Daily Devotions for Caregivers

I'm late getting today's devotion up because I'm doing double duty this week. My mom is here with me and my son since she can no longer stay by herself. The best thing my siblings and I could come up with was for her to stay here with me until my daddy returns from a funeral out of state. At first I was a little stressed. As caregivers you know how full our days are and how much it takes to take care of one other whole person - but two? My mom is showing early signs of dementia and at least can take care of herself. So this morning I was a little more  overwhelmed than usual and it took me a little while longer to get myself together. It was time to get Chris up but he was sound asleep so I let him sleep, picked up my guitar and started playing along with my mom. We did tons of older hymns and choruses from days gone by. In the midst of the struggle I started thanking God for my heritage and history in Him. What came to mind was Psalm 77. The psalmist starts out cal

I've run quite a few races somewhere around 122 now over the 6 years since I started running. I've crossed every single finish line of every race I started. I've crossed some feeling like I could take on the world, and crossed some in so much pain I though I've never run again. Some races are good and some are endured. This photo is the first race I ever took my son to. I am working on being able to take him to more - just working out some chair issues. I started running just after I became a caregiver as it was a way to work out frustrations and stress. No matter how I have crossed each finish line the point for me is that I've showed up - and kept going. I'm not fast but I don't have to be. I just have to be in the moment. Here's why I was thinking about running this morning. My thoughts first started in Psalm 61 as it's my go-to psalm when I feel totally overwhelmed like I do today. My emotions are all over the place and my thoughts seem so

One of the things I've dealt with all my life is rejection. Finding myself in a caregiving position made those feelings go a little deeper as I actually felt rejected by life.  I didn't feel like I was part of the "big picture" and the rest of the world was passing me by as I sat in my comfy caregiver's cave. My first reaction to feelings of insignificance always takes my thoughts to Psalm 139. I like how it describes God seeing us being formed in the womb and how He is knows us literally inside and out. But then the psalm goes on to say that He wrote all the days ordained for us  in His book before we ever lived one. On one hand I fall to my knees and exclaim how special that is - that the creator has literally walked all my days before me. That's really cool if you think about it for a bit. But then on the other hand, I'm like, Really? This  is what you wrote for me? This is it?  There can be so many whys for the caregiver and scriptures that use

Have you ever had those days where you feel like life is dragging you into the deep dark mire of depression? You can feel its grip tightening with every breath and it's reflecting in every sluggish move. I have to admit I feel that way today. I can't blame it on any one thing - but a series of events have had this effect on me and honestly I don't always know how to get out or break its grip. As I opened my Bible this morning, mostly out of habit to be truthful, my eyes fell on a couple of verses out of Psalm 32. Verses 7 says this: You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.  This is what I call a "two-way" psalm because between verse 7 and 8 it changes from second person to first person - like God is answering the psalmist. These are cool to me because it's like God interrupts the psalmist mid stream to get His thoughts in. Because verse 8 just pops out of nowhere with: I will instruct you and teach

This morning during my devotions I came across this one little phrase in Psalm 142:8. It sort of just jumped out at me really and it says: Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; for I trust in You. My eyes were just drawn to it and I began meditating on it, and it became my prayer. You see this morning, like most mornings, I woke up with my huge "to do" list running full speed in my head. As usual I got up, made coffee, changed and bolused Chris, then sat down at the computer trying to figure out where I was going to start on the long list of work I have to do for clients. Then I thought about just skipping devotions since I have so much to do today. Chris has therapy, I started a new class and I have tons of work to get done. I'm tired already, *sigh*. But I decided to take the time to put first things first and this scripture all but jumped off the page at me. I really do need to hear His lovingkindness.  But how do you hear  lovingkindness, especially wh

My son is non-verbal which can make it difficult sometimes to figure out what he is wanting or why he is uncomfortable. I usually say I'm pretty good at playing "guess and check" where I guess what to fix and then see if that's what makes him happy. It seems like I'm right most of the time but of course I never really know. Sometimes I wish he could just tell me he needs some Tylenol; or that he's ready to go lie down. But he can't. I've had to figure out his silent signals and interpret what he needs or desires. On one hand, it seems like we've been working on that for some time - but actually it sort of came naturally. Probably because we are connected at the heart. I think when it comes to communicating with God as our caregiver it can be similar, not that we can't tell Him what we need, but that sometimes we  don't really know  what we need. He can interpret our silent pleas for help. Along the journey there have been times I'

Last week while I was writing one of the devotions I made some sort of statement about how God is our ultimate caregiver. So this week I will be taking a closer look at how He caregives for us.... We've talked many times about how we look like Him  when we care for our loved ones. We exhibit several qualities when we demonstrate our love for our loved ones by taking care of their needs. We are up-close-and-personal with our loved one and totally engaged in making sure their needs are met - usually long before we ever even acknowledge any of our own needs...that's just the way it is. One of the characteristics of a caregiver is as provider. I do everything in my power to provide whatever my son needs. As a caregiver - their needs are of the utmost importance. Sometimes that means just covering the basic stuff like food, shelter and love. But we also do whatever else is necessary like range of motion, creating social outlets, shopping, just about anything needed that is in

Last night I was reading up on a new blog and it was talking about the power of being silent. The writer was discussing pain and adversity and how sometimes there is simply nothing to say and it's okay. This got me to thinking about Job's friends and how when they heard of his distress they came and just sat with him. They didn't say a thing, which we learn later was a good thing! But they just sat and mourned with him in his time of loss. When my son was first in the hospital I had a friend who did just that. She flew in and came and just sat. I was staying in his room with him as he was in isolation there was room for a couple of chairs. She just sat with me for 4 days. There really wasn't anything to say to make it better....but she was there. What caregivers find out way too soon is how fast people can just disappear from their lives. When they don't know what to say, or don't know how to make it better , they silently walk away. But it's quite a

