Broken Crayons

 I am still rolling over last week's blog in my mind. The thought of being "complete" still runs through my mind because I feel like my life as a caregiver is so fractured. No area of our lives is left untouched from our work to family, friends, and church. Every piece of us - is touched in some way by caregiving. Sometimes well-meaning people just can't take this journey with us, you know? It's not easy to watch or live a caregiver's life sometimes. It's easy to feel abnormal when we let the tv and society set those norms for us, isn't it?

But trusting God is the norm for believers. This morning I was thinking back about many of our Bible heroes and how they trusted God in their adverse circumstances. I thought of how their lives and our lives are easily shattered. If we've gained anything through this pandemic, perhaps it's the realization that life is fragile indeed.

Feeling broken doesn't mean we are broken, even though the feelings are real. We may feel like we are disjointed from society or cut off from the church. But even in our brokenness, He chooses to fill us up with all He is. I was thinking along these lines this morning I remembered hearing someone say that a broken crayon can still be used to color a beautiful picture. Then I chuckled as I thought about a broken clock is still right two times a day! (lol) A broken mirror still reflects what is set before it. Then it must be possible - NO - probable that God can still use us to reflect His glory and color His story even in our brokenness. 

I have to go back to last week and think - I am whole in Him, and you are whole in Him. So, as long as we stay hidden in Him, which is where we belong. Where we are welcomed. Where we fit. Where we find rest and strength. We are whole and He continues to use us.

Today, I will remind myself that nothing on this earth can prevent me from being whole in Him. His Kingdom (which lives in me and you) cannot be shaken by any news or happenings in the earth's kingdom. And I am not a citizen of earth's kingdom - I am a citizen of God's eternal, glorious Kingdom where I am not "just a caregiver" but I am whole in Him. Today, I will rest in this truth and I'll try to picture myself from His Kingdom's point of view - will you do the same and join me today?

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Everything Changes - Nothing Changes

As a caregiver, we can play many roles and wear lots of hats all at the same time. People looking in often don't realize that there is a lot more to us than just caregiving - even though it consumes a lot of our lives. Sometimes I feel totally scattered; my thoughts and life feel like they are going in many different directions all at once. The caregiver can be caught in a very fractured life.

Colossians 2:10 says that we are complete in Him. Even though our lives can feel shattered or scattered, and we don't enjoy some of the "freedoms" others seem to have, we are not fractured. We are whole.

In many instances caregiving brought hurt and confusion into our lives and quite honestly, in many cases it never goes away we just learn to deal. I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that this is what my life looks like from here on out. And one of my biggest challenges is trying to prepare for when I'm gone. It's not a fun thought - but it has to be considered. But even though a caregiver's life may feel broken, scattered or fractured, our spirit/soul remains complete, full and whole in Him.

Becoming a caregiver doesn't change our status as a believer. His words (every single one of them) are still true. We still bear fruit, we are still hidden in Him - and we may have moved in just a little closer - He is still our rock, our source, our comfort, our strength and our song!

Our "completeness" or "wholeness" does not rely on any life status - it rests solely on Him. And He didn't change a bit when I became a caregiver. Colossians 2:1-15 is still true for caregivers or it's not true at all!

Today I will meditate on the truth that I am whole in Him - He completes me. I will turn my thoughts to the fact that He has still removed my sin- I have been baptized with Christ and raised with Him to live triumphantly. Today I will rejoice that I am whole and there is nothing that can make me un-whole. Nothing can take me out of Him - or Him out of me. Will you join me?