It seems like this is what Asaph was doing as he penned Psalm 77. He was at his wit's end, a place the caregiver lives. We mean something entirely different from the rest of the world when we say we are livin' on the edge! Even on a good day it only takes one phone call, one mishap or one small change to topple our worlds. In this psalm, Asaph pours it all out before the Lord. Asaph went so far as to say when I remember God, then I am disturbed;when I sigh,then my spirit grows faint. (v.3) In the next verse he says I am so troubled I cannot speak. I have to admit that I've had many days like that. I've been so distraught that there are not even the right words to form into a prayer. What do we do when we are so overwhelmed with the tasks of caregiving? What do we do when we don't see God doing anything on our behalf?
It seems this is precisely where Asaph was; he was praying but not seeing God at work. These are the times when we can start reminding ourselves of the things we know God has already done. Asaph spent the rest of Psalm 77 listing the things he knew God had done, simply reminding himself of how he had seen God work before. In verses 8 and 9, Asaph asks if God has ceased being compassionate and gracious. Has God forgotten His promises? Has He withdrawn His hand from my life? These are all common questions for caregivers who find their lives have turned upside down. But starting in verse 11, he starts with I will remember....
Asaph shifts his focus from his present distress and focuses on the things he has seen God do. We see this shift in verse 11 - I will remember the deeds of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will meditate on all Your work and muse on all Your deeds. And he then begins to list the things he knows God has done. This can be a powerful tool in the hand of a caregiver.
Today even if I don't see God doing anything specific in my life, I will meditate on the things He has done in my life. I will purposefully refocus my thoughts and heart on His ever abiding presence. My thoughts will remain on how He has given peace, walked the valleys with me, offered wisdom for decisions that have to be made. I will meditate on His love, grace and mercy that never changes toward me. Will you join me?