Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Process Process Process!

Do you ever feel cheated out of life? For me caregiving interrupted some really good plans that I had laid out. I was heading to Africa as fast as I could get there- one of my life-long dreams. But when my son had his wreck that and my future were jerked right out from under me. I have to admit that I've dealt with some anger over that. Caregiving makes it hard to dream.

I'm aging along with the rest of you, and these are supposed to be the years I've looked forward to. It's time for me to start planning retirement. Of course, I wanted to relax, travel, spend the golden years fulfilling all the dreams I still had. Instead I'm trying to figure out how to put back and prepare for taking care of my son once I am gone. No retirement in sight - ever.

Anger is just one of the things Paul instructed Christians to put off in Colossians 3. Actually, he gave a whole list of things to put away from us.In verse 8 he lists things like anger,rage, malicious behavior, slander and unholy language. These are all to be gotten rid of - and this takes action on our part. They are not evidently just going to fall off as we travel along the roads of life. Actually, it can be a constant struggle to beat their influence in our lives. Caregiving can be frustrating. Not really so much the taking care of our loved one - but dealing with all the other particulars and organizations that are supposed to be in place to provide help for us.

While we are taking off all these ungodly actions we are supposed to be putting on other things. In verse 12 Paul tells us to put on or to clothe ourselves (once again an action on our part) with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Evidently Paul never had to deal with DHS or a home health agency. lol

In reality, it can be difficult to get rid of anger and embrace humility and grace. Actually, because of our lives this can be a constant struggle for us. And it simply doesn't happen over night. It takes effort and time to develop. Actually in verse 10, Paul says that our new self is being renewed as we learn about Him and become like Him. This verb is not past tense as if it's all a done deal. Instead it is present continuous. This means it is not only happening right now - it is continuing to happen in the future. It's not a one time deal. There's no "easy button" to push either. We'll have to walk it out right in the face of adversity.

We choose to allow His work in our hearts. We allow His peace to displace the anger or turmoil. (or whatever it is you deal with specifically.) It's certainly not going to go away on its own. It's a process - and we have to yield to that process.

Today I will consciously yield to the process He is doing in my heart. I will make every effort to put off anger instead of embracing it. My meditation will be on His peace and I will choose to embrace His work in my heart. I'll purposefully choose to lay aside anger and choose to follow peace. Will you join me?

Joseph's Journey

Yesterday I spent more time thinking about how adversity can open the door of hope. My thoughts led me to Joseph. God had given him dreams when he was a young boy and his family had made fun of him and judged him for it. I am sure he wondered some about those dreams as he was imprisoned for something he did not do.

Joseph's situation was dire. First of all, prisons back then were nothing like they are today. While our prisons are not pleasant, they are humane. I figure it had to be a very lonely place for Joseph. His family was far away and they weren't coming to look for him. Did he think back about those childhood dreams?  I wonder if he thought about his brothers and family while he was there. Did he ever think about what it would have been like if he hadn't been betrayed and sold by his brothers?

I also wonder if forgiveness and acceptance were daily choices for Joseph. In my situation, someone else caused the accident which injured my son and made me a caregiver. Sometimes I think about what my son would have been doing if the accident hadn't occurred. This can easily make forgiveness a daily choice. Just like Joseph most likely sat in a dark prison, caregiving can seem very dark and lonely at times. But it doesn't mean the dreams are dead.

God didn't say, I know I gave you dreams Joseph, I just forgot this other stuff was going to happen. He didn't erase the dreams because of life's adverse situations. Instead, the prison became its own door of hope. Of course, we read these chapters in a few minutes while Joseph lived out years of his life. In one chapter we see that he is brought out of prison and becomes a great leader. In another his brothers come seeking food and there is a great reunion. And then they lived happily ever after.

Joseph's dreams came true but not in the way he thought they would; and not in the time frame he would have probably preferred. His adversity became a door of hope for his whole family. And in the end, his dreams played out just like God had promised.

Caregiving can be a lonely place and it can seem like there is never a light in the end of the tunnel. But just like Joseph we have choices even in our situation. We can choose to forgive, and keep trusting God or we can quit. It's as simple as that. Maybe life isn't playing out like we thought, and maybe our dreams seem on hold. But we have a choice over our attitude and whether we will use adversity to find hope or use it as an excuse to become bitter. Me? I choose to look for the door of hope each day. Some days I have to look harder than others to find the positives, to find hope. But it's there if we look for it.

Today I will meditate on the hope that knowing Him brings. I will purposefully look for the positives today and rest in hope even in adversity. I will set my mind on things above and let God handle the big stuff. I will choose to forgive and I will keep dreaming even when it looks impossible. Will you join me?

Who's to Blame?

I've been thinking about some of my favorite Bible stories the last few days and on Hebrews 11 where we see so many of our heroes of the faith listed. None of them would have been heroes at all had they not faced and overcome some sort of adversity. This week, we'll be taking a look at a few of them. Today, we'll start with Joseph.

The story of Joseph is found in Genesis. His brothers were jealous of him because of their father's favoritism. They also didn't like the fact that he had so many dreams which didn't always seem to be too favorable to them. So they sold him as a slave and told Daddy he died. Talk about sibling rivalry! He spent years and years as a slave in a foreign nation and then was thrown into prison on false charges. But he maintained his faith. He continued to believe and trust in God.

Joseph didn't have a neighborhood church to attend to help him keep his morale and faith intact. Actually, he was in some pretty dark circumstances. There's so much to the story but let's just concentrate on his brothers' betrayal.

