Who's Got Your Back?

Have you ever felt like no one really understands? It seems like it hurts most when it's people who are supposed to be helping. For example, last week my son was up for re-certification in the Advantage program. I was sitting at the table with his case manager and the nurse who will be overseeing his case. They are cutting the hours an aide will come to help because they just don't see what needs to be done. They are cutting the aide from 17 hours to something like 6 or 8 per week. On one hand I could care less because I've found working with an aide to be more of a hassle than it's worth - unless you get a good one.

I was dumbfounded at the ignorance of the situation and I sat and just listened to them talk back and forth about the things the aide is and is not allowed to do. While there are some limitations there are plenty of tasks they can help me with, if they want to. Most of them just want a paycheck. I felt so unimportant and defenseless and very unsure of what to say. (Trust me - I've comprised a lengthy list to have on display now - it will not be an issue!)

Even though it seemed like a small thing I just felt like they didn't understand my situation, but they were supposed to. Aren't they on the team of professionals who are helping me be a good, healthy caregiver? And they don't know? It was one of those moments where as a caregiver I felt so overwhelmed, alone, and like I really don't matter. I felt defenseless and wasn't sure what to do. Should I take up for myself? I'm not one for whining - I am one for just doing. I'll move on without them, even though I shouldn't have to.

We advocate for our loved one probably on a daily basis. But who advocates for the caregiver? No one. I see organizations just trying to save a buck - and I'm frugal so I understand that. But they are sitting there talking about where they can make cuts and save - I felt like it was at my expense.

Then I found Psalm 141:8 where David said My eyes are toward You, O God the Lord; In You I take refuge, do not leave me defenseless. I think I could say that God has the caregiver's back. He sees what we go through and He understands us. The trick is letting it all go and letting Him handle it for us. Caregivers are typically more likely to just roll up their sleeves and get busy and then get busier when the going gets tough. But we must take our refuge in Him. The programs designed to help - are not our help. God is our help and He has our back.

Today I will take deep breaths and relax knowing that God has my back.  And I'll make a conscious choice to rest in Him today. Will  you join me?

She Does What?

This morning I was scrolling down facebook to see what happened in my world while I was asleep and saw a post from Jillian Michaels. She was out catching the premiere of a new movie. I always associate her with fitness and workouts and somehow in my mind she should not be at a movie. She should be somewhere kicking someone into gear and motivating them to get in shape! lol. When I see Jillian Michaels I always think of fitness or working out - her watching a movie did not fit with the image I had in my mind.

I wonder what people think when they think of caregivers. Do they think that that is all there is to our lives? While caregiving for many of us is indeed a 24/7 job, we still have to do our day-to-day tasks just like everybody else - on top of taking care of another person's needs. Caregiving is a difficult and time consuming position, but we still like the things we used to  do before like reading, hiking, running, watching a movie or having dinner with friends. But in many instances these activities are no longer reasonable; and sometimes they are nearly impossible.

How does God see caregivers? We really do not have our own class in His eyes. There's not likely a "special awards" program for us in heaven. *smile* But it is a good thing that He does not see us any differently than anyone else. He cares for us and loves us just the same as everyone else. He does not esteem us any lower than others. It can seem like the world (and church world) forgets about us, leaves us out, or ignores us. But God loves us exactly the same.

Romans 8:35-37 in the New Living Translation says this: Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the scriptures say, "For Your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.") No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us.

I am so glad that His love and care for us does not change with the tides of life. God is the only constant in our crazy worlds. His love for use will not wane or subside - but remains constant. As caregivers we can have crazy days; we really never know what might come up next. But one thing is sure - His love will remain steadfast.

Today, no matter how crazy it might get I will meditate on His constant and consistent love for me. Will you join me?