Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

Time intrigues me and I have studied it a lot. Quantum physics fascinates me although I must say I don't understand it. I'm a very casual student of it. Casual in that I don't dive too deep into it at all - but I still find it fascinating. I actually try to avoid the subject because I can get deep into it and lose hours of my day. lol. But during my private devotions this morning, there it was again.

In Daniel 2, the king requested an interpretation to a dream and God gave the dream and interpretation to Daniel. Since it was a life or death situation, Daniel and his friends were praising God for deliverance when Daniel said, And He changes the times and the seasons (v.21 NKJV). I was like times? When did it become plural? I was also reminded of a phrase I had seen in the psalms and found it in Psalm 31.

David says my times are in Your hands in Psalm 31:15. Personally, this is a statement of trust - saying to God that whatever comes while I am walking this journey through time, I am in Your hand. I camped out in this psalm for awhile as it spoke to me today right where I am...in time.

In verse 15, David is ultimately trusting the outcome of his situations to God when he says, my times are in Your hand. Just before this statement, the psalmist says, but as for me, I trust in You O Lord. When I have prayed and placed or acknowledged my times are in His hand it's been a statement of faith, one of complete surrender and trust. Then, David continues with a prayer deliver me from the hand of my enemies.

As caregivers, our enemies are not always physical. For me, it's fear, doubt, uncertainty, and discouragement for starters. These things war at our souls constantly and they can simply wear us down and wear us out. I believe God can help us face those things that war against our souls. God can deliver us from these enemies of our souls as we continue to trust Him.

Today, I will say one more time that my times are in His hand as I continue to trust Him for today. My meditation will be on His peace and the grace He gives to face this day, this spot in time. I'll trust Him to deliver me from fears, doubts, and all the other things that war against my soul, my mind, will and emotions. I'll take each fear, negative thought, and doubt to Him and express it to Him - give it to Him and trust that my times and my soul are in His hand. Will you join me?

Are There Two of Me?

One of the things I've found caregivers must learn to deal with is the wide range of emotions. I'm not even talking about the "big stuff" like depression and the like. I'm talking about the day to day fluctuations of sadness to joy, contentment to unrest. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks they are emotionally schizo. One minute (or second depending on the day) I'm so happy and things are going well, and the next I've bottomed out and feel like a failure as a caregiver. On any given day emotions can vary greatly. My son does something new and I'm full of joy but then the next second I think that I should be celebrating his marriage or his first child instead of the fact he finally touched his nose. Is this just me? 

This morning in my daily reading of scriptures I found something of interest to me in Psalm 108.The first 5 verses or so David talks about how glorious God is. He seems to be full of praise and waiting for God's answer to his prayers. Then his tone changes; and the last three verses are quite different. Now the last verse was a popular song in the 70's church, We sang and sang about how valiant God is and how He was going to tread down our enemies. It was a fun, uplifting song. But this morning I noticed that just two verses back - David wasn't feeling it.

In verse 11, David feels as though God has rejected him. So in just a couple of verses, he goes from Where did you go, God?  to God is a valiant warrior who is treading down my enemy. And just for today - I could relate. One second I feel totally abandoned by God - left alone in this world to deal with a trying situation; and the next I know that it is God who is giving me strength to fight this battle and I can sing His praise. Sometimes I feel like there are two of me - two extremes - extreme despair all the way to extreme thankfulness... and you know what? It's okay. God gets me. And He is beside me as a valiant warrior to defeat my enemies (fear, doubt, confusion....)

So today I will meditate on the first 5 verses of this chapter. I will like David, determine to sing to the Lord and offer up praise - even if it is a sacrifice. I will sing of His loving kindness, mercy and truth. Those things don't change based on our circumstances.  I will exalt Him in my heart and let Him reign over my crazy feelings. Will you join me?

No "Delete" Buttons?

Do you ever wish life had a "delete" button? Maybe even a "do over" button would be nice occasionally. There are times I feel like if I could do some things over I would either change the way I did them or not do them at all! Isn't it amazing that God does not feel that way...ever!

He never wishes He did something differently; and never hopes for do-overs. He knew everything would happen the way it has. He knew my faith would falter when great tragedy struck. He also knew of the times I would be angry with Him and silent before Him. He even knew I would question His existence. Actually, He knew every single question and doubt that would enter my heart and mind in the face of tragedy...but He did not give up on me! He did not cast me away and mutter words of disgust. He simply waited until I came back to the point where I could not live without His touch in my life.

Caregiving can place different levels of demand on us depending on the particular situation. However, no matter how involved it is - from total care to minimal assist - we must admit that our lives look nothing now like they did before. Romans 10:29 reminds us that the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable. He does not have a "delete" button. He will never stop loving us, caring for us and reaching toward us. Even when we are not sure what we believe about Him - He is constantly, consistently desiring to live in us, with us and through us!

So be encouraged today by the fact that God is not going to delete anything! His love and care will never wane...and He's not wanting any "do-overs" - He's simply waiting on you to walk with Him from wherever you are today.

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...