Showing posts with label psalm 61. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psalm 61. Show all posts

#Overwhelm

 

chris looking intently at his sister

Do you ever wake up in the morning feeling like you have an extra 9 million things to do on top of the regular 9 million things you do every day anyway? As if caregiving wasn't enough for a day, right? It's easy to feel like we are pulling in so many directions. And, of course, there'll be someone standing off in the distance reminding us to take time for yourself - the caregiver needs care too.  Smh. We sure do - but when? Am I right?

It can be so easy to feel overwhelmed. It's an overwhelm that doesn't go away while you're sleeping at night. It just sits there waiting until you get up, then boom. I think it never really goes away on most days. However, there are a few brief reprieves here and there. 

Does it ever feel like there are many things vying for your attention? The internet. My clients. My phone. Another text. eMails. Sometimes, even the things we use to cope and get through our days play into our emotional overwhelm. 

But there's this one scripture that is on my mind this morning. Psalm 61:2 - when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. David had his moments of overwhelm too. That just makes sense since he was a king running an entire kingdom! In Hebrew, overwhelm is a word that could be translated as shrouded, clothed, faint, hidden, or overwhelmed. Boy, that about says it all doesn't it?

How easily our hearts can become shrouded by our responsibilities and concerns as caregivers. But get this - the next word is lead. Guess what that means in the original Hebrew? It's also a primitive root and it means to guide, transport, bring or lead. When I am too overwhelmed to crawl - God can carry me and my overwhelmed heart to the Rock. He will not leave me stranded wrangling with my emotions or concerns. He will pick me up - with all my woes and transport me into His heart where He protects me, strengthens me, provides for me, and gives me His peace. Wow.

Today, I will wait for Him to pick up this mess I have become and carry me right to His heart. Then, I will hand Him each thing that is on my plate one by one. I'll let Him take me and my overwhelm into His heart will I will listen for its steady beat. If you look for me today - that's where you'll find me. Will you join me?

I'm Not Super-Human?

Caregiving can consume us so much that others and ourselves forget we have other things going on in our lives. Since I started on this caregiving journey I've become a runner, a writer and a grandma! I have another adult child who can really feel like she lost her mom in the deal. And what's frustrating to me about it is that I can't do a thing to change it.

We have started having a mother/daughter weekend every year around her birthday; and we got to make a trip to Indianapolis recently to attend a good friend's wedding. She helps me out a lot and I watch the grandkids sometimes to help her out.

Today she's having a surgical procedure and I can't be there with her. It is certainly not because I don't want to be there for her, it's because there's no one to sit with my son during the week. Even the help I do have (paid or not) have other responsibilities and jobs. Of course, I don't even have an aide right now (one of our chief frustrations). And so today my heart is torn in two wanting to be there for her but being stuck in what can feel like a prison at times.

So what is a caregiver to do when they feel their heart is being torn in two? For me it's run right to the Psalms. This morning when I woke up I started out praying for my daughter and her family. Immediately my heart started singing a psalm we had put to music years ago. It goes like this:

Hear my cry O Lord
Attend unto my prayer
From the ends of the earth
Will I cry unto to You
And when my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to the rock 
That is higher than I - that is higher than I.

Today I need to be led to the rock that is higher, stronger and wiser than I am! The odd thing is that it's not the caregiving that weighs the heart in situations like this. It's the other life-things that make the journey so difficult. There have been many such situations over the years where I've felt trapped by caregiving. But we adjust, remind ourselves we are not super-human, we cannot be everywhere all at once; and move on.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He holds my heart in His hands. I will think about how He will strengthen me and keep me through this bump in the road. My thoughts will turn to resting in Him and letting Him fill me with peace; and I will wait on him one more time. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...