I'm Not Super-Human?

Caregiving can consume us so much that others and ourselves forget we have other things going on in our lives. Since I started on this caregiving journey I've become a runner, a writer and a grandma! I have another adult child who can really feel like she lost her mom in the deal. And what's frustrating to me about it is that I can't do a thing to change it.

We have started having a mother/daughter weekend every year around her birthday; and we got to make a trip to Indianapolis recently to attend a good friend's wedding. She helps me out a lot and I watch the grandkids sometimes to help her out.

Today she's having a surgical procedure and I can't be there with her. It is certainly not because I don't want to be there for her, it's because there's no one to sit with my son during the week. Even the help I do have (paid or not) have other responsibilities and jobs. Of course, I don't even have an aide right now (one of our chief frustrations). And so today my heart is torn in two wanting to be there for her but being stuck in what can feel like a prison at times.

So what is a caregiver to do when they feel their heart is being torn in two? For me it's run right to the Psalms. This morning when I woke up I started out praying for my daughter and her family. Immediately my heart started singing a psalm we had put to music years ago. It goes like this:

Hear my cry O Lord
Attend unto my prayer
From the ends of the earth
Will I cry unto to You
And when my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to the rock 
That is higher than I - that is higher than I.

Today I need to be led to the rock that is higher, stronger and wiser than I am! The odd thing is that it's not the caregiving that weighs the heart in situations like this. It's the other life-things that make the journey so difficult. There have been many such situations over the years where I've felt trapped by caregiving. But we adjust, remind ourselves we are not super-human, we cannot be everywhere all at once; and move on.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He holds my heart in His hands. I will think about how He will strengthen me and keep me through this bump in the road. My thoughts will turn to resting in Him and letting Him fill me with peace; and I will wait on him one more time. Will you join me?

Comments

Post a Comment

Our Most Popular Posts

Find a New Hobby for These Surprising Benefits

Image
   Hobbies can help us connect to our creative side, spend quality time with our loved ones , and boost confidence, and, as EverydayPower.com notes, they can also promote mental and physical wellness . Whether you’re learning something new from a class or taking the initiative to tackle a project at home, practicing a hobby can improve your quality of life enormously. Looking for something fun to do with a friend or loved one?   Here are a few suggestions when you’re ready to find a fun new hobby to try:   Choose something that boosts your health   It can be challenging to take care of your overall wellness at times, especially when you’re busy taking care of family obligations. Learning to focus on your physical and mental health needs is much easier when it’s fun, however, and that’s where a hobby comes in. Look for one that helps you get active , such as a yoga class, or consider starting a walking group or joining a local organization that allow...
Read more

But I Have Today

Image
Do you ever have days that are just heavier than others? Of course, you do - who am I talking to? Saturday was Chris' 37th birthday. For some reason, it was unusually hard as I thought of where all his friends are today. You know, married, having kids, and enjoying their careers. I cried more than once that day. I grieved over what should have been, what could have been.  I hugged him a little tighter and thought about the progress he's made recently. The other night, I am certain he "sang" to me after I got him in bed. It was the sweetest thing and I posted it in his Facebook group where I share things I don't feel I can share as "publicly." He's moving more and initiating more of his movement on his own. There are many things to rejoice about. At the same time, I am getting older. My joints hurt and I wonder how much longer I can take care of him. I fear the day that I won't be able to. This is the way the rest of my life looks, and I am okay w...
Read more

No Get Out of Jail Free Cards?

Image
  Do you ever feel like life just doesn't let up? Sometimes it seems like caregivers should get some sort of exempt card. You know? Something that lets us stay in the cave without having to deal with all the craziness that's going on in the world. Well, it was just a thought. I guess there are no "get out of jail free cards" in life. A pandemic rages on and we didn't get an exempt card, did we? Political and civil unrest didn't qualify us for one either. We have to deal with all the craziness in the world plus our caregiving responsibilities. Isn't caregiving enough? Dealing with aids who don't show, people and family who do not know how to help so they avoid us, and the traffic of health care professionals of all sorts is enough for any given day. Yet it happens over and over again. How do we stay sane?  Caregivers are resilient - we just keep going. Every night I go to bed feeling like I failed. I didn't get enough done. It's easy to focus on...
Read more