Daily Devotions for Caregivers

I enjoy reading the last few chapters of Job where God takes over the conversation. In chapters 38 to 41, God takes the time to describe creation from His point of view. There are many questions that God asks of Job during this passage and we all know He isn't looking for "information." He already knows the answer - He is measuring Job's response. In Job 38:12, God asks Job if he's ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to arise in the east.  Then in verse 19, God asks, where does the light come from and where does the darkness go?   Put this with Psalm 104:19 where it says the sun knows where to set; and you have a full day orchestrated by God. The sun never "rises" and forgets which way to go. It is so designed and set in place by God. He started it in Genesis and nothing has been able to interrupt the process. Except for that one time on Joshua's behalf where God caused the sun to stand still. Day and night continue the way G...

If there is one thing I have learned since I became a caregiver it is to be open and honest with my feelings. I learned that God is big enough to handle my "real" feelings - there's no need to "protect" Him. People I had more difficulty with because you're never sure how someone is going to take what you say and how it's going to affect them. Over and over I've had people tell me that they appreciate the openness and transparency with which I write. But it didn't come easy for me. Maybe I just figured I didn't have anything to lose; or perhaps I just got too tired to filter everything any more. Who knows? I've been open and honest with God for a lot longer since I figured He already knows what I really think , so why would I try to hide my emotions or thoughts from Him? But being open with people has been another story. I have trust issues for sure - and I'm not denying that. Actually, this openness that I am just discovering is som...

I love reading the Psalms and particularly enjoy the ones written by David. He seems so open and honest with his feelings and doesn't typically hold anything back. David doesn't worry about what everyone else might think about him, he just lays it all out there. Sometimes it can seem like he goes from one emotional extreme to another all in one psalm. That's something many caregivers are very familiar with. Each day can bring a wide range of emotional challenges and changes until we start to think we are losing it for sure. But we are in good company it seems. In Psalm 31, David makes a lot of "I" statements. In the first few verses, David is declaring his trust in God. He says some things like: I have taken refuge (in You) I commit my spirit (into Your hands) I trust in the Lord I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness These are some very powerful declarations and worth grabbing a hold of in our own lives. They are perspective changing  de...

Before my caregiving days I functioned in many roles in the church. As a youth pastor I taught the young people scriptures like Jeremiah 29:11 - that the Lord has good plans for them - for health and a future. Sometimes on the other side of caregiving, or even during life's strongest trials scriptures like this one can become muddled. If God has good plans for me, why is this happening? His intentions for us never  change. My mind goes back to the Children of Israel. God told them in Leviticus 22:33 that He brought them out of Egypt to be their God . And He said in Exodus 34:14 that He is a jealous God. The New Living Translation interpreted this verse to say He is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.  God's desire to have a relationship with His people has never changed; and is not likely to make a sharp turn over 2000 years later! God performed mighty miracles to bring His children out of Egypt's bondage. But it was not an easy road after that - they ...

Sometimes it bothers me when I hear complaints about it being Monday. It seems to me that on many levels the caregiver's days are all the same. There's not much relief on the weekends and our chores remain the same for the most part with maybe some small changes. I don't think that a day is necessarily bad or good just because of its position in the week. Even in our crazy not-so-normal lives our attitude can go a long way in making a day "good" or "bad." We cannot always change anything about our circumstances and we cannot always find ways to lighten the load - but we can always change our attitude and make the best out of what we have. We all have days that are better than others but some days seem to bring a lot more of a struggle. What are we supposed to do on those days? Typically my thoughts run to the scriptures when I am overwhelmed, and particularly the psalms. Sometimes what seems like the simplest phrase can bring healing and restoration. T...

Sometimes I hate it when people tell me "you're so strong." It's not because I don't like to be complimented, but more that I really don't feel "so strong." I also feel like the statement is left hanging like they meant to say "you're so strong compared to...." what? It's like in the back of their minds they think they couldn't handle caregiving. In reality none of us probably set it as our life goal; but it was handed to us and we adjust the best we can; and they would too. We are all very adaptable. Maybe it bothers me because I feel anything but strong - I feel so weak. The caregiving journey has helped me to see and deal with my weaknesses. There's nothing like the caregiving role to reveal all those weak areas. Even though I feel very vulnerable and weak, I have learned how to rest in His strength. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul was asking God to take away his "thorn in the flesh." There has been much argumen...

