Skip to main content

The True Battleground

Does it ever seem like you are just truckin' along and everything is going great when BAM! Seemingly, out of nowhere your thoughts start running away with you? Maybe it's just me, but that totally happened to me this morning.

I got in my recliner, coffee in hand, Bible in lap, all ready to read a bit. I'm cruising through the Psalms and hit chapter 81.  In verse 11, God has noted that His people are not listening to Him. They stubbornly pursue their own desires. And by 14 He says if they would listen to Him - He would subdue their enemies.

That's when my mind went nuts on me. My initial response was something like - so if I get myself together and really pursue God - really listen to Him He sill subdue MY enemy? My greatest enemy in my thinking is a brain injury. Well, if God could "subdue" that - my life would be so much easier. And from there I got mad once again because I don't figure God's going to swoop in and take the TBI away.

But as I kept rolling some thoughts around and trying to get un-mad at God again, I realized the TBI isn't my worst enemy. My enemy isn't even life. We understand the life of a caregiver is not easy and every day brings difficulties  needing to be worked through. Everything is complicated, even the most basic of our daily chores like cooking, eating, bathing etc. It's all complicated and it can get to the place where it nags at us chipping away at our faith and trust in Him. That's when I recognized my enemy.

It's not a TBI that I honestly do wish was not there, but it's in the day-to-day grind of living life as a caregiver that chips away at my faith. Trying to control my thoughts and battle against depression can be an enemy. I want to trust but life can be so frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I've honestly wanted to blame God and throw my hands up in the air to give up on my faith. I have these weak moments when I feel as though I am totally overcome by life. And that chipping away at my faith, the eroding of my trust in Him, battling the crazy thoughts that go through my mind - that's the enemy.

As difficult as it is, and as simple as it sounds - if I can turn to Him one more time - He can help me conquer these enemies. He knows I cannot conquer them on my own - and He is not going to let me get swallowed up by them. All He is waiting for is for me to give up the battle and try to trust Him for one more day. And that I will.

Today I will focus my energy on turning my heart to His. I'll listen for His subtle voice and try to shut out the craziness that tries to chip away at faith. My thoughts will be on how He can crush these enemies of my soul, and one more time I will wait for Him. Will you join me?


Popular posts from this blog

Caregiver Burnout is Real

  Do you ever just get too tired? Do you ever want to quit? Do you ever sit down for a whole 30 seconds and think about not getting back up? Ever? Who am I kidding? Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to. Lol. As caregivers, burnout is real. But the problem for most of us, is we don't get a break even in the midst of burnout, right? Let's face it. If we had a bit more help we might  avoid burnout - but once we feel that we are in a season of burnout and stressed out - there's still no help. It's easy to feel stuck. I try to do a few things to avoid burnout and to cope. Someone told me one time that I had learned how to live even in the midst of the situation. I think she was right. I have learned to slow down and enjoy an afternoon cup of tea (or coffee!!!). I try to get outside as much as possible because sunshine and fresh air are essential to a healthy life. Some days that means sitting on the patio so I can see Chris in the recliner through the window. But I'

Part of the Crowd

 I took Chris to our local minor league baseball team's game yesterday. I must say I give the ballpark an A+ on accessibility. The parking guys pointed me to a handicap spot right near the gate. And from there, I just rolled him in and found our accessible seating - which just means a chair beside an empty spot for the wheelchair to fit in! It was great. He could see fine and even though it was a bit loud at times - it wasn't too loud for him. What joy fills my heart when I find things to do that are positive. As we sat and watched the game, we became part of the crowd. We were all watching the game and cheering on the home team. We had one purpose - besides being entertained, and that was to support the local team. We all cheered when our guys made a play. We hooped and hollered when one of them stole a base or hit a home run. It was so amazing to be part of something bigger than us - to be part of the community.   It made me think about the crowds who followed Jesus and the w

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i