Showing posts with label strength in trouble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strength in trouble. Show all posts

Mighty Warrior

Have you ever had someone tell you they admire you and how they think you, as a caregiver, are so strong? It happens all the time - but I really don't feel strong at all. It feels like I am just surviving and not doing that very well some days. And then sometimes, like this weekend while on our first big walking adventure - I notice people looking at us with such sympathy - like they feel so sorry for us and our situation. How people see a caregiver relies a lot on the types of life experiences they have had themselves.

Maybe they have had their shot at caregiving and they feel like it takes an enormous amount of strength. Or maybe some have never been in the position and think there's no way they could do it. (I was in that class BC -before caregiving.) The truth is we may not feel strong at all - but others likely see us that way.

We know as caregivers that we have moments where we can take on the world. These usually occur after winning a loooong fight with a health care professional who doesn't understand our situation or an aide who doesn't want to do their job or a person without a disability who took a handicap parking spot! These I-can-take-on-the-world-and-win!  moments are sparse and short-lived as in a matter of minutes we can go from this high back to the harsh reality of not knowing how to face the next moment of the day.

Sometimes we are zooming along full speed and everything is going well - again a rare moment for many of us! - and WHAM! outta nowhere comes something that knocks us off our  feet. Maybe we get a horrifying call from an insurance company who threatens to drop us or our loved one, our handicap vehicle breaks down after a doctor's visit or our loved one's tube just pops out! (All of these have happened to me! lol) We don't even take time to think about having or finding strength we just kick into gear and get 'er done - whatever it takes! Then we promptly collapse into a pile of tears and exhaustion when we are done... experience speaking. That doesn't seem all that strong to me.

I had someone in one of my support groups say something that made me think of it she said, "She's shown us all a thing or two about digging down deep and getting things done." I just stared at that text on the screen and thought Is that how she sees me? To me - I'm flailing around trying to survive! How people see us is not usually how we feel about ourselves.

God doesn't see us like we see ourselves either. It makes me think of the story of Gideon in Judges 6. He was hiding from the enemy and the angel of the Lord came to him and said, hail, mighty man of valour! Really? He's hiding and God sees him as a mighty warrior?

Sometimes it's easier for the caregiver to try and hide in the caregiver's cave than it is to deal with the world outside - and even though we may see ourselves as a bit shaky, or frightened or weak - He sees us as He intended and He sees us as filled with the power of Christ.

Today I will meditate on the strength He has put inside of me instead of my own weakness. I will turn my thoughts to how He fills me with Himself until there's nothing left of me. And I will think about His mighty indwelling presence and how strong I am in Him. Will you join me?

Hangin' Out at His House

Psalm 27 has been a long time favorite of mine and as I was reading it recently there were a few things that really stuck out to me. Verse 5 really rings true for me today: In the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion.  I really like that for two reasons - the first one is that the psalmist says "in the time of trouble." This indicates that he experienced times of difficulty in his own life. It doesn't say "since God got me out of trouble" or "helped me avoid trouble," it says IN the time of trouble. There's not always a quick escape!

The second thing that sticks out to me is that during troublesome times- He hides me at His house. I really like that. He does not cast me aside or treat me like I am unworthy or meaningless - but He puts me up in His own house when I am experiencing trouble.

David indicates that he works hard to stay in God's house. His desire was to be in the Lord's presence and dwelling constantly with Him so that he could enjoy the beauty of the Lord. And God accommodates.

Verse 1 stands out to me right now too - the fact that HE  is the strength of my life.I do not have to be afraid of the situation or the circumstances and I do not have to give in beneath the load. (although I do have those days, don't you?) He will carry me and strengthen me for the journey and all it may pose along the way. He will not abandon me when the going gets tough - He'll stand beside me, give me His strength and help me make it through today. That's all we need to do anyway - is take it one day at a time.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He is my strength - I don't have to conjure up my own; and that He lets me stay in His house - free of charge - until the storms of life pass by.

When There's No End in Sight

Most of the crises in life have an end. Something happens, we work through it; we live through it and move on. I've received notes from individuals who were even in a caregiver's role for a short time due to an accident or illness. But for many caregivers there is not necessarily any end in sight. For some of us the rest of our lives looks like this...whatever "this" is to you. That can be a difficult thing to swallow.

This morning I was thinking about Isaiah 43 and how the Lord promised that we would face the fire and the flood; and that He'd be with us through them. But even these scriptures indicate we'll get through  them at some point. But for some that either looks impossible or very far away at best. What do you do when there's no end in sight? How do you cope when there is no promise that this trial will be over soon? You hold on.

Eternity will come; but it can be difficult to set our gaze on eternity when our pain is so in our face. Can eternity help us get through today? Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that He put eternity in our hearts. We are already in eternity - but we anxiously await for the day our "faith becomes sight" as it was so eloquently put in the hymn It is Well With my Soul. And we must remember that the writer of this treasured hymn wrote it in a moment of extreme soulful pain. He had lost his family in a tragedy - not something that can be erased even though you move on.

Eternity reminds us that we have this treasure in an earthen vessel.(2 Corinthians 4:7) And that this earthen vessel which houses the Holy Spirit of the living God is not exempt from affliction, persecution, or distress. The Apostle Paul explained to the Roman church that God can work everything out for our good when we trust Him - that does not mean that pain goes away or our trial ends speedily - but that there will be good come from it. Sometimes it's the changes in ourselves. We learn to trust Him more and that has value in eternity.

In the latter part of 2 Corinthians 4:7 Paul says that we have the treasure of Christ in this clay pot - so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves. No one understands better how powerless we are than the caregiver. But today I will rest in the truth that He is inside of me carrying me (and sometimes dragging me ) along. I will gain strength by acknowledging that He is my strength and that He has put His eternal Spirit inside of me to walk with me through the fire and the flood. And He does not get weary like I do.

My meditation today will be on how my body houses an eternal God. I'll think about how He lives in me and gives me strength even when there is no end in sight. I'll let Him work His works in me today - He did not change His goals when I became a caregiver or when tragedy struck. He is with me - through the fire - through the flood. And I will allow Him to carry me today - will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...