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Showing posts from January, 2016

The Invitation

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I woke up tired this morning, but that's nothing new for caregivers, right? And honestly, right now caregiving isn't the hard part for me, I've become accustomed to this normal . The difficult part for me right now is trying to figure out how to manage my work schedule along with my caregiving duties. Of course, there are always complications - because we are caregivers. No two days are exactly the same and you never know what is going to pop up unexpectedly. Unless you are a caregiver, you won't get some of the frustrations that go along with the blessing of being able to care for your loved one. My greatest one of late is the repeated rescheduling of my son's case manager. Evidently she has no idea how much it takes to rearrange our schedule 3 times a week to accommodate her.(But she will  have a clue after her visit on Friday- if she makes that one.) Just my mornings go something like this: Alarm goes off at 5:30 - hit the snooze to about 6 Get up (ru

You're Doing a Good Job

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One of my goals for this year was to read more for enjoyment, and not only for work purposes. I finished my first book of the year over the weekend and am trying to squeeze in another one before this weekend before I go back to my scheduled reading list. I also read lots of other stuff like LinkedIn Pulse on my phone. Today it had a story by a lady and she was talking about writing web content. It caught my interest since that's been a lot of what I've done over the last few years. She focused on a statement that really got my attention. It simply said: You're doing a good job!  It wasn't even directed at me, but it made me feel good anyway. Sometimes as caregivers it's nice to hear that we are doing a good job. It's no easy task taking care of another whole person or having to make decisions on their behalf. Maybe one reason we don't hear it more is some people really don't understand what we do all day long. I've heard   "it's nice y

He Always Showed Up

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I often refer to caregivers as furnace walkers  because our lives are lived out in the furnace. This morning during my devotions, some thoughts left over from yesterday evening started rolling around in my head. I first thought of the three Hebrew children as they were thrown into the fiery furnace. Then I thought about Daniel and the entire night he spent in the lion's den. In times past these stories were really frustrating to me as they all were delivered out of their trials while most caregivers faithfully face their furnace  day after day. But today my mind took a different route. For these two stories what stood out to me in my morning devotions was the fact that God showed up.  Technically, He didn't deliver  them out of the trial, but He walked through it with them. The king in both of these stories had delivered these men of God to their fate - and the king in both stories removed the men from their trials. But God showed up. God was present in the fire  with t

Speak Fast Lord, I've Got a Lot to Do!

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Caregivers no doubt have a lot on their plate, I mean after all, we are taking care of another whole person's needs on varying levels. Some caregivers are taking care of even more than one. I don't know about you, but my morning can get outta hand hectic way too fast. My morning sets the order for my day - which is why I try to do my devotions first thing. If I don't, I may never get the chance again. This morning I got up with all the things I had to get done today on my mind. I have work to do to keep the lights on, my son's case manager is coming by this afternoon, a new module opens in my class I'm enrolled in (and I haven't finished last week's module), and just all the normal  caregiving stuff like bathing, pureeing, feeding, and the different therapies. I'm tired just thinking about it all! I got up, got my coffee (I never miss that part), sat in my recliner, opened my Bible and thought You gotta speak fast Lord, I only have 'til 7. And

He Knows When We Stop By

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There's not really any easy  days for caregivers, I don't think; but some days are more difficult than others. It was difficult for me to adjust to the new normals  when I first stepped into the role and it eventually became second nature, but boy did it take awhile. And that still doesn't mean it's easy. One thing that keeps me going every day is knowing I have a place to hide if I need it. If I start feeling overwhelmed (more so than usual), or like I can't handle it any more, or just get tired - there's a place I can go. Nahum 1:7 offers me great comfort in saying: The Lord is good, He is a stronghold in the day of  trouble; and He knows those who take refuge in Him. There are three very distinct and encouraging points in this verse and for me each truth holds a deep meaning and gives me strength. God is Good.  I love this phrase even though I feel like it's misused a lot. Usually, we hear it when a person gets what they want. They get a new car:

From a Distance

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One of the coolest things about living in this day and age is that we are all much more connected through the internet. We can check up on any of our friends around the world; or make new friends in distant places. As a caregiver, I've found it has made a huge difference and for awhile social media provided my only "social" outlet. There were some days having some connections via online resources meant the difference in my sanity. But there are some downfalls to having connections only through the internet. My computer has never laughed with me, had coffee with me, or hugged me; and we can still be lacking physical interaction. There have been a few friends who stepped across that invisible barrier and we talk on the phone, have coffee now and then or even share conversation via skype. But I've found for the vast majority my connections  can stay distant. Caregivers don't have the picture perfect lives and sometimes people really don't know how to make a

Be Quiet AND Wait?

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A favorite scripture of mine is Isaiah 40:31. I learned it at an early age and we used to sing it in church when I was a teenager. It says this: They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.  On one hand it makes you wonder if we get weary if we are truly waiting on Him. On the other hand, anyone who wonders that about us is free to spend a day doing what we do. On the other hand, we have to question what waiting   on God  might really mean. When my son first had the accident, I waited in the ICU waiting room for God to ride in on His white horse and rescue us from this tragedy. He did not. But I waited. But then of course this scripture doesn't say those who wait on the Lord will see Him come riding through on His white horse to rescue them from life, does it? Actually, it says when we wait  we will find new strength.  Maybe Psalm 62 can shed a little light on

The In-Betweens

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This morning during my quiet time I was thinking about some of my favorite Bible characters and the obstacles they overcame. Of course, it's the fact that they overcame that makes them heroes of our faith. I was trying to think if I could find some distant way to identify with any one of them. But I'm not sure anyone was a caregiver or could relate to our world today in that way. David took care of Jonathan's son Mephibosheth who was crippled, but other than that I pretty much came up empty. But as my mind was strolling through some of the great OT stories, it landed on Moses; and that's where I settled. We know at God's word he charged in and faced an obstinate king only to find out that God's chosen people  were just as obstinate. Moses really had his hands full trying to provide for a nation of people. There was a lot happening between Exodus chapter 3 and chapter 19. In chapter 3, Moses is standing on the mount and God tells him that he'd return to

All I Need is One Forever

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The caregiver's life is not considered to be normal  by most people's standards, because is anything but  normal. We do find our new norms and through experimentation find out what works, and does not work for our particular situation; and each one of our situations is totally unique. While we are all so different in the things we deal with each day, we still share many commonalities. A caregiver's life no matter what can tend to be: hectic, frustrating, endless, tiring, and overall crazy most of the time! (maybe that's just me!) Our days are definitely not  normal. It might be normal  for us to keep a bag packed and ready to go in case there's  midnight (or anytime) run to the ER. All our doctor's numbers are on speed dial - and yes there are more than one. We plan our grocery shopping around aides, if we have a good one. We learn how to order everything online - and I mean everything.  We also learn to do a lot of medically related tasks that we would ha

Where God Dwells

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The last few days I've been camped out in Psalm 69, and I found myself a few nuggets I've been chewing on. It seems David was in quite a state of distress again.  If you think we as caregivers go back and forth on our emotions - take a look at the Psalms David wrote. His thoughts and emotions were all over the place and often in a single psalm he can go from high praise to the pit. That pretty much sums up any of my days. One minute I'm singing and playing the guitar and the next I feel like I'm emotional stuck in a mud pit. (I know it's just me......) I think for me it has come down to verse 6 of this psalm. It says: May those who wait for You not be ashamed through me , O Lord God of hosts; May those who seek You not be dishonored through me , O God of Israel.  That's been my prayer not just for my life since I've become a caregiver - but BC (before caregiving) too. I've wanted my life to bring God glory - and still do. Every caregiver has their