then there are those times that even though I know  He's here - I can't seem to find Him or hear Him. Those are not fun times, for sure. This morning I read in Jeremiah 23:23-24 where God said through the prophet: An I a God near at hand and not a God afar off? Can anyone hide in secret places, so I cannot see him? do I not fill heaven and earth? There were several things in these two verses that spoke to my heart personally this morning. I love that God asks in an explanative way  - how can I be close and not be far? Because I don't know where you are, but I'm happy to say that God is right here in Oklahoma with me and my son! :-) He is also there with you wherever you and your loved ones are. So, He's near to me here - yet far away from me with you. AND  He's near to you there - bu...

  You ever just have one of "those days"? I'm in one now - but it started yesterday when I was verbally attacked by a client. It sent me off on this emotional train wreck as it felt like everything was caving in around me. It wasn't, but it sure felt like it until I got a grip on His grace again! It's taken me a long time to get all that out of my head and to remind myself that I am valuable to Him - and nothing else - no one else's opinion really matters. This morning, I spent time praying about it all and writing it out in my journal. That is a tool I highly recommend as it is a safe place - with no one else's opinions and no one else's thoughts. I like it because I can put it all there - walk away and never look back. It really is a great way to plan my personal changes. It's also a great place to leave all the emotions there and walk away. As I finished writing out my thoughts and prayers, I found myself in Psalm 13. It says How long, O Lord wi...

 This week it seems like it's been just one thing after another. From asthma attacks to clogged feeding tubes. As if it's not enough to just handle the "normal" day-to-day tasks of caregiving, it seems like sometimes these extras just need to pop up. Lol. It really is about the whole journey, isn't it? We're taking care of another whole person, after all! But I've started noticing something about the journey - I think it's just an itsy bitsy bit easier to find His peace in the middle of it all. I've accepted that I'm an overthinker - it's just how I process stuff. But even in that process, I'm finding His peace a little quicker these days. Too bad He didn't equip us with a "peace" button we could push when we need it. I need a "grace" button too. lol.  Sometimes, the journey to finding His peace is long and hard. But I have to say it's worth it. However, that doesn't mean that I have it all together yet. ...

  Even though the number of caregivers around the world is climbing, many people just don't get us. Baby Boomers are starting to care for their aging parents, which is why the numbers are rising. There are also a lot of people like me sandwiched between caring for aging loved ones and kids with disabilities. But there are still so many people who don't understand. Maybe they just can't understand what we face day after day. Or maybe they don't want to. Until someone has been in a caregiving position, they may not ever understand how emotionally, spiritually, and physically draining it can be. Of course, it's not like that every day all the time. But over time, it can be draining, to say the least. Each day we reinvent ourselves to do it again! why? Because of love. Sometimes, others' inability to empathize with our caregiving lifestyle feels isolating. It can drive us deeper into the aloneness that eats away. It's easy to feel like no one understands, no one...

 There is a phrase I use in these devotions quite frequently. I say something about when life gets ugly. My point is that it doesn't match the picture of normal, or what is expected by the norm. Yesterday, I almost typed it out when I stopped. I understand the concept - life as a caregiver isn't always what everyone else thinks is beautiful. But who cares? Just as I was about to type life gets ugly  I realized it's not ugly at all. Is it difficult? Yes! Is it abnormal to most? Yes! Does navigating the day-to-day get complicated? Absolutely! Do I get tired? Yup! But for just a moment God let me see the beauty in caregiving. Isn't it really about one person laying down their life for another? A life of self-sacrifice that many cannot and will not ever understand? Isn't that what Jesus did for us? That's beautiful. The way my son looks me in the eyes speaks volumes although no words are used - that's beautiful.  The way my aunt relied on me to care for her - sh...

 Early on my caregiving journey, I found myself in a predicament. I obtained a few credit cards and found that I just kept filling them up. If I saw something on Amazon or other sites that I wanted I purchased it, whether or not I could really afford it. This went on for some time until I found myself swamped with credit card debt - some of which I am still crawling out from under. But one day - it hit me as to why I was doing it. Knowing the why - caused me to stop immediately. One day, sitting at the computer, I saw something I liked. Immediately I started the process of making the purchase, but this time I stopped. I asked myself why am I doing this? It was like God answered my question as I realized I was trying to compensate for the sense of loss that had taken over my life and emotions.  As caregivers, we can suffer a lot of losses, some of which we don't even recognize at first. There are so many changes that emotionally feel like losses such as losing our career or job...

