Our faith simply cannot allow us to overlook some of the heart-wrenching phrases such as:
- Day and night I have only tears for food
- My heart is breaking
- Why am I discouraged?
- Now I am deeply discouraged
- Why have You forsaken me?
- Why must I wonder in darkness oppressed by my enemies?
Most of these are followed with encouraging answers such as:
- I will put my hope in God!
- I will praise Him again!
Evidently the psalmist found himself in a very sticky situation and was grasping for hope from outside himself. He was facing an onset of discouragement and fighting off feelings of being forsaken and alone. He kept telling himself to put his hope in God and that he would praise Him once again. Seeking God like the panting deer looks for water is a matter of sheer desperation. And you know what? It's okay.
In many cases the day to day life of the caregiver can be lived out in desperation - constantly seeking trying to find God in our circumstance. It does not mean we have sinned, or that we've distanced ourselves from the One we love- it's just not a comfortable place - and He's still right here - even when life gets ugly. It's okay to be desperate for Him in an un-church way - and it's okay to be thirsty for Him outside of corporate worship. We do not have to go to church to find Him. And we can be as determined as the sons of Korah in saying I will put my hope in God - I will praise Him again.
Today I'm going to meditate on the truth that He is here with me whether I feel Him or not. It's okay for life to be discouraging - but I will continue to seek for him from the desperate soul. And I will find Him....here.