God restored Job's health and wealth and he went on to have more children. I thought about that for awhile. Just because he had 10 more kids doesn't mean he didn't miss his first set of kids. These 10 didn't make up for the loss of his first children. He had still raised them and loved them and his memories of them were still in tact.
On my caregiving journey I have good days and bad days. I have pictures of my son BC (before crash). Some days when I see them, they tear at my heart. I remember how he was and see him as he is. Other days, I enjoy the memories we made and honestly wouldn't trade for having had the opportunity to make them. Most days I miss him too much to express with words. Even though it's different now - I still love him - he's my son. Adding another son - would not replace him or the spot he has in my heart.
It can be easy to look at the end of Job's story and think it all worked out perfectly, and on one hand it did. But the loss of his children was never erased. Our losses as caregivers don't just disappear when we have a good day. A lot is really up to our attitude and how we take on the new while carrying the old. Every day is an opportunity to be swept under by our emotions and the struggles we face; or to rise above them. Some days, I have to admit, I do well to keep just the tip of my nose out of the water to keep from drowning. Other days I adjust well.
So with Job still on my mind this morning, I got up and opened my Bible to chapter 42 one more time. Then I decided to look up the meanings of the names of his daughters. Jemima was Job's first daughter after his trial. It means beautiful as the day. His second daughter was named Kezia and it means fragrant as a perfume. And his third daughter was named Keren-happuch which means child of beauty. He could have named them anything - and these are the names he chose. I think it's significant.
The names of his daughters were all focused on beauty. Even though he must have grieved the loss of his other children, he focused on the beauty of these ladies. It seems to me that Job was looking at the beauty of the moment instead of the pain of the past. Job embraced the new and moved forward positively.
For me, the pain of the loss of the past can be haunting, but today I will try to let it go. I will think about the beauty of the moment instead. I will meditate on the works I see God doing in and around me today and not focus on the losses endured. My thoughts will be on His restoration and His protection of my soul, and I will rest in Him once again. Will you join me?