Showing posts with label frustrations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustrations. Show all posts

The Invitation

I woke up tired this morning, but that's nothing new for caregivers, right? And honestly, right now caregiving isn't the hard part for me, I've become accustomed to this normal. The difficult part for me right now is trying to figure out how to manage my work schedule along with my caregiving duties. Of course, there are always complications - because we are caregivers. No two days are exactly the same and you never know what is going to pop up unexpectedly.

Unless you are a caregiver, you won't get some of the frustrations that go along with the blessing of being able to care for your loved one. My greatest one of late is the repeated rescheduling of my son's case manager. Evidently she has no idea how much it takes to rearrange our schedule 3 times a week to accommodate her.(But she will have a clue after her visit on Friday- if she makes that one.)

Just my mornings go something like this:

  • Alarm goes off at 5:30 - hit the snooze to about 6
  • Get up (run to the bathroom - weigh in for the day)
  • Make coffee
  • Get Chris' bolus and meds ready
  • Start coffee
  • Go change Chris (welcome to the real world) and get him comfortable - bolus him
  • Back to the kitchen to rinse out the syringe and bolus cup
  • Grab first cup of coffee
  • Head for the recliner with coffee, baby monitor and Bible in hand
Honestly, the little baby monitor is one of my greatest investments! But this is the first half hour or so of my day. Then I start devotions, or that's the goal anyway. 

This morning my frustrations were still high as not getting to go to the store yesterday as planned means I have to change up this mornings schedule as well - all because the CM decided not to come yesterday and come Friday instead. But as I sat in my recliner and sipped my coffee, my Bible fell open to Revelation 22 and my eyes went straight to verses 10 and I read to verse 17 where I landed. It says this:
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come."
And let the one who hears say, "Come."
And let the one who is thirsty, come;
Let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost.

I thought about that a bit...I'm thirsty for Him. I need the refreshing water of life. And I can get it for free just by wanting and taking it....

My "google" mind brought up another similar scripture found in Isaiah 55:2 and it goes like this:

Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters,
And you who have no money -
come, buy and eat.
Come by wine and milk without money and without cost.

Wow- His refreshing waters are there for us to partake of - at any time - at no cost. Now I'm on my second cup of coffee- and I'm smiling. My mind went to another familiar scripture in one of my favorite go-to psalms: 46. It says: there is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy dwelling places of the Most High. "Dwelling places?" That would be us. His stream is running to us and through us already.

Let me see if I can pull all this together in my mind. There's this stream of living water and we are invited to drink anytime we want....the refreshing is free, we just have to come and get it. It may sound like it's far away - but it's actually running in our midst....the refreshing is there any time we need it, anytime we can just take a slow, deep breath and breathe Him in. He's here with us.

Today I will let His presence transform my frustration into refreshing. I will purposefully welcome the stream of God's presence to flow through my heart. My meditations will be on how He is just asking us to "come" to Him and be refreshed. I'll think about the rest of Psalm 46 - and how He is present and He is inviting me to come drink of Him. I will accept His invitation - will you join me?






Our Heart Contains the Directions for Using the Mouth!

The scriptures in James about taming the tongue have always been interesting to me. Not that I have mastered the content! lol! That's way beyond me now...as my frustration level can be high on any (or every) given day I find it difficult to not say things out of anger or frustration. I'm mostly alone here anyway - who will hear?

The frustrations come for caregivers because our plate is so full all the time! It just seems sometimes that it gets piled higher and higher and nothing ever goes away. That's how it feels some days...most days. Then any little thing is like more than what can be handled in the moment... and it can be something pretty insignificant but because of the already heavy load we carry it sends angry words off the tip of the tongue. (maybe that's just me?)

But as I was reading this morning I saw in Joshua 1:8 ( a very familiar scripture) in a new light. God told Joshua to not let the Book of the Law depart from his mouth.. to me that means he was to talk about it all the time basically. I think the next phrase tells him how: but you shall meditate on it day and night. According to James we cannot tame the tongue but since the mouth speaks from what's in the heart - we can set our heart to meditate on Him more and (hopefully in my case) it will have a wonderful effect on our tongues!

So when things get rocky today (or tomorrow), or when we get tired and want to give up or give in...find a scripture to set the heart upon and meditate it until it becomes part of you. My first scripture response is always Psalm 57:1 - the last part says I will stay in the shadow of His wings until calamity is past. I meditated on it in 1986 when I was very ill for a long time. And now it's part of me...

I encourage you today to find such a scripture that you can meditate on and let it become a part of you. It will change your heart and your vocabulary!

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...