The thing is for caregivers that many of the "normal" occurrences of life are on top of an already heavy load. Aging parents, sick relatives, other tragedies and stuff.... life...still happens. It doesn't stop just because we are caregivers. It can be overwhelming sometimes. It is important to note though - that good things happen too - we still have grandchildren, a phone call from an old friend, unexpected gifts or even the kindness of a stranger - can brighten our day too. The point is that life simply does not pause and wait for us....it continues on - with us.
Good and bad happen all the time in the world and maybe it's just me but I can be emotionally exhausted at any point during the day. Let's face it - caregivers live high octane lives. There is always something...isn't there? What would a real day off look like? Who would even know?
I was actually thinking about all of you yesterday and praying for those who have made contact with me through Facebook or this blog. All of our stories are similar and yet very different. No matter what our caregiving journey looks like it can wear away at our souls and we can get tired. As I was praying I just had this thought that God knows.
Now on one hand, just the fact that God knows is comforting. By my crazy mind says if God knows, why doesn't He do something? I meditated on that and mulled it around all day yesterday. And I'm okay with it today. There are several scriptures about God knowing exactly what we are facing here's a couple of them:
Psalm 44:21-For He knows the secrets of the heart
Jeremiah 12:3 - You know me Lord, You see me...
Luke 16:15 - but God knows your hearts
John 10:14 - "I know my own and My own know Me"
2 Timothy 2:19 - The Lord knows those who are His...
Somehow it was a comfort to me yesterday just to know that He knows all about my crazy life and thought processes. He knows the fears I have of the future, He knows when my days are overwhelming - and He knows that in my heart I trust Him even when I don't understand. He knows those days I never say a word but would really like to just give up and quit....does anyone relate?
He is fully aware of all the thoughts, feelings and emotions that lie in the deep recesses of my heart and mind....and He loves me anyway. It does not make Him repel me - it makes Him pull me close to Him.
Today I will meditate on the truth that He sees my heart - and still chooses to hang around. I'll meditate on how He really does understand me - when I don't understand myself. I will turn my thoughts toward His heart which watches over mine... I will trust Him for one more day - I will rest in Him on purpose and I will remember to breathe. Will you join me?
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