My eyes were just drawn to it and I began meditating on it, and it became my prayer. You see this morning, like most mornings, I woke up with my huge "to do" list running full speed in my head. As usual I got up, made coffee, changed and bolused Chris, then sat down at the computer trying to figure out where I was going to start on the long list of work I have to do for clients.
Then I thought about just skipping devotions since I have so much to do today. Chris has therapy, I started a new class and I have tons of work to get done. I'm tired already, *sigh*. But I decided to take the time to put first things first and this scripture all but jumped off the page at me. I really do need to hear His lovingkindness. But how do you hear lovingkindness, especially when your heart and head wakes up in fast gear?
I paused to think about what the psalmist must have meant by hearing His lovingkindness. Maybe it's going to be different for each person, but for me, hearing His lovingkindness in the morning means knowing and acknowledging that He is giving me what I need in the morning to make it the whole day through. And then the next phrase for I trust in You.
So this morning, I pause to intentionally hear Him. I listen to His heart telling me His mercy and lovingkindness are here with me today to help carry me through all I have to get done. And then once I really hear that in my heart - I accept it because I trust Him. And all of a sudden, I don't feel so alone or overwhelmed - because I trust that no matter what I do today, or where we go, His lovingkindness will be carrying me.
Today I will keep my mind on his lovingkindness. I'll rejoice that He is with me on this journey and never leaves me. I'll remind myself that He is just as committed to the journey with me - as I am to the journey with my son. and I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?
Yes, Jeanie...I will join you; I need to hear His lovingkindness too...I need to feel Him close beside me; I need to KNOW He is there for me as the enemy onslaught continues to sound in my head and yell at my back...I NEED HIM more today than yesterday and I needed Him so much even yesterday. I am not handling this very well today or yesterday or the day before.ReplyDelete
Please say a prayer or two or three for me...I NEED THEM!
Thanks for sharing with us. I just published this today but read it earlier and did pray for you. It can be so difficult to hear Him in the "noise" of our day. But I pray He fills you with His strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I wish I could just say "it'll get better" but as caregivers we know it's not true and platitudes really don't mean a lot. I'll continue to pray you find peace in the midst of the storm.
Thanks for reading,
Trying to hear Him this morning but my grief is louder . Its close to thanksgiving and my wife loved this time of year. She would always no matter if we had family in town or not fix a meal fit for a king. The kids are coming so I cleaned out a door in the kitchen to put medications in . Loretta has so many cool kitchen tools that I have no idea how to use. I cried as I put them in a box knowing she will never be able to use them in any meaningful way. She like your son suffered a catastrophic head injury. I have lost my best friend and soul mate. But I will listen all the more for the one who will give us the strength needed to hopefully not just get through the day but have the joy of the Lord. Thanks for your devotionals and for listening to a fellow griever.ReplyDelete
To my fellow griever. I'm so sorry. While I don't understand exactly how you feel since my grief is over a son and not a soul mate I do have an inkling of an idea and can relate.Delete
The holidays are especially hard because of the memories. The grief never seems to go away and "special occasions" seem to make it worse...if that's possible. I pray you find peace and comfort during this time and even a bit of joy. I actually felt guilty at first if I relaxed enough to "enjoy" a special event. But now I just try to make the best of them - I try to relax enough to invest in others who are there - I don't neglect my son - he's there and hopefully he gets something out of hearing the familiar family voices...I just try to capture the moments I have with other family members. It's good your kids will be there. I hope you can reconnect with them and have a peaceful time with them even in the grief.
Thanks for reading,