One of the things I do that drives other people simply mad is needing a scripture for almost everything. But as we know from life in general, as well as caregiving, there's not always a scripture to match a particular situation. When I am afraid, I can run to Psalms and find passages to help calm my fears. If I come up on financial struggles, I can find scriptures pertaining to God as our provider. Even when I am sick, I can run to our standard group of healing scriptures. And if I don't find immediate relief in any of these circumstances, finding a scripture or passage that is related helps give me something to stand on. Even when the tasks associated with caregiving become overwhelming I have a set of Psalms handy to remind me where to take a heavy or burdened heart - right back to Him. But it can be difficult to find a scripture that pertains to everything - caregiving or not. There are tons of little things that we don't talk about but that can nag at us. I'

One of the biggest things I had to work through when I became a caregiver was music. I have played the guitar since I was about 13 (won't say how many years that has been!) and I've played the keyboard now for about 20 or so years. I also wrote poetry - started that sometime during my teen years and didn't even realize it for a long time. I don't know why. Over time the two began to blend together and I wrote music, mostly worship songs. Right after my son's wreck I penned a few songs from a raw emotional state. And then I stopped. Music died. I didn't even want to listen to music much. My son had been a drummer and a song writer and an accomplished musician. It broke my heart to hear music of any kind; and sometimes it made me downright mad. But over the last few months I have begun to return to that part of my heart and have a look around. I miss my son's music, but I was also missing my own. And I missed hearing Him  sing over me. Zephaniah 3:16 sa

There were a lot of things that changed about my life when I became a caregiver. I used to run on "go" all the time, loved to be in a crowd, and enjoyed hiking, a lot. The social isolation has been one of the most difficult aspects of caregiving for me. But I didn't really change that much as "me" - I just had to change a lot of what I did. I was still the same person who loved the same things I did before caregiving became my lot in life. I just had to stop many of the things I was doing because something more important needed to be taken care of, my son. Even though I've always been a very (and I mean very) social and personable person, it's more difficult to develop relationships now for me. I know one reason is that we can't do  some of the things others do to build relationships. You know, there's no meeting up for a movie, a cup of coffee or a walk in the park. Even if we do schedule it we have to be willing to drop our plans at the

When I woke up this morning I was having lots of trouble adjusting my attitude. I'm sure that's foreign to many of you - but after a night of tossing and turning it just happens. When sleep evades me - attitudes abound. Did you ever just doubt it all? I doubt He loves me, doubt He cares for me, doubt  He is with me, doubt He protects me... and the list goes on and on. My mind goes fast so in a matter of seconds I can have every area "covered" in doubt and frustration. My thoughts run along lines like if He loves me and truly cares for me why has this happened to me? Is this  what He really thinks about me and my son? I'm sure I'm the only one who has these little switches that get flipped and then a barrage of questions are hurled out all at one time. It seems worse during times of illness whether it is me or my son. This morning I got my son bolused and situated and then brought my coffee to my recliner kicked my feet up and started trying to sort thr

Sometimes I wonder just what God sees when He looks at me. Just like everyone else I wear many hats and play many roles in life and being a caregiver is just one of them. But when He looks at me, does He just see a caregiver? Does He see a mother caring for her child? Or perhaps He sees me as a grandmother playing with her grandchildren. Maybe He sees me as a sister, or as a child caring for her aging parents. Or that crazy aunt everyone needs in their lives! lol Does He look at me and see a runner? A blue belt in taekwondo? He put the gift of music in my heart - maybe he sees a guitar player or a keyboardist. Does He see a songwriter or a singer? Maybe He sees me as a writer or a poet.... While I was meditating on this the other day this little poem popped out. I see all the things you do... I appreciate every part of you. I see all the ways you spend your time But when I look at you.... I see you are mine. We are His. We belong to Him and He calls us His own.

I've talked a lot about seeing God. My favorite story used for reference is Hagar when she realized God saw her and her son. But until this week, I hadn't thought about the flip side of that. I was reading in Genesis about Abraham offering up Isaac. In chapter 22 verse 8 Abraham said "God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering." I know God does indeed provide  for us and I have certainly experienced that on my caregiving journey. But the margin caught my eye as it gave an alternate interpretation of see for the word "provide ."  My loose interpretation is God will be seen. I often rejoice in the fact that God can see me and knows my situation intimately. But I paused to ask can I see God? Honestly, there are those times when I don't feel I can see Him at all. Usually it's at 3 or 4 in the morning when my son is running a fever or moaning in pain and I feel out of options. I must admit I have not acted much like a believer

I've read and reread the story of Joseph, and growing up in church it was one of the common Bible stories that we heard over and over. On one hand I think the caregiver can learn from Joseph's patience. He had a dream that seemed could never come true. Life betrayed him. I know the scriptures don't go into Joseph's thoughts but he had to have some serious dedication to God to not lose it during those waiting years. I think of the betrayal by his brothers. Then the betrayal by Potiphar's wife. Not only did his brothers put him in a pit until they could sell him to the next passerby, Potiphar has him thrown into prison for something he didn't do. He spent a lot of time waiting, wondering, and trying to figure things out I would assume. While our stories usually focus on Joseph and his determination to serve God through his trials, this weekend as I was rereading the story once again, I thought about Jakob. In Genesis 37, it says that Jakob  wept for Joseph