I think for me it has come down to verse 6 of this psalm. It says: May those who wait for You not be ashamed through me, O Lord God of hosts; May those who seek You not be dishonored through me, O God of Israel. That's been my prayer not just for my life since I've become a caregiver - but BC (before caregiving) too. I've wanted my life to bring God glory - and still do.
Every caregiver has their own situation, but for me it was a sudden thing when my son, Chris, was in an accident. I have shared how I felt faith had failed me and because of my associations with the faith-ers movement I felt like if I had had faith this tragedy would not have happened. I also felt like my trust in God had failed. After all, I had trusted Him to take care of my kids and He let me down. The feelings associated with a perceived failed faith - are devastating.
Over time, I've learned that faith did not fail me - it sustained me. I am not needy, I am not weak, I am not lacking in faith, I am no less the Christian because it seems my life stopped to deal with this situation - I'm actually right where God dwells. And I like that.
On down in verse 35 of this same psalm David says this: God will save Zion and build the cities of Judah. First of all, I don't need saving so I wasn't sure how to apply this to my life.
Psalm 9:11 says Sing praise to the Lord - Who dwells in Zion. And Judah has always symbolized praise. Let me see if I can get my thoughts right here. God lives in Zion - a symbol of the NT church and we are His dwelling place as believers. So God lives in us. He lives with us - we are Zion.
The second part of this verse says God will build the cities of Judah. My interpretation (loose though it may be) is - He will establish praise where He lives. And He lives - in us. Right here, right now wherever we are - He is establishing praise in us. This means that as we are crushed in the crucible of life the sweet fragrance of His presence which dwells in us - will bring Him praise. Those who see us struggle with life's issues will be encouraged. Our lives don't bring Him shame - we bring Him honor.
Today I will meditate on trusting Him. I'm going to turn my thoughts to how He dwells with me - and in me. I will think about how everything I do for my son brings Him praise. I'll purposefully look for how He establishes praise in my life as a caregiver. I won't fight the song - I'll let it arise today. Will you join me?
Thank you for this. I have been trying since October to retire to be a fulltime caregiver to my elderly mother who has Alzheimer's. Just found out this week, my retirement was not approved...which threw my faith in discernment of God's Will for my life into the fire. Although disappointed, I must remember I am right where God wants me. Hard to accept sometimes, but I know he has a purpose and reason.ReplyDelete
Hi - thank you so much for taking the time to share part of your journey with us. It can be so confusing when we get things worked out in our mind but then they don't work out logistically like we planned. But He does always have our back! I know it's got to be disappointing for you and I hope it all starts to work out for you soon.ReplyDelete
Thanks so much for reading and sharing!