So Far So Good

Yesterday I lost a family member and somehow I think grieving losses like that are maybe not "more difficult" as a caregiver, but more complicated. If that makes sense.

Many caregivers, myself included, live with what is called a living grief. That basically means we grieve the loss of our loved one - but they didn't die. They are here - but they are not here. It's a grief that doesn't allow for any closure and it's ongoing. Then when you add any more grief on top of that - it's a very heavy load to carry. Fortunately, I know the Lord and I can take all my cares to Him and drop them off! (I know, that's not KJV!)

This morning I was sitting, drinking coffee and staring at the wall as it was all sinking in. I thought about not doing a devotion - I needed on myself. lol. I opened up an email and saw this scripture which was exactly what I needed to hear today. It's 1 Samuel 7:12. Samuel has just become judge in Israel and the Children of Israel had just torn down all the idols and returned to the Lord with a whole heart.

The Philistines approached and were hoping for a quick slaughter. But God had other ideas. Now Samuel was a judge and a prophet, but he did not know natural warfare. He could not lead the charge. God knew this - but I believe He saw the hearts of the people turning wholly to Him, and He applauded. Only to the Philistines it sounded like thunder and they got all confused. In the confusion, God and the Israelites wiped them out that day!

Then comes verse 12. Samuel sets up a large stone and named it "Ebenezer" which means stone of help. And then he said, up to this point - God has helped us. That just clicked with me this morning. Up to this point in my life, God has been my help. And as I face another day of caregiving and a season of grieving - He will still be my help.

My loose translation of that is so far - so good!  God has been my help, He is my help and He will continue being my help. Now that I can hold on to for today as I turn my heart wholly to Him and do the real work - resting in Him.

Today I will remind myself of God's ever abiding presence. I will acknowledge His help throughout my journey and use it to remind myself that He's still here for the rest of the journey as well. So far God has helped me - and He has no other intentions just because my world got rocked again. My thoughts will be on how I can rest in Him and how I can let Him be my help, my source, my everything. And just like all the other days - I'll trust Him. I'll wait for Him. I'll rest in Him. Will you join me?