Showing posts with label Job's friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Job's friends. Show all posts

Where No One Dares to Follow

 


I don't know how long you've been on your caregiving journey, but I've been on mine for almost 14 years. One of my friends is the caregiver for her son who is now in his 40s. Some of you just started on this journey. I'm still a newbie compared to many others! 

There's no doubt that the caregiver's journey is a lonely one. The social isolation is often unbearable. Yet, we adjust. BC (before caregiving) I was super social. I went a lot. I fellowshipped a lot. I traveled miles and miles. But for the last 14 years, all of that has been limited. 

Others often try to encourage us or cheer us up. But very few are willing to go where we go. Recently, I had a long-time friend who wanted to take me out. At first, it was just for a date. Then he decided he wanted us to spend the day together. I enjoyed our day together, but he has no idea all the hoops I had to jump through. lol. I get other invites from time to time, but I don't answer many of them.  What I don't have is people willing to follow me down this road. 

Have you looked up and realized that no one came with you? Maybe they wish you well. Some pray for you. Most are truly compassionate and concerned. But few dare to follow. We often give Job's friend a bad rap. They were horrible once they started talking. lol. But before that, they came. They saw. They were not prepared for the depth of grief and sorrow they saw their friend enduring. 

Job 2:12 says they lifted their voices and wept. They were so overcome, that they sat for seven days and seven nights in silence. They deserve kudos for showing up, and for being there for their friend. 

Maybe you're like me and you've looked up and realized that no one has dared follow you down this road. There may be a few watching from a distance. Many are likely praying for you. But oh for a friend who can follow you down the caregiving road. If you are like me (and hopefully you're not) and you've realized people just can't endure watching our struggle, I have good news. Jesus has followed you every step of the way. As a matter of fact, He continues to take each step with you. Sometimes, when your strength gives out, there are no more tears, and you think you can't take one more step - He will carry you. 

Today, I choose to focus on the God who is present. I choose to turn my eyes to the One who is not afraid of the journey. My eyes will be on the One who will never abandon, the One who will never just watch from a distance. God is not afraid to be a part of our stories. I will thank Him for staying on this road with me, for carrying me, prodding me, and sharing His strength with me for this journey as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                       


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The Power of Silence

Last night I was reading up on a new blog and it was talking about the power of being silent. The writer was discussing pain and adversity and how sometimes there is simply nothing to say and it's okay. This got me to thinking about Job's friends and how when they heard of his distress they came and just sat with him. They didn't say a thing, which we learn later was a good thing! But they just sat and mourned with him in his time of loss.

When my son was first in the hospital I had a friend who did just that. She flew in and came and just sat. I was staying in his room with him as he was in isolation there was room for a couple of chairs. She just sat with me for 4 days. There really wasn't anything to say to make it better....but she was there.

What caregivers find out way too soon is how fast people can just disappear from their lives. When they don't know what to say, or don't know how to make it better, they silently walk away. But it's quite alright to just be there - even if you're silent.

As I was reading I started thinking about a couple of scriptures that match up with this thought. The first one of course is Psalm 46:10 that says Be still (or quiet) and know I am God. And the other one is Deuteronomy  6:4 that says Hear O Israel, the Lord is out God, the Lord alone. In my mind (I haven't researched it yet) Be still  and hear are the same. They are both saying - stop what you are doing for just one minute and listen. 

As caregivers our lives can be so hectic; a single day is filled with all sorts of related tasks we barely have the time to breathe sometimes. If we can get our insides quiet - we can hear Him. He's still there. He's still waiting for us to come to Him - like always. He still loves us. He still wants to hold us - we just have to be still.

Did you ever try to hold a toddler who had other ideas? They wanted to go get this toy, or grab that snack. You can barely keep a wriggling toddler in your lap for just a short bit before they are off to something more exciting. I wonder if caregivers are like toddlers in that we forget to just be. We have so much to do (but we do for real!) that even if we try to be still for a minute our mind is racing about all the things we have yet to do. But there's power in being silent and still.

Isaiah 30:15 says that in quietness and confidence our strength. I'm picturing myself like a little kid all crawled up and snuggled into His lap right now.

Today I will purposefully quiet my soul before Him. I'll let Him hold me and heal my soul. My meditations will be on His peace and His caregiving of me. I will direct my thoughts to how He continues to love, listen, and care for me. And I will be silent as I let His confidence and strength fill my being. Will you join me?





The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...