Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Refocusing


 Is it just me or does it seem like each day gives way to millions of thoughts? They aren't all bad - and that's a good thing, right? It just seems sometimes that there are so many things that happen over the course of 24 hours. My mind sometimes races from one thought to the next. Sometimes, it's dangerous. lol - Sometimes, it's calming. 

Last night, for instance, my son had a mild asthma attack. My mind and emotions went a million directions all at one time as I packed Chris' tube feeding supplies and my coffee pot with coffee pods. (The two essentials for hospital stays!) He was able to kick it, and soon settled into a good night's sleep. 

I wish I could say that I'm in a place where those seemingly little things don't trip me up or send me off the emotional cliff. Maybe you've got it all together, but I'll gladly admit my lack. I wish I had it all together - whatever "it" is. But I do not. What I do know, though, is that each time my circumstances start tripping me up emotionally and mentally, I have the opportunity to refocus. That's not to say it's always easy. Not at all. But once I settle down a bit and realize we lived ...again, then I can get my mind back on how He continues to carry me and my son.

It was so easy last night to give in to fear. I talked myself through all the what-ifs, have you ever done that? Once I walked through them mentally, I thought of all the times He had brought me through. Then, I was able to slowly refocus on His ability to care for me - and the feelings of not being enough, the fears, and what-ifs, began to fade away. He really is our help. (Psalm 121:2) He really is our strength. He really will carry us when we need it. Refocusing on what He can do instead of on what I can't do - brings peace. We are secure in Him.

Today, I will refocus on His strength. I will let my weaknesses drive me to Him so He can share His strength with me. My meditations will be of His sustaining power, of His willingness and ability to carry me. And I'll be thankful for how He watches over me - no matter where I am - home or hospital, or anywhere in between. will you join me?

Always Behind

Just a few weeks ago, my son's case manager came by. She started asking how long each task took and how many times a day it had to be completed. As the list grew longer, I started feeling overwhelmed. I had no idea it takes about 5 hours out of the day just to prepare his food and feed him. I also didn't realize how time-consuming transfers were. I mean, we've got it down to an art and it's MUCH easier than when I first brought him home. But still, an hour or more a day just to keep him dry and move him around? Then there was laundry, talking to various health professionals throughout the week, and tons of other things we didn't even get on her list. I was tired just thinking about it.

I'm starting to wonder if part of the caregiving journey is this feeling of being always behind. No matter what all I DO get accomplished in a day, I feel like I left at least as much undone. It's a daily thing. Maybe I am the only one - but I suspect not.

Feelings of being always behind lead my mind down dark paths of additional feelings of inadequacy, failure, etc. Once my thoughts begin spiraling, somehow everything I ever failed at and every mistake I ever made start surfacing. In just a few minutes I feel like the scum of the earth - lower than worm spit we used to say! But this morning, as my heart began to sink into that abyss, I did something a little different.

As soon as I thought of some shortcoming, mistake, failure or any other negative aspect, I made my mind think of something good that came from it. Then, I thanked God for that. With just a little bit of thought, each instance revealed a positive outcome in me, my circumstances, or whatever. And you know what? I didn't spiral down into the depths of grief or sorrow. I saw each circumstance in a different light when I realized there were positive outcomes even if they seemed as simple as God's grace extended to me, or some lesson I learned through it.

So even though I am "always behind" in my mind - there must be some really good stuff happening in the midst. Today, I will purposefully find gratefulness in the midst of my stress. I will command my thoughts to look past the obvious circumstances and choose to believe He is once again reaching and pressing for that positive outcome in me. My meditations will be grateful ones of His keeping power - His everlasting loving kindness toward me. And with that, I will gratefully trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?


There is a River

Sometimes it bothers me when I hear complaints about it being Monday. It seems to me that on many levels the caregiver's days are all the same. There's not much relief on the weekends and our chores remain the same for the most part with maybe some small changes. I don't think that a day is necessarily bad or good just because of its position in the week. Even in our crazy not-so-normal lives our attitude can go a long way in making a day "good" or "bad." We cannot always change anything about our circumstances and we cannot always find ways to lighten the load - but we can always change our attitude and make the best out of what we have.

We all have days that are better than others but some days seem to bring a lot more of a struggle. What are we supposed to do on those days? Typically my thoughts run to the scriptures when I am overwhelmed, and particularly the psalms. Sometimes what seems like the simplest phrase can bring healing and restoration. That phrase for me today is found in Psalm 46:4.

There is a river 
whose streams make glad 
the city of God,
the holy dwelling places
of the Most High.

