Then on the work front, I need some extra money for a trip my daughter and I have planned for next weekend so I need to pick up a couple extra projects.... more time involved. Juggling who gets work done first (after my full-time job commitment).... should I even try to sleep? lol Welcome to Grand Central Station of the Busy Mind.
I'm dedicated to getting back to my morning devotions though, so this morning I opened my Bible to where I left off yesterday morning, Psalm 73. My eyes went straight for the last verse and I just camped out there. Verse 28 says this:
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all Your works.
I have thought a lot about the first 2/3 of this verse and how good it is when God draws near. And how much better it is when I recognize it! The second part rings true in my heart too, having made Him my refuge for life. But sometimes it's easy to forget the third part - that I may tell of all Your works.
As a caregiver, I live in His refuge. I'm not sure there's another way to do it. Honestly, there are days I still struggle with anger over how He could have let this happen to my son. But overall - I always run back and let Him tuck me back up under the protection of His wings. Like David, I always return to that secret, intimate place. He is near, He is my refuge.
But that last third - that I may tell of all Your works. Sometimes I forget to focus on all He's done. It's easy for my mind to focus on this living grief, and the heaviness life has brought, not always so easy to see what He is doing in the midst. But I think this last thought is just as important as the other two - to tell of his works.
This means I need to take a minute to think about what He has done - not the ways I feel He has failed me. So here's a brief list of some of the works of God in this caregiver's life:
I've seen His divine provision - never missed a meal
He has NEVER left me - even when I was a brat!
His peace is tangible at times
He's reassured me that our souls are protected in Him...we are never lost.
His word still speaks to my heart...and always will
He gives me strength to face each day
Holy Spirit still teaches me - I'm not a lost cause!
His word is deeper and richer than I could have imagined
He still nurtures me and cares for me...
He still gives me songs
He remains faithful...
He is still my rock...my hiding place
He has not moved.
He has not changed.
His throne is forever...
These are just a few of the things that came off the top of my mind. So today, I will let this be my meditation. I'll focus my thoughts on all his works. My thoughts will be on His faithfulness, His strength and His watchful care rather than my circumstances. I'll train my thoughts to stay on Him today as I trust Him for one more day - will you join me? What will you focus on about Him today?
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