Skip to main content

With or Without Words

When Jesus came to Gethsemane, His first response was to pray. Then in Mark 14:33 these words stuck out to me this morning: and He began to be very distressed and troubled. How could that be? Jesus told the disciples repeatedly to not be troubled, yet we read here that He is in deep distress. Did He contradict Himself? Of course not!

He told the disciples that were with Him that He was deeply grieved to the point of death. And then He began to pray. There are a couple more things that stick out to me here. One thing is that He told those close to Him how He felt. As caregivers, we do not tend to do that very much. For the most part, we are the ones carrying the load and in many cases we are walking it alone. Sometimes there may not be anyone close enough to tell that you're having a difficult time, are depressed or overburdened. Other times, we just cannot admit our weakness as we don't want others to think we cannot carry the load - we have to be strong for those we are caring for, right?

How could Jesus make Himself that vulnerable? Because He was going to go past them. He simply told them how He felt crushed underneath the burden He was soon to bear to Calvary - and then went past his "friends" and straight to the Father with His prayers. And you know what? He prayed that the pain would pass...He asked the Father to remove it. How many times has that been the cry of the caregiver? But we are in good company. Jesus did not have His burden removed. He submitted to the master plan of the Father and endured the cross on our behalf.

When He came back to the disciples, He found them asleep. He asked them if they could not pray with Him for just one hour...wouldn't it be great to find someone willing to pray with the caregiver for an hour? I think of the few times when friends have taken the time for even a quick prayer with (or for) me and how much it meant. I have a couple of friends that are very good about that actually. They ask me some hard questions to find out how I am really doing. When I tell them my concern of the day - they say, "is it okay to pray about that right now?" Of course! It means so much for someone to take that time to call or to say that quick prayer...maybe we should start a "prayergivers" network for caregivers! lol

Jesus then tells the disciples that He really does understand for the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. And then you know what? He went right back to praying! I'm so thankful for this reminder today. It doesn't matter how sleepy everyone around us might be - we can continue to go to Him in prayer. And what about those days that we just don't have it? Caregivers understand that there are those days when your body, soul and spirit are just too tired to go on. But we do it anyway - there are certain things that just have to be done regardless of how we feel; or if we no longer feel. But in those moments of despair remember that first of all - we are in good company! And He can hear our heart's cry - with or without words.

Today I will meditate on the nearness of God. I'm thankful that Jesus does not snub me for my despair or distress - He understands and holds me closer. I'll meditate on this closeness today and pray from my heart for strength to make one more day of the journey.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living Grief

 As caregivers, many of us deal with daily grief and a constant sense of loss. Even though we don't feel these emotions all of the time, they do keep coming back. For me, mine is often sparked by seeing something on my Facebook feed. I'll see one of Chris' friends or a memory and it'll tip my emotional bucket right over. Living grief is one of those things the church doesn't know how to deal with. Well, honestly, who really knows how to deal with it? It's not just going to go away, now is it? :-) In some hyper-faith circles, grief is pretty much forbidden. Yet even under the old law, it was allowed room. If you lost a close loved one such as a spouse, parent, or sibling, you were given an entire year to mourn. Our culture allows a little time, but then we are expected to be back at work, back at church, or back to our daily lives after a very short time. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other. But living grief continues. When we deal with parents wh

The Best Meeting

  I know I've written quite a few times about Hagar, but her story intrigues me. I think I can relate to the rejection and loneliness she must have felt. In numerous devotions, I've talked about how God met her right where she was. She did have God "find" her twice. But there are other people in the scriptures that God met too. The list is a bit longer when we start thinking about how many times God met someone along the way. Twice He came and ministered to Hagar, He met Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), He met Balaam and stopped him before he sinned against God (Numbers 22). Jesus went through Samaria on purpose  to speak with the woman at the well. He crossed two taboos in their time - going through Samaria and speaking to a woman! (John 4) He walked out to the disciples in a storm in Matthew 8. And the Angel of God came to Gideon when he was hiding from the Midianites in Judges 6. It's easy for today's religious thinkers to label these Bible characters

But I Have Today

Do you ever have days that are just heavier than others? Of course, you do - who am I talking to? Saturday was Chris' 37th birthday. For some reason, it was unusually hard as I thought of where all his friends are today. You know, married, having kids, and enjoying their careers. I cried more than once that day. I grieved over what should have been, what could have been.  I hugged him a little tighter and thought about the progress he's made recently. The other night, I am certain he "sang" to me after I got him in bed. It was the sweetest thing and I posted it in his Facebook group where I share things I don't feel I can share as "publicly." He's moving more and initiating more of his movement on his own. There are many things to rejoice about. At the same time, I am getting older. My joints hurt and I wonder how much longer I can take care of him. I fear the day that I won't be able to. This is the way the rest of my life looks, and I am okay w