Skip to main content

He Never Gives Up

As a caregiver, emotions can be all over the place. I find that one second I'm feeling okay about everything, I have a positive outlook and I am ready to take on the world. The next second for no apparent reason, I'm upset, mad at the world and ready to call it quits. On everything. One second I'm in love with God and so thankful that He continues to strengthen me to do what I need to do; the next second I'm angry with Him for letting this happen. This can all be in a matter of a few minutes, or seconds depending on the day.

But you know what? None of that scares God off. As to this date, He has never thrown up His hands, said I can't deal with this anymore and walked away. People have told me that "not everyone can handle a large dose of you." Seriously - I was told that, by my mentor. Add things like that to living a life so totally different from the rest of the world and it's easy to have an identity crisis.

One thing that caregivers have to deal with and face is the fact that not everyone can make the journey with us. And for me, my heart hurts for my son too. Why? Because friends can only be friends if nothing changes. On one hand - it's totally understandable - he can no longer "contribute" to the relationship, right? He can't laugh, play, tell jokes, make his deeply philosophical statements anymore. So there's nothing.

For the caregiver, our lives are different than everyone else's too. Maybe we can or can't freely do things the rest of the world does - and many walk away. Or my favorite - they watch our lives from a distance, totally disconnected.

On both counts there can be such a sense of abandonment and alone-ness that swallows us up whole. It's not an easy journey to make alone, or with someone else.

I say all this to share a scripture that came to mind this morning during my devotions. I actually was looking at Joshua 1:8 about being of good courage. I read it in my NASB, then looked it up in the Message. And here is what I found a few verses back:

I won't give up on you;
I won't leave you. (v.6)
Strength! Courage! 
Don't be timid; don't get discouraged.
God, your God is with you every step of the way. (v. 9)

While this whole passage spoke deeply to me this morning - that one phrase I won't give up on you is what really got my attention. No matter who observes from a distance, because they don't know what to do if they get closer; no matter who walks away from us or our situation - for whatever reason - God will not give up on us!  He is in it for the long haul; and that is exactly what I needed to hear this morning.

Today I'm going to meditate on His determination to be with me on this journey. I'll think about how He does not get too frustrated at me, never throws up His hands and never quits because I'm too much for Him to handle. My thoughts will be on how He is pleased with me, loves me and carries me even when I am being stubborn and resistant to His grace. He patiently waits for me to settle back down and come back to Him for peace. Today - I will be re-positioning myself in His lap; and settling in His embrace. Will you join me?

Comments

  1. So true Jeanie. Loretta my wife has life long friends I am talking 45 years and they just walked away. We do have a few friends who send a check every month which is an enormous blessing. But (and I am not complaining here) money is the easy thing to do. Doing the hard thing, taking the journey with you.Not many folks willing to do that. And it is a long lonely road to traverse alone. My emotions are just under the surface ready to bubble up at the least little thing. I also find I have little tolerance to stress and it eats away at you. Exercise is my greatest outlet but its hard to be consistent because my needs come last. Good stuff Jeanie Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  2. Relationships post trauma are complex, aren't they? I've been surprised by who has been willing to walk this journey with me, and who has not. I think the fact that my son's friends pretty much abandoned him hurts more. On one hand, they are young - or were when the accident occurred; so I can give them that. But it certainly makes me think and re-think relationships and friendships.

    Are we just "friends" as long as there is give and take - or can we continue to love and care for someone if they've lost the ability to communicate effectively - or at least in the way we were used to? I also wonder what difference it might make for my son if he could hear his friend's voices once again - the familiar....but I can't wait much time on what could be...

    Sorry I rambled - just to say our emotions can so be all over the place, can't they? Exercise has been one of my big outlets - I can proudly say I'm a half marathoner now because of this! :-)

    Learning to balance it all out can be a challenge- but I have to believe it's possible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have to believe it too Jeanie. I am learning things about myself both good and bad. Being a man I had a lot of eggs in the work basket. I prided myself on providing for my family. Now I feel so insecure in the fact that I cant earn a living and care for my wife. Someday that may change but for the time being it cant. She needs so much care and there are no good options I could live with. Also my wife was the relational one. I never put much effort into friends or relations outside of my marriage. I was married to my best friend and we pretty much did everything together . I loved hanging out with my wife. You know I even enjoyed shopping with her. Loved watching her model different outfits. I don't know maybe that's weird but it worked for us. Keep up the great work Blessings from team Carter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally hear you on learning things about yourself. I'm a mom and I want to "fix" my son and protect him - and I can't.The social aspect is such a difficult area we have to deal with - the social isolation can be so trying.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Seasons Are Temporary

  This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t

The Practical Side of Caregiving

 This week, I've been reading the book of Acts. I am enjoying the journey of the early church. Can you imagine what it would be like if your church saw 5000 people saved in a day? Mass chaos would ensue as leadership tried to figure out how to serve that many people! It'd be great and difficult at the same time - kind of like caregiving. Lol. But yesterday, I got stuck in Acts 9 thinking about a practical caregiving issue. In verse 32, we read that Peter was traveling around and encouraging all the new believers. He came to the town of Lydda. Verse 33 says in the NLT, There he (Peter) met a man named Aeneas, who had been paralyzed and bedridden for eight years. Now, the next verses talk about how Peter proclaimed healing, and the man just got up! That's so amazing. But my brain got stuck on some of the practical parts. Aeneas was paralyzed and bedridden. My mind compared the situation to my son, of course, even though he's not "paralyzed." I started wondering