Have you ever had someone tell you that because your loved one wasn't healed you lacked faith? Sadly enough, I have. Yet if we look at all our Bible heroes we'll see that we admire them because of the trials they endured. Each of them give us a picture of how to trust God in adversity; and how to keep faith during intense testing and trials. Adversity is actually the true test of faith. It's in the midst of the trial that we find out just how much we trust God. Can we trust Him when our lives are less than perfect? The caregiver's life is definitely "less than perfect" if we compare it to others. For some of it caregiving can mean that we are locked up in our own little cave unable to get out and about. For others, there may be some getting out - but there's not quite the freedom we see in the rest of the world. Caregiving can complicate everything on a variety of levels. We can't use the struggles of caregiving to measure our lives. We also cannot u...

The last few days we've been looking at three men of faith: Job, Noah, and Daniel. These are three of my Bible heroes along with many others. But these three men are mentioned together in Ezekiel 14. Twice, the Lord told Ezekiel that if Noah, Daniel and Job were in the land they would be delivered through righteousness. They couldn't "delver" anyone else, but they would be saved if the land was destroyed. I have spent much time pondering why He listed these three men. What happened to Abraham, the friend of God ? What about David, the man after God's own heart? Why not Moses, the one with whom God spoke face to face as a man speaks to his friend ? What made Job, Noah and Daniel's stories so unique that God said these three men could deliver their own soul by their righteousness? Their situations were not similar, neither were their trials. Actually, all three faced difficult adversities of very different types. Like the caregiver has to do many times, they ...

All of our Bible heroes faced some type of adversity. The stories about how they overcame or endured that adversity is what makes them our hero, isn't it? Noah is among those listed in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11. The writer reminds us that was warned by God about things not yet seen.  Noah took a huge leap of faith to obey God and began building the ark. He faced his own circumstances and lived in a generation of people who did not believe him. As far as we can tell no one helped him build the ark and no one stood with him. According to Genesis 6, Noah lived in a very wicked generation; he most likely lived in a very lonely place. The caregiver can live in a lonely place too. In many ways, even if we are able to get out some there are times of isolation. When we do have the joy of getting out it can look so much different than others. For me, it means dealing with my son in his chair. In some settings, that can be isolating enough - no one knows what to do with us; so they d...

I can't even begin to imagine what Job went through. If you go back and read the first chapters of Job you'll see how he lost his children, his wealth and sustenance, his possessions and even his health. Sometimes I read Job when I think I can't handle anymore. Early on in my caregiving journey (and sometimes even now) I feel a great sense of loss. I had rid myself of my possessions and was headed to the mission field when my son was involved in the accident. When he was going to be released to "go home" I had nowhere to take him. Add that to losing who he was and I dealt with a heavy sense of loss for a long time. I compensated for the losses I felt by buying anything I wanted. I'd see a movie, a book or a piece of furniture I liked and I'd buy it. It took me some time to realize I was making purchases and other allowances in my life to try and make up for the great loss I felt. I say that to say only on a very small scale can I begin to understand the ...

When I first brought my son home I could not transport him by myself. Due to the head injury, he was very stiff and  sometimes wouldn't bend once you got his stood up. This made it difficult to get him in a vehicle. Add to that the fact that I was inexperienced at transfers and let's just say we stayed home a lot! Eventually, I was able to get a handicap van and we enjoyed a brief amount of freedom. It was short-lived as the van is very old and needs a lot of work. Presently it sits in a parking spot outside my apartment. I'm pretty much stranded. You might say I am a captive in my own house for the most part. I do have the option of public transportation and use it a couple of times a week. Even though I sometimes feel like a captive in my own house, it's nothing compared to what others like Daniel have gone through. In the first chapter of Daniel we find the story of the captivity of a great number of Israelites. He found himself in great adversity. He was: Held ...

