Showing posts with label activities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label activities. Show all posts

At Day's End

Caregiver's tasks are endless and almost every evening I have this sinking feeling like I didn't get enough done. It doesn't matter how much I did get done in a day, I feel like I fell far short of all I needed  to get done. Does anyone else ever feel that way?

We already have enough on our plate just in taking care of another whole person or two. I say this as I not only take care of my son who is total assist, but am shifting into a caregiving role with my parents as well. My son can do absolutely nothing on his own but breathe. I not only have to puree all of his food or blend up shakes to put in his tube, but I also have to take the time to feed him. Each day I bathe him, dress him, get him up, stretch him, stand him, entertain him, etc. It starts early in the morning and goes until late at night. Even when he's in the bed early mornings or late evening he has to be bolused, changed, turned, and kept comfortable. It's my pleasure.

Add to the daily chores of caregiving all the other things that must be done and every single one of us have a full load.  I can't speak for anyone else but I know we all have laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and all sorts of cleaning to do daily. Many caregivers have other children to provide care for or hold down a job. In my situation I work from home as a freelance writer; this can tie up quite a bit of time, especially if I start running behind. I have deadlines I have to meet and I can get pretty stressed out at times. I am learning strategies for keeping up and that it helping some.

Let's just take yesterday for example. I did all my caretaking responsibilities for Chris keeping him, fed, moving and comfortable, providing stimulation and ROM activities plus I completed 3 projects for clients and then went to taekwondo to complete my requirements for belt testing. But when I got home and got my son in bed, all I could think about was how much I had left to do. Even though I did quite a bit for a day- I felt so inadequate at the day's end. This is my typical late night activity. I look back over the day and think about what I did. Most of the time I feel disappointed and like I need to do so much more. It's a vicious cycle.

I turned to the wisdom of King Solomon for some direction and help. In Ecclesiastes 2:20 the wise king says So I turned in despair from hard work. It was not the answer to my search for satisfaction in this life. Interesting, huh? He tried working hard and then he tried hardly working and came to this conclusion he shares in verse 24: So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from Him? God gives wisdom, knowledge and joy to those who please Him.

Caregivers do not have life easy no matter what their situation is. It can feel like life has dealt us an unfair blow and we just can't live life like everyone else. But we can be satisfied in our work, and we can be satisfied in our God! I really believe that God is pleased with our caregiving efforts and that we bring Him pleasure because we look like Him. 

Today I am going to smile and give myself a break. Even though I may feel like I always fall short - my efforts are pleasing to Him. I will embrace the truth that He is pleased with my actions as a caregiver and I will relax in Him today. My thoughts will be on how much He does for me - and how He takes care of me (that's a full time job too) and I will allow myself to be content with whatever I can reasonably get done in a day. I will let it all go and let Him be my joy for today. Will you join me?

Oblivious to God

Everyone seems to be living very hectic lives these days - not just caregivers. It's interesting that with all our modern conveniences we actually have less time to spend with people. We have machines that wash and dry our clothes, wash the dishes and phones so we do not have to travel about to get things done. We even have the internet to pay bills and conduct business. There are microwaves to cook our meals quickly and crockpots to cook them all day! Yet we have less time it seems to be still before the Lord.

A friend sent me a scripture the other day from the message Bible and I felt it was very appropriate for the caregiver. We have so many responsibilities to do every day that we can easily become overloaded.

From Romans 13 (the Message)  - But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. 

It is so easy to get busy with our day to day activities that we forget Him. And yet He is the One who sustains us. My encouragement today is to find just a moment...a quiet moment (and I know that they can be difficult to find), and just be still before Him. And it's a good idea from where we are to find something to thank Him for! We enter His gates with thanksgiving. So just take a moment today to acknowledge Him as your God one more time! (It'll feel great!)

Chasing What Matters

Life BC (before caregiving) was probably full of all sorts of activities that just are not possible anymore. For some of us, church was a regular Sunday activity. But attending isn't always feasible for the caregiver. Possibly, it's because our loved one isn't mobile, or it's too early to get up and out. For many it just isn't a practical or even possible. And the church doesn't really know what to do with us since we don't fit the mold. That can leave the caregiver feeling abandoned and really out of place with the religious world.

The inability to "go" to church really stumps the religious folks. How many times have we been "pressured" to  go somewhere. These are well meaning people who really do not understand or comprehend the enormity or the impossibility of the task. But where does that leave the caregiver?

James 1:27 says this:Pure and undefiled religion in the in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. How are we supposed to do that? And what happened to the ranking of attending church? ...it's not mentioned as part of pure religion. (not saying it shouldn't be done.. just that it doesn't rank)

While it may not be possible to get out and visit others, we can contact other shut-ins by phone and we can send cards via postal to people we know are hurting. But the big one is really keeping ourselves unstained by the world. It's so easy to have so many yucky things displayed with cable and Internet being streamed into our homes. Add that to the loneliness that can accompany caregiving and it can be a bad combination! It will take some serious effort to keep ourselves pure. But we can do it!

Our spirit is the part of us that will live on forever...building and encouraging that part of us is the part that will last throughout eternity. The spiritual side of us (and our loved one) should get the most care of all. Nothing that we see - absolutely nothing - will be in eternity with us...we must decide to chase the things that matter and not worry so much about the rest.

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...