Okay is an in-between term that lies somewhere between really good and horribly bad. Maybe it actually signifies a balance in our lives for the moment. It's actually a fair answer to a very difficult question. We can also use it when we just really are not sure how we are doing for the moment. What caregiver has time to check to see if they are okay or not? Sometimes when I get up I might consider my energy level and assess how I feel; but we don't have time to think about if we are okay or not - we have to get going there is so much to get done and really how we feel is irrelevant.
I think of the story in 2 Kings 4 where the prophet had prayed and blessed the Shunammite woman with a son. When he died she went right out to find the prophet. Elisha's servant ran ahead and asked how she and her family was. Even though her son had just died, she said, "It is well." In today's vernacular that would be about the same as It's okay. Yet her son had just died, so was she lying or was it a statement of faith? Sometimes just saying I'm okay takes great faith.
By the time the woman got to the prophet her true feelings were displayed. She fell at his feet and he recognized the anguish in her soul. Then she spoke from the pain she was bearing. Are you ever worried that someone will "push the wrong button" and you'll just spill your guts? That someone will hit just the right nerve and you'll start saying what you really think and feel? We can stay guarded all we want but sometimes there is a deep pain or grief that remains unspoken. I'm okay really is the best answer sometimes.
It doesn't mean you are lying or weak of faith. It means you are holding on for one more day. To say I'm okay also means you are not acknowledging defeat but are pushing forward and continuing to move in a positive direction no matter what the circumstances look like. It's not a negative statement at all; but rather an acceptance of yes I can do this. It might be the most positive statement filled with all the faith in your heart.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I'm okay. I will think about how God has my back and how together we can handle anything life and caregiving brings. My thoughts will be on how God pours His strength in me so I can care for another; and today I will think about how He has not left me alone on this journey. My meditation will be on the truth that He equips me for the journey and because of His strength, grace and mercy in me - It really is okay. And that's a good place to be. Will you join me?