I do not have to describe the huge emotional swings caregivers can experience even in a matter of minutes. And when we do have those moments when we are really down - who is there to help us up? Sadly, many of us suffer silently and alone. This just makes the process of working ourselves back out into some sort of hope - even more difficult. But it's do-able...
To be totally honest - I have been on the downward side of things of late. It's been more difficult than usual to try to get my head back up above water so I could breathe again. And I think I still have a ways to go. This morning I was thinking of Psalm 13 - O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? (It is somewhat comforting to see that a person He used to write the Bible felt the same way I do!) How long will You look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? (NLT) I can honestly say I feel this way during those long, dark nights when my loved one is ill and I feel so hopeless and helpless to offer help.
Sometimes it seems like God does not hear us - and if He does it seems He is ignoring us. But as I started climbing out of the deep dark emotional hole I gave way to some other thoughts. Perhaps we have had it backwards - thinking that God is there at our every beck and call. But who in their right mind would think in a natural kingdom that the king was there for them...but they are in the kingdom to serve the king - not the other way around. Perhaps we are supposed to be available for His every beck and call...
Think about some of the scriptural references - there are many where man called out to God indeed. But how many more are there where God reached down and called an individual - not the other way around. It certainly helps me sort through this deep valley of emotions to think about being here for Him - and knowing that He is a gracious king! Today - let us focus on being here for Him and treating Him as our king...one we gladly serve.
I was thrust into caregiving when my son was in a tragic accident but soon found that there's a whole world of "us" out there! Many times we find ourselves alone. Even the church can disappear quickly and good friends distance themselves because our world has changed. But God does not change with circumstance. My faith is what has carried me through and these devotions will hopefully help us all make one more day - encouraged in Him.
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