Showing posts with label captivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label captivity. Show all posts

The Big Dipper

As caregivers, our emotions are often running on the edge. For me, it doesn't take much to tip me over into a huge downward spiral. For today I'm calling it the "big dipper." Just a single word, an honest question, a picture from the past - it doesn't take much to send me into the dip of depression. I have developed a few strategies that work for me and being able to identify it early on means I don't always dip as far or I can head it off at the pass. But not always.

With so many things on our plate it doesn't take a lot, does it? This last week was full of dealing with a faulty internet provider which is enough frustration by itself when you work online and were without internet for two days! lol. Sometimes it's bigger things - but sometimes it's those little things that chip away at sanity and peace.

How are we supposed to deal with this "big dipper?" It's going to come for us. Some day. Some time. We may feel broadsided by it, or we might not realize it has slipped up on us. The church world can be harsh and tell us depression is sin, or that we are not trusting God enough. Neither of those is necessarily true. We have a LOT on our plates. Our cups run over with emotions, responsibilities, and life events. It can sap us of our strength and make the mess much more complicated - but it certainly does not indicate a lack of trust in God.

As a caregiver, there are days that run smoothly. Chris is doing good and things get done that need to be done, my clients are happy with my work (and pay on time!). Depression can still leak into those not-quite-perfect days. Nothing's ever going to be perfect - our loved ones are suffering in some way. I say the fact that you are still reading this blog - you are still searching scriptures for a strand of hope - you are still praying and seeking Him for strength - is an indication you are faith-filled. You haven't given up yet - you are still seeking Him. That to me is the epitome of faith.

And here's the other side of this "big dipper." God has a big dipper to - but it's just the right size to dip down into our lives, find us and pull us out of the emotional muck and mire. This reminds me of Psalm 40:2 where David said, He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He used His big dipper to come into our situation and rescue us. He doesn't sit and watch from a distance (like most of the church) - He inserts Himself as far into our situation as we will allow. He makes our steps firm. Then the next verse says this: He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God (not to ourselves or about ourselves) many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.

Today, I will be thankful that God understands when life gets out of hand or out of control. I will thank Him for not leaving me when stuff just doesn't make sense. I appreciate that He is not afraid of my chaos, my crazy thoughts or roaming emotions. My meditation today will be on His gracious entry into my topsy-turvy world. I'll rejoice that at my invite, He joins my world, loves me in the midst of it and offers peace for each messed up piece. I'll invite Him to come deeper in my world today - will you join me?


Quick Escapes

When I first brought my son home I could not transport him by myself. Due to the head injury, he was very stiff and  sometimes wouldn't bend once you got his stood up. This made it difficult to get him in a vehicle. Add to that the fact that I was inexperienced at transfers and let's just say we stayed home a lot! Eventually, I was able to get a handicap van and we enjoyed a brief amount of freedom. It was short-lived as the van is very old and needs a lot of work. Presently it sits in a parking spot outside my apartment. I'm pretty much stranded. You might say I am a captive in my own house for the most part. I do have the option of public transportation and use it a couple of times a week.

Even though I sometimes feel like a captive in my own house, it's nothing compared to what others like Daniel have gone through. In the first chapter of Daniel we find the story of the captivity of a great number of Israelites. He found himself in great adversity. He was:

  • Held captive 
  • Physically mistreated and mutilated
  • Made incapable of having children
  • In a land foreign to his own
  • Separated from his family
Even though Daniel was in a state of adversity, he made up his mind about some things. In the first chapter, verse 8 the Bible tells us that he "purposed in his heart" to not eat the king's food. He refused to defile his body. Daniel was taking a big change here; he could have been killed simply for refusing.Here he was facing great adversity and a life that had become very complicated but he choose to hold to his convictions.

The caregiver's life can be a state of adversity. We can feel like we are held captive by the situation; and at times it seems like everyday is a battle. But like Daniel, we can make up our minds to be pure, to follow our convictions and hold true to the Word of God. We can choose to follow peace in our heart and not allow things in our lives that displease the One we serve.

God saw Daniel's dedication to Him. He did not offer him a quick escape from his situation. There is likely no quick escape for the caregiver. Instead, we see that Daniel was content in the situation and trusted that God would take care of him. Like Daniel we can't just look for quick escapes out of difficult situations, we must determine in our hearts that we will live a life of purity even in adversity. We must determine that we will live a life of purity and holiness before the Lord and not use our adversity for an excuse. We ultimately must trust Him for the safety of our hearts.

Today I will trust Him with my heart. I will purposefully evaluate my life to see if there is anything that might be displeasing to God. And I will remove it. I will not look for a quick escape - I'll look for a way to honor Him in my situation. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...