God blessed Joseph and He even blessed Pharaoh because of Joseph. After many years Joseph became Pharaoh's right hand man and was a very powerful ruler - Just like his dreams had prophesied. Finally, his brothers came to him because of a horrible famine in the region and Joseph had been given wisdom by God and had a stock pile enough to take care of everyone for the duration. His brothers bowed down before him to request food to live - just like the dreams had prophesied.

Joseph had no bitterness toward his brothers - and personally, I wouldn't have blamed him it he had! He had to have forgiven them to handle the situation as he did. Now, he did have a little fun with them and messed with their heads since they did not recognize him, but there was no animosity in his heart that we can tell.

In Genesis 50 after Jacob, their father had died, the brothers were terrified that Joseph would harm them or try to get them back for the things they did. That's called a guilty conscious, and it made them miserable. They concocted this huge story to try and protect themselves. But Joseph told his brothers that what they had meant for evil - God had used for good.(Genesis 50:20) And he vowed once again to take care of all of them and their families.

The point is that Joseph did not blame anyone, he did not whine and he did not try to get restitution - he let the past go. Sometimes there are people to blame for us being in a caregiving situation. But we must choose to forgive; we must choose not to blame. It will not change the situation and it will only lead our own hearts into bitterness. Like Joseph, we must trust God from where we have found ourselves.

Today I will trust that God has my heart no matter how difficult the walk. I will not blame anyone - but trust Him where I am. I will meditate on His goodness and not let bitterness have even a second to take root in my heart. I will be thankful for His goodness and faithfulness even in the cave. Will you join me?

Feeling Disconnected

Being a caregiver can often mean long hours shut in at home; this can leave you feeling disconnected from mainstream life. There's no doubt that we cannot enjoy some of the "normal" social activities of life but there are days when this can wear on you more than others. With very little social interaction there can come this "social isolation" that just leaves us feeling alone.

When I battle with this type of disconnection from life's normalities, I let my mind wander through some of my favorite Bible heroes who likely felt the same thing at times. I often think and speak of Joseph whose own brothers sold him into slavery to get rid of him - to try and crush his dreams. And then after he maintained his own integrity and held on to God through that type of struggle, he was unjustly imprisoned. Talk about the epitome of being socially isolated! Yet Joseph never gave up on God. He sat for long periods of time in prisons that are a far cry from the discomfort of prison today - and just held on. He refused to become disconnected from his source - God.

Today I am encouraging myself to hold on to Him even in this place free from social interactions. Like Joseph (most likely did..) I have questioned the dreams that I thought He had given me. And you know what? He's big enough to handle my questions. And even though I cannot see the future and I question if I even received dreams from God or not, I do not question His existence. I know Him too well to let Him go...and that keeps me connected to Him.

No matter if we are feeling lonely, disconnected or isolated like Joseph - there is a foundation of God that stands sure - He knows those that are His. (2 Tim. 2:19) Time is no problem for God and He knows we are His. Today I will meditate on this truth - that He knows me. And I will be content with that. Will you join me?

We are All Fruity!

As a caregiver, we can feel fruitless. For many of us, our lives changed abruptly with many dreams left unrealized, leaving us with the feeling that we cannot bear fruit since the picture of our life doesn't look like we thought it would.

An old favorite scripture came to mind this morning as I was thinking about fruitfulness. It's one of those that we sing, shout and proclaim while we think we will never really need it. It is in Habakkuk 3:17-19. I'll let you read it yourself but I think you'll remember it as it starts like this: though the fig tree does not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines....and it ends with yet I will praise Him! It's a clear declaration that whether my field (life) if fruitful or not I will spend my breath praising Him. But as we all know, we don't really think we will ever be in a place to have to force the issue...but here we are. Many of us in circumstances that can make us feel or think that we are fruitless; however, the contrary is true.

Hosea 14:8 ends with a little statement with a huge impact: from Me comes your fruit. And according to John 15 as long as we stay connected to the vine (Christ) we will bear fruit. So this means that the fruit of the Spirit that is listed in Galatians 5 will grow in our lives as long as He is present. No need to despair! As we allow Holy Spirit to continue to have full reign in our lives even in our adverse circumstances, His fruit will remain! smile...that means we are a bunch of fruity people!

A Small Comfort at Last

Please forgive me for being so lax on doing this devotional. I needed help myself for a few weeks. I know you are most likely very familiar with what I call the "caregiver's fog." It can sweep you up and suck you down and leave you in a state of nothingness for days on end. It can fry your emotions and leave you scratching your head barely making it through each grueling day beneath its pressure.But alas...I am finally emerging. I will try to do a better job at keeping my head above and completing this task. My purpose really is to encourage but quite honestly I just have not had it in me! But I'm back now!!

 I think what helped me start the difficult dig out of the hole was the other day someone made mention of a particular scripture and I began talking about it. I was so stirred up it got me to thinking about it and many others on the topic. One thing I have tried to do is to begin to read the scriptures without my old religious thinking...it's very difficult I must say. We've been taught what to think for far too long!

 As I thought about the Word I got all stirred up inside. Then I thought of Psalm 1119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction; that your Word quickens me. I realized no matter what I really am not looking for any help, or any answers outside of His word. No matter how far away He feels to me I still only want His answers for all the dreams I used to have, the wasted years, and the huge whys. The fact that I can still get so stirred up over a scripture lets me know that even though I feel very dead right now - He is alive in me somewhere in there....and that is comforting to me today. So be comforted - He is still Here!

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...