 I have several pots with succulents, flowers, and edibles all out on my patio. Then I have a row of flowers I planted in the ground outside the brick patio half-wall. I tell myself that was the best $12 I ever spent. Each time I go out, I see their brilliant colors and they make me smile from the inside out. I never dreamed a little row of simple flowers would brighten my day so much!  This morning, I went out to tend my plants before the heat ramped up. I do this every morning. I water my plants and talk to them. Lol. I tell the flowers how pretty they look and my other plants how well they are growing and what a great job they are doing reaching for the sun. It resembles the things I like to hear - those things that encourage me to continue growing and reaching for Him. Maybe that's what life is about, reaching for the Son. Maybe we could all use a little encouragement today to keep reaching for Him. In yesterday's devotion , I talked about how He is our one Rock. He is als...

 I mentioned you today in my FaceBook Live devotional, "Peace Out!" I was reading one of my all-time favorite scriptures, Psalm 61. As I read over the words, when my heart is overwhelmed, I thought of how many times we live in a state of overwhelm. Sometimes it's emotional as we watch our elderly loved ones slowly fade. Or perhaps some are caring for younger loved ones and all those "what could have beens" tear at our souls. There are times when mental overwhelm is just unreal. There can be so much planning and thinking and strategizing when caring for another whole person. I've just figured out how to manage boluses so that I save huge chunks of time out of my day. It only took me 14 years. lol. Planning work, caregiving, and even breaks can be mentally and emotionally exhausting at times. Maybe there are times when we are just physically overwhelmed too. Since I've had a bit of a heart issue, I get tired so much easier. Some days I feel like I'm dr...

It's not unusual for caregivers to feel overwhelmed. There is a lot on our plates, and each day seems to bring more. Decisions, tasks, and plans, just seem to wear on and on. They are just part of our journey so we tend to adjust and proceed. But every once in a while, at least for me, it seems I get sucked into the I'm all alone syndrome. The odd thing is that the feelings of being alone can be strongest when others are all around. When I go for a hike, an evening walk, or anywhere else occasionally, I seem to be the only person there all alone. Everyone else at least appears to be enjoying the company of friends, companions, or others. It tends to gnaw at one's soul. I hope you don't understand. Last night, after the zoom Bible study I host, which was very enjoyable, I just got sucked into the I'm all alone vacuum. There was no warning. No sign of anything. I just felt so all alone.  What are we supposed to do with these feelings?  Of course, we take them to God. ...

  A caregiver's day is filled with decisions. The most difficult part is making them for someone else. Some caregivers take care of loved ones who can speak and make choices. My son cannot speak. If he does make a choice, it's often hard to communicate it effectively. I'm always second-guessing what he meant and worry that I missed his slight cues.  Our decisions are like everyone else's in that they affect more people than we imagine sometimes. Some people haven't always understood my choice to take care of my son at home. They think I should just put him in a facility. While I know I have a choice - I just can't take that route. They won't push him like he needs to be pushed to improve among other things. But the decision to care for our loved ones usually affects other aspects of our lives as well. Actually, it affects every aspect of our lives. Even though some people don't understand making the decision to care for a loved one (long-distance or in-h...

 When I was so sick back in 1986-7, I found a scripture in Psalm 119. Verse 50, David says, This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life. (NKJV) The old King James says, for your word has quickened  me. As I struggled physically, with no strength, nothing making much sense and doctors who couldn't find answers (or didn't even want to try), I thought I was going to die.  On top of all of that, my MIL at the time began to berate me with comments about how God was punishing me for this or that. She listed out all the things she  thought I was doing wrong. Honestly, I had no strength to defend myself. I would repeatedly tell her, I trust God.  My mom planned my funeral. As a nurse, she thought I was in the dying process. God miraculously healed me - I have no doubt. Slowly, I regained strength and over the next few months, I just got better and stronger. My appetite returned and I began to gain back all the weight I'd lost. But during the sto...

  Caregiving can be a rewarding experience for those who choose to dedicate their time and effort to ensure their loved ones continue to enjoy a good standard of living. But in time, the stress and pressure of caregiving can also lead to burnout . Additionally, other responsibilities such as a job, relationships, and your own health can find themselves on the backburner. For caregivers struggling to find a balance between their personal and caregiving needs.   Manage Your Stressors   If stress has become a mainstay in your life, you may have lost track of actual stressors that make you feel this way. While you may be quick to conclude that the pressure of caregiving is the sole cause, there may be other factors exacerbating the situation, such as problems at work, lack of personal goals, financial difficulties, etc.   Once you realize the various factors which lead you to feel stressed, make a plan of how to address them. This can include:   ●  ...