Showing posts with label everyday tasks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label everyday tasks. Show all posts

But First I'll Have Coffee

For quite some time now I've said I have attention deficit problems. I'm a very high strung, energetic, gotta-keep-going type of person. So much so that more than one doctor wants to medicate me to help me "settle down." I kindly refuse as I don't think I need to be like everyone else. There's nothing wrong with having loads of energy in my opinion. However, it does come with some areas that have to be dealt with or they get out of hand. One of these is dealing with distractions, partly because everything can be a distraction.

A friend and I were talking about distractions over the weekend and so my thoughts have been on this topic this week. As an individual, everything is distracting. I can go in the kitchen for something specific but make coffee because that sounds good and then totally forget why I went in there to begin with. On my way to the bathroom I can stop to fold laundry, check the mail or do any number of other things that grab my attention along the way. And cleaning house is a nightmare because I start in one place and end up doing 12 other things.

Caregiving can be its own distraction from life. It commands and deserves the bulk of our time. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it's just a fact that it is time consuming. For many of us who are full-time caregivers we have to do double everything. For those who are part-time caregivers, it still takes large portions of time. We have to be creative in how we get other things done sometimes because a chunk of our day is spent tending to other's needs. That's not a problem - this is when we look the most like Him!

The challenge is in keeping our eyes focused on God and His kingdom in the midst of caregiving. For me, at first it was really hard to even think about the Kingdom of God and how it related to life after caregiving. So much appeared to be less applicable than it was BC (before caregiving). But this is not true. Everything in the Kingdom of God that was true and pertinent BC is just as applicable as a caregiver. Actually, that is what brings me peace many days. That's realizing that His kingdom did not change one iota when my life situation was rearranged. Everything He promised me BC was and is still mine after. His love did not weaken and His purpose for me did not change. I've had some adapting to do - but not one of His promises have changed - caregiving did not distract God and it should not distract me.

Proverbs 4: 25-27 says this: Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil. (NLT) It can be so difficult to focus while taking care of another whole person. We can quickly be overcome by daily tasks that quite frankly have to be completed.

Over the last few weeks, I've purposefully been taking time to refocus on Him and the Word. No matter how cluttered and crazy my world has been, I've taken a few minutes each day to refocus on Him; and it's made a huge difference. I'd like to encourage you today to take just 5 minutes to slow down, put aside everything in your mind, let your task list wait and meditate on His love or anything else that didn't change when you became a caregiver.

Today I'm going to turn my thoughts to all the things that did not change with my situation. His love. His patience. His longing for me. The hope of salvation. The truth that He is my righteousness. I'll be meditating on these types of things today - as a matter of fact I might just start a list of the things that did not change. And then - I'll rest in His unchanging love. Will you turn off the distractions for a day and join me?

Rainy Days and Mondays

I'm a 70's child and I remember when "Rainy Days and Mondays" was popular on the radio.It's got such a smooth sound it can get stuck in your head. For the caregiver "Mondays" doesn't mean too much really, since everyday  can look pretty much the same.

We get up on Monday mornings with just as much to do as we had when we got up on Sunday morning. The caregiver's responsibilities don't change much, if any, from day to day. I usually try to make some small variances on the weekends, like letting my son sleep in just a little bit longer; but the primary responsibilities do not change with the day of the week. When you are caring for another whole person these do not change much. There's still bathing, pureeing foods, feeding, transferring, dressing, and lots of other things that have to be done every single day. If we are blue because it's Monday, we are likely blue every day of the week!

I went in search of one of the scriptures we, as good church people, learn as a child. This is the day the Lord has made - we will rejoice and be glad in it.  I found it in Psalm 118:24. For the caregiver everyday is the same - for all of us - everyday is the day the Lord has made and has given us. Our attitude determines how we handle the situations we will face on any given day; and we will face them! There's always something! Aides who don't show up (if you're lucky enough to have one at all), supplies are not delivered on time, an appliance breaks, you run out of briefs or wipes, any one of a thousand things can happen in a caregiver's day - and usually does. It's our attitude that determines our day - not the day of the week. Mondays are just like Fridays which are just like Tuesdays and Wednesdays....they are all days He has given us with our loved ones.

Rather than thinking about how today is Monday and it's supposed to be rough, I'm going to shift my thinking to the fact that each day is a gift from Him. The psalm that contains this verse is full of praise to the Lord for all He has done. At the very beginning the psalmist lists a few things He's done like:

  • He is good and His mercy endures forever
  • I called on the Lord and He answered me
  • The Lord is on my side
  • The Lord is for me
Having a rough day? Just pick one of these to meditate on today. Let it mold our attitudes into one of thankfulness for all He has done. It's all about focus.

Today I will meditate on how God is on my side - and  He is for me! As I go about the caregiving tasks that are necessary I will think about how He gives me the strength to carry on. My thoughts will be on how He really is for me and not against me; and He is for me when it feels like life is against me! I will be thankful today that He is with me. Will you join me?

I am Your Servant

It's too bad that life doesn't have a "hold" button sometimes. Each caregiver has unique circumstances to deal with on a daily basis and it can be overwhelming. We get used to our "new normal" after awhile though. God equipped humans to be able to adjust and move forward. It can still take a long time to be "okay" with a lot of aspects of caregiving though. For instance going out can be a trying but rewarding experience for many. Even when you get used to it there is so much involved in just grabbing a few groceries it's exhausting. Common everyday tasks can be much more complicated for caregivers. Then add to that other life changes like aging parents and it can be overwhelming to say the least. In my case, my parents are aging and even though I am a caregiver for my handicapped son, my role with my parents is slowly evolving into that of a caregiver as well. What can we do when we are overwhelmed?

I know I spend a lot of time in the Psalms, but I just enjoy the way David is so open and honest about his thoughts, feelings and emotions. In Psalm 143 he is crying out for the Lord to hear his cries and in verse 4 he says my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart faints within me. Boy, what caregiver hasn't felt that at some time or another? There are days, thankfully not every day, where you just feel like you can't handle one more thing!

The other thing I like about David and the Psalms is that he talks himself out of it. As I read through the rest of Psalm 143 I found some strategies that I can adapt and use myself. They go something like this:

I meditate on Your doings
I stretch out my hands to you
I trust in You
I lift up my soul to You
I take refuge in You

Those statements are all mixed in with his heartfelt prayers for help. But the final statement in the psalm sticks out to me: I am Your servant. I think that with this statement David was handing it all, himself included, back to God to handle. To me it was a statement of total submission to God. Like he's praying and asking God for help, turning his thoughts and heart toward the Lord and then settling it all with a huge sigh and a I am Your servant. Period.

I think that may be the key when we are totally overwhelmed by all that life throws at us; yielding totally to Him. I want God to use everything that happens in my life to draw me closer to Him and to teach me more about Him and His ways. Personally, I don't think God causes these things to happen - they are just part of living; but since they have happened I don't want them to be wasted. I want to grow and learn in the midst of the trials. He has not given up on us and He won't stop working on us.

Today I will meditate on yielding my soul (mind, will and emotions) to Him. I will yield  my control and let God have it all: the good, the bad and the ugly! I will turn my thoughts and my heart to totally trusting Him to turn every situation around for something good. I will trust Him. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...