Jesus spoke some powerful words in John 14:27. He was instructing His disciples about what to do after His departure. He explained that Holy Spirit would come and help them. I'm not sure the disciples were quite ready to live life without His up-close-and-personal presence. We all enjoy those times when God's presence is almost tangible. It's the times we can't  feel, hear or sense His presence that are the toughest. Jesus offered these words for His disciples and for us: Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. Even today He offers us a peace beyond our understanding. The caregiver's world is oftentimes anything but  peaceful! There are so many  needs...  and so many questions like "How am I going to handle______?" I'm sure you can fill in the blank with any number of things like finances, transportation, or other decisions that sometimes have t...

Today I am reminded just how hectic the life of a caregiver can be. We might ought to apply for a juggling gig with all the things we have to do some days. We have to make and keep doctor appointments, work with aides and therapists, order supplies, stock supplies, pick up medications from the pharmacy; and that's all on top of the "normal" daily chores that have to be done like bathing, feeding, cooking, pureeing foods and just taking care of another whole adult body. Add to that some of the "normal" activities like babysitting grand-kids or shopping for groceries and you can have a pretty hectic rat race going on. Thankfully even though our days are typically full, they are not always all that busy and full. Change is a constant friend. Psalm 46 describes some physical changes in the earth like mountains moving and shaking, and the earth being removed. Even though our physical world is not undergoing changes that drastic, as caregivers we live in a changing ...

David wrote the first 7 verses of Psalm 32 in first person. He is speaking to God, acknowledging his faults and thanking God for forgiveness. In verse 7, the psalmist makes this statement: You are my hiding place, You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. This he finishes off with a "Selah!" Which simply signals the reader to stop, reflect on what was just said and take a moment to think about its depth. Even though verse 7 is a powerful reminder that God is with us, providing shelter and singing over us even in the storms of life - it's the next verse that catches my eye. In verse 8 there is a total switch and God is responding to David. He says: I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. God says He will instruct us, teach us and counsel us.  We don't have to wander through life like we are trying to find our way out of a deep, dark forest. He ...

I have read story after story by caregivers who feel like they are carrying the responsibility all alone; and in too many cases, they are. Caregiving can be a lonely walk. Not only are there limitations when it comes to outings, friends don't really know what to do with your new lifestyle either. They don't realize that your likes and dislikes didn't change when you became a caregiver. Did you like playing cards or going to movies before caregiving? Then it is likely that you still do. But sometimes those outings are no longer practical and in some cases they are not possible. You are the same person but your social scene may have changed. This can add to the loneliness that many caregivers experience. The good news is that even when you feel all alone - you are not. I find myself returning to a favorite passage in Isaiah 43. It says something like this: When you pass through the waters I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. Whe...

In 1 Peter 4:11, the apostle tells the reader that when we serve we are to do so with the strength  which God supplies. He also says that the final outcome of serving others is to see God glorified.When I first became a caregiver I could not see how God could possibly be glorified . After all, I was headed to the mission field to work for Him. I dealt with a lot of frustration when my "life" as I knew it was disrupted by caregiving. Our illusion has been that the only way to serve God  is to work in "the church." If you don't teach Sunday School, lead worship or preach surely you are not serving Him. Caring for our loved ones is a demonstration of the love of Christ to the rest of the world. John 15:13 quotes Jesus as saying, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We as caregivers offer a true picture of faith, love and compassion. In many instances, the caregiver has sacrificed their own lives in order to pr...

1 Peter 2:23 tells us that when Jesus suffered He did so without "uttering threats." I take it that He didn't yell back at His accusers or tormentors. He didn't tell them what He could do to them; and He suffered in silence. I can honestly say that I have not  done that! I've said some pretty harsh things through this furnace and particularly during those really long nights. The load can become so heavy for caregivers that we speak from our pain or frustration. Many times, we don't really  mean what we say - but in many cases, they are things that should never be uttered. Jesus, our example, did not speak out of turn, out of pain, and offered no complaint. He simply entrusted Himself to Him who judges righteously.  Caregivers deal with constant pain and grief in many cases. If we follow the example our leader gave us - we are constantly presenting our pain and our situation to our Father. And we must let Him judge. Those who are on the outside of the Caregiv...