When We Wake Up Tired

Some mornings I just wake up tired. Perhaps it's because I overdid it yesterday, or maybe it's because I'm looking ahead at what I have to do today. Either way there are these mornings when I feel like I am scraping myself off the bed to get about the day.

I've heard people say that it is so nice you can stay home. I try not to laugh too loudly. I think they have no idea what that actually looks like. Just today I have the nurse coming at 10 for her monthly visit, then I have to get my son fed, changed and loaded to go to therapy by 1:30. That takes the whole afternoon (not at all a complaint - just a fact!), then I'll have to get him back home and fed and in bed for a short rest before we start our evening schedule and then hopefully at some point back to bed late tonight. AND somewhere in all that I have clients who are waiting on work and of course they all need it right now!  whew! No wonder I was tired when I woke up this morning.

It is very hard for me, and many caregivers, to admit to being tired. If we acknowledge its presence, we might succumb to it; and we really don't have time for that!

This morning I did my usual morning routine (after scraping myself up at 6:30 which is late for me!). It goes like this: prepare Chris' meds and bolus, start the coffee pot, change Chris and get him comfortable, bolus him and then grab a fresh cup and head for the recliner for my devotions. all the while the day before me is running through my mind: call the apartment office at 9 - the air still isn't working, have Chris bathed and up by about 9:30, the nurse will be here at 10 or 10:30 (she wasn't sure), after she leaves he has to be fed and dry by 12:15 to load in the van and head to OKC......And then I start running through the clients who want work TODAY! I've been up for an hour - and I really wish I could go back to bed!

But as caregivers we really don't have that option. We will push through the day functioning as well as possible and hope nothing falls apart! There's no time to stop, rest, recover or put broken things back together.

As I am rehearsing and organizing my day in my head (yes - I'm a type A - it is ALL  rehearsed and scheduled!) for a brief moment I allow myself to think I'm really tired.  And immediately I think of the familiar passage in Isaiah 40. It's as if God showed me a snapshot of that page in my Bible. almost like He was asking me the question:

Do you not know? Have you not heard?

The Everlasting God, the Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth

Does not become weary or tired.

His understanding is inscrutable.

He gives strength to the weary,

And to him who lacks might He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired, 

and vigorous young men stumble badly

Yet those who wait for the Lord

Will gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not get tired,

They will walk and not become weary.

I let out a huge sigh as I found it comforting somehow that God acknowledged my weariness. It's not like He doesn't know. So today while I am scurrying about getting done as much as I can - and letting go of the rest (we are only human you know!) I will on purpose - wait for Him. I'll trust Him for strength today and smile because He never gets tired. He's always there to lift me up and strengthen me.

Today I will purposefully acknowledge that I need His strength and I will let Him carry me. My meditation will be on waiting on Him instead of relying on myself. I will wait for Him. I will rest in Him. And I will make it! Will you join me?

Who's Waiting on Who?

Caregivers often wake up tired, do you ever do that? It seems that if we are in bed for any length of time we should wake up refreshed and ready to go. 

We deal with so many different areas and are pulled in numerous directions everyday that it's easy to get and stay tired. Just because we became a caregiver doesn't mean that we stopped being everything else. Besides caregivers we are often also: grandparents, teachers, parents, sisters, children, siblings, athletes, homemakers, writers, and the list could go on. To be a caregiver we didn't have to stop being in all these other roles because as we learned real quick - life does go on.

Besides all the tasks associated with a normal life, we have caregiving chores too. And to be totally honest sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I stay tired too! (smile) I get tired of dealing with politics and health care stuff. 

...tired of dealing with social workers

...tired of dealing with aides that don't want to work

...tired of dealing with paperwork 

(the same paperwork over and over and over)

...tired of dealing with the system 

...tired of dealing with doctors who don't call back

I'm sure we each have our own items to add and our own lists. Sometimes it's not the actual caregiving that wears us out - it's all the stuff we have to put up with to do it. 

This morning I got up thankful that God does not get tired. I love the passage in Isaiah 40 that says this:

Have you never heard or understood?

Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God,

the creator of all the earth?

He never grows faint or weary.

No one can measure the depths of His understanding.

He gives power to those who are tired and worn out

He offers strength to the weak. (NLT)

That's just what I needed to hear this morning. He does not get tired. That means He doesn't get tired or weary of me getting tired and weary. He doesn't roll His eyes when I start whining again, or pouting. He just waits for me to come back around. He's not tired of me - He's not tired of my situation, He's not tired of me being tired. He gives me power when I an tired and worn out!

Today my meditation will be on His never ending strength and the fact that He waits for me to wait on Him so He can pour it into me. My thoughts will be on how He is the everlasting God  who does not get tired but gives strength and power to me. I will admit my weakness, and focus on His strength. Will you join me?

God Doesn't Know?

Isaiah 40 is a long time favorite chapter for many. It has some amazing thoughts about how God  created the world, measuring sand and water in the palms of His hands; how He formed the mountains and shaped the earth. Most of the time we read this chapter and keep it isolated yet Isaiah starts a discourse in chapter 40 that runs all the way through to the end of chapter 44.

 If we look at it in its entirety the prophetic speech goes all the way through to verse 8 of chapter 44. I kind of look at it like verses6-8 of chapter 44 are like the God's exclamation point at the end of His thoughts. Verse 8 says this:

 Do not tremble and do not be afraid

Have I not long since announced it to you and declared it?

And you are my witnesses

Is there any God besides Me,

Or is there any other Rock?

I know of none.

God had spoken some pretty awesome things in the previous chapters and here He is telling His own children that they have no need to fear. And the God asks and answers His own question. He wants to know if there is any other God. Is there any other place to run? And other refuge? And then He gives a simple answer:

 I know of none...

He doesn't know...and since He knows everything and sees everything that makes this a powerful statement that can be easily overlooked. Although it is powerful, it is simple. There just is no God like our God who is our rock of refuge. There is no other place to run to when trouble comes, no other answer available! There is no god like our God!