I read a scripture or passage and then meditate on what sticks out in my mind. There is a river is what captured my thoughts today. To me a river is symbolic of refreshing; but just standing by the rolling water can help one relax and become calmer. I think we can experience that same relaxation by experiencing the river of God  in our lives.

Caregivers can be operating under a huge load of chores and tasks that it takes to just make it through the day. Minimally, the caregiver can experience the burden of care. Which means that many caregivers may not have to do all the physical chores, but there is still a lot of mental work that has to be done as well as choices made on behalf of another. It can be a large load for any heart and mind. How would we experience this river?

When we take a break and turn to His word we are sitting by the river. When we say a prayer and express how we know it is God who is carrying us - we are sitting by His river. Today I invite you to open your Bible with me to Psalm 46. Feel His refreshing as we read:

God is our refuge and strength
a very present help in trouble
therefore we will not fear,
though the earth should change
and though the mountains slip into the sea
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God
the holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her
she will not be moved
God will help her when morning dawns.

We are God's dwelling place - individually and collectively. He is in us and we can experience the peace of His river even in the midst of turmoil.

Today I will meditate on God's presence in my life; and I will welcome Him. I will turn my thoughts to His peace and let Him bring me the relief my heart and mind needs. I declare today a rest day - and I will purposefully rest in the peace He brings to my heart and life. Will you join me?






Walking it Out

It can be the day-to-day grind that is so difficult for the caregiver. Even though each day can bring it's own set of "surprises" and circumstances, the caregiver's life just goes on. There is often no relief or end in sight. If we are honest, no matter how positive we choose to be and how hard we remain focused, there are times when it seems overwhelming. Our situation can be constant and unchanging. Some have hope of a "better" day while others quite frankly, do not. Joni Eareckson Tada says that disability is just so daily. It's the same for the caregiver - there isn't always a break. It's not as much about learning how to "take a break" in the middle of the journey - as it is learning how to walk it out.

What I mean by walking it out is how we handle the day-to-day grind. How do we respond when pressure rises in an already pressure-filled situation? (I won't tell how horrible my responses are if you won't! - or maybe I'm the only one who explodes now and then!) Sometimes it can seem like we are dealing with thousands of issues on a daily basis - and others forget that there is actually so much more to our lives than just caregiving - even though it consumes our lives.

We have children, grandchildren, aging parents, our own health issues, financial decisions, friends, and perhaps tons of other responsibilities too. How we walk it out says a lot about us and our character.

In Psalm 119:74 says this: Those who fear You will be glad when they see me because I have hoped in Your word. This is how I want caregiving to appear in my life - when others see my walk - they find joy and hope because they see that I have hoped in His word. I don't want them to see the frustration, agitation or craziness I can portray. I hope they can look past all that and see that in the middle of the storm I am clinging to Him, that I find hope in Him.

It seems life is really about learning to trust Him no matter what comes. One hymn said it this way: He is all my hope and peace. I must agree. And even on the crazy days - He is a constant source of peace and hope.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He is my peace - He is my hope. I will turn my thoughts to His peace and put my hope in  Him. "Put" is a verb - an action word. I will focus on actively placing my hope in Him - for He is my hope and peace.

Follow Peace

The caregiver's life can feel anything but peaceful. There are just so many things that have to be done for your loved one every day. For me, my son is not capable of doing anything for himself. That means that I am responsible for doing everything from getting him bathed, dressed, up in the chair, to making sure he is fed. That's all just the start of the day. One way to gain an understanding of what the caregiver does is to think about all those basic things you do each day -eating, bathing, dressing, brushing your teeth, washing your face, going for a walk, etc. But because you are doing for another - you are doubling all of those efforts. That coupled with having to fight with insurance companies, various health providers and aids, can all lead to very not-so-peaceful days.

My Uncle Calvin had a saying that he always used when someone was facing any type of decision or situation - follow peace. Sounds simple, but in real life applications it can be confusing and difficult at best! There's a little three letter word in Colossians 3:15 that might help out a little bit. It says: Let  the peace of  Christ rule in your hearts....

"Let" might not sound like too much - but it is powerful because it's a choice. As caregivers there comes a time when we have to relax control (not an easy task) and let God's peace hold us. It is a conscious decision that we must make. We have a choice - but we must choose to allow His peace to rule. Our other options include being totally stressed out, worried and overly concerned about our overwhelming circumstances. Even though our given circumstances may not undergo even a small amount of change when we yield to His peace - they do become more manageable and less of a burden.

Today I am determined to let go and let God! I'll yield my troubled heart to His peace that passes my understanding. Our circumstances should not be our god; He is our God and today I will meditate on His immense peace and yield my heart to be overwhelmed by His care. Will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...