Showing posts with label restoration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label restoration. Show all posts

Sought Out - Not Forsaken

 

Nice Little Smile from Chris

Sometimes for caregivers, the nights are long and the days are longer. Last night was a long night here as Chris was coughing so much. I kept an eye on his fever and oxygen levels then gave more meds around 5. I know you know the drill! when we have a long, nagging night, it seems like our brains kick into high gear. At least that's how it is for me. My thoughts go crazy with all the things that could possibly be wrong and go wrong. I'm constantly reeling my thoughts back in.

At least I know we are in good company when it comes to having anxious thoughts. David said in Psalm 94:19 In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. (NKJV) The NLT says it this way When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.  May we at least find a little comfort in knowing that David understood anxieties at least a little bit? 

Actually, David was a caregiver. Jonathon's son Mephibosheth was injured when his aid was carrying him and tripped. Both of his feet were crippled it says in 2 Samuel 9. David took him in and gave him a place at his table plus restored all the land to him that had belonged to his father and grandfather. David, the king went looking for someone of Saul's household and found a crippled man. It didn't put him off one bit. David had a heart after God, like God and he took Mephibosheth in even in his broken state.

Picture it. God comes looking for us even during those long, hard nights. He is looking for someone to show kindness to like David desired to do for Saul and Jonathan's sake. It was because of the covenant he had with Jonathon and the honor David he gave to Saul. God looks for us - seeks us out and comes right into our mess. Then He brings us to His table and cares for us.

Imagine Mephibosheth's fears of being summoned by the king. He may have wondered what David wanted from him. But like us before God - he found mercy, acceptance, provision, and restoration. I like that.

Today, I will rejoice in the mercies of God. I will allow His comfort to bring renewed hope and cheer to my heart. I will be thankful that even in the midst of a tough spot, He still reaches out to me with His comfort. It is amazing to me that His comfort, His peace, His joy, and His heart can penetrate the darkest night and touch my heart with His light. In the midst of my anxious thoughts, He comes seeking - looking for me when others avoid me. He sits with me all.night.long. And He keeps my soul. I will thank Him for that today - and rest in Him as I trust Him for one more day - will you join me?


PS - My devotional "21 Days" to help develop the habit of daily Bible reading is available on Amazon in Kindle format or hard copy!

Rambling Thoughts

Today is one of those days where I woke up and my thoughts were running away with me. Seriously, my thoughts are all over the place. When I first got up, something someone said yesterday started running around in my head and it went mentally viral from there.

I work for an SEO company - we work on websites. Its founder is a believer and a group of us meet online to pray for the company and all the employees. During that meeting yesterday, someone told me that God would restore these years to me. 

I know the guy meant well, but even as my heart can agree my head can't grasp that thought. My biggest question is How? I have become very familiar with the story of Job and everyone gets all excited at the end of the story about how God restored his fortunes (I had none of those before my story began! lol), and Job had 10 more kids! Yippee!!

I'm not overlooking or lessening the work God did in Job's heart and I understand the story had a good ending. But Job didn't get his first set of kids back either. That was a loss that could not be made up for. Let's be clear, I don't want any more kids - I'm too old for that!

When I think of "restoration," my mind goes to Joel and how he prophesied that God would restore all the cankerworm had destroyed. Caregiving can be like that worm that chips away at life one piece at a time. Can God put that back? Can He heal a living grief? Can He make restoration?

 I have to hold to God's word and know that He is able to restore in ways I don't even understand. And then....I just have to trust Him...for one more day. Then tomorrow, I'll trust Him for another. and so, in my crazy thoughts I come full circle back to the heart of the matter - trusting Him.

No matter how He chooses to restore, or what that looks like for each of us, it's all about finding that place of trust. Job said, even if God kills me, I will trust Him. So no matter what a day brings, or doesn't bring we have to keep our hearts in His and live in a continual state of waiting on Him.

Today I will picture my heart in His and do what I need to do to keep it there. My thoughts will be on trusting Him just for today, and I'll rest in that spot. I will give Him my concerns, my worries, my crazy thoughts and I will wait to see how He works on my behalf. I will trust Him for one more day - will you join me?




What's in A Name

Yesterday after I wrote the devotion, I couldn't shake Job from my mind. I kept thinking about the last few verses of the book and how quickly it smoothed his "life" over with what seems to be a he lived happily ever after.

God restored Job's health and wealth and he went on to have more children. I thought about that for awhile. Just because he had 10 more kids doesn't mean he didn't miss his first set of kids. These 10 didn't make up for the loss of his first children. He had still raised them and loved them and his memories of them were still in tact.

On my caregiving journey I have good days and bad days. I have pictures of my son BC (before crash). Some days when I see them, they tear at my heart. I remember how he was and see him as he is. Other days, I enjoy the memories we made and honestly wouldn't trade for having had the opportunity to make them. Most days I miss him too much to express with words. Even though it's different now - I still love him - he's my son. Adding another son - would not replace him or the spot he has in my heart.

It can be easy to look at the end of Job's story and think it all worked out perfectly, and on one hand it did. But the loss of his children was never erased. Our losses as caregivers don't just disappear when we have a good day. A lot is really up to our attitude and how we take on the new while carrying the old. Every day is an opportunity to be swept under by our emotions and the struggles we face; or to rise above them. Some days, I have to admit, I do well to keep just the tip of my nose out of the water to keep from drowning. Other days I adjust well.

So with Job still on my mind this morning, I got up and opened my Bible to chapter 42 one more time. Then I decided to look up the meanings of the names of his daughters. Jemima was Job's first daughter after his trial. It means beautiful as the day. His second daughter was named Kezia and it means fragrant as a perfume. And his third daughter was named Keren-happuch which means child of beauty. He could have named them anything - and these are the names he chose. I think it's significant.

The names of his daughters were all focused on beauty. Even though he must have grieved the loss of his other children, he focused on the beauty of these ladies. It seems to me that Job was looking at the beauty of the moment instead of the pain of the past. Job embraced the new and moved forward positively.

For me, the pain of the loss of the past can be haunting, but today I will try to let it go. I will think about the beauty of the moment instead. I will meditate on the works I see God doing in and around me today and not focus on the losses endured. My thoughts will be on His restoration and His protection of my soul, and I will rest in Him once again. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...