Broke, Broke, or Broke?

You know how caregiving days go. Even though there's nothing easy about it, some days are good, some are better and a few are downright rough. There can be a number of reasons for a rough day. It might be physically rough, mentally rough, emotionally rough or a combination of any of those plus any number of other reasons. Yesterday, I just felt broke. I'm learning to take it all to Him. He's not afraid of my broken state.

Yesterday, I was thinking about how broken I was and in the process I realized there are three basic types of "broke." I can be financially broke - which thank God for His provision - I am not. I can be broke - like not working and needing to be fixed broke. Or I can be broke - like broken before God, humble and broken.

I'm in the middle of a challenge called the psalmist challenge. I designed it myself as part of a project I'm working on. For 30 days I have to take a few minutes to play, sing and pray. So far, every day I have written a short poem or song at least. It's interesting what we can hear when we tune our ears in. So I decided to take my "broke" self to Him. But did He want it? Would He turn me away because my life felt ugly like people do?

I thought of the scripture in Psalm 34:18 that says The Lord is near the brokenhearted and I wondered if it had any defining qualifications on it. Is He near me if I feel like I'm broken and cannot mend? Is He near me if I am broken emotionally and feel like I can't move on or take one more step? Or is He near me just when I am humbly bowing before Him overcome with His presence? Is He near me when I feel spent, exhausted and done? I'm thinking it's "D" all of the above.

God is not afraid of my broken state. He doesn't shun me when I am riddled with fears. He won't cast me aside when I am overcome by the daily rigors of caregiving. When people avoid me because they don't know what to say - He draws close. Broke, broke or broken - none of them scares Him, and He draws near.

I am not entirely sure which the psalmist is talking about in this verse. He goes on in verse 19 to say there are many afflictions for the righteous. I'm avoiding the next part of that verse as it says the Lord delivers them out of them all. You and I both know He's not riding in on a white horse today to carry us away. So what does that mean? Contextually, I believe it means He rides through it with us - carrying us all along the way. Those steps we don't have the strength to make - He makes for us. He doesn't remove everything and make life all hunky-dory, but He does endure it with us and carry us through it.

So, no matter if we feel broke, broke or broke, He draws near and He beckons for us to draw near to Him. He's not afraid of our broken state. He won't turn and look away because of the pain like people tend to do. He walks right up to us in the midst of the fiery trial and says, Come near. He will pull us right up to Himself just like a father gently holding a hurting child. He brings comfort. He will not abandon.

Today I will meditate on His nearness. I'll turn my thoughts to how He longs to hold me near to His heart when I am hurting the most. My thoughts will be on how He picks me up, brushes me off, holds me, and is walking through this with me; even carrying me when need be. I will rest in the fact that He is present - ever present. And I'll trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

Here is the video of the short song I wrote yesterday about how He draws us near whether we are broke, broke or broke. Come Near.

Caregiver Burnout is Real

Do you ever just get too tired? Do you ever want to quit? Do you ever sit down for a whole 30 seconds and think about not getting back up? Ever? Who am I kidding? Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to. Lol. As caregivers, burnout is real. But the problem for most of us, is we don't get a break even in the midst of burnout, right? Let's face it. If we had a bit more help we might avoid burnout - but once we feel that we are in a season of burnout and stressed out - there's still no help. It's easy to feel stuck. I try to do a few things to avoid burnout and to cope. Someone told me one time that I had learned how to live even in the midst of the situation. I think she was right. I have learned to slow down and enjoy an afternoon cup of tea (or coffee!!!). I try to get outside as much as possible because sunshine and fresh air are essential to a healthy life. Some days that means sitting on the patio so I can see Chris in the recliner through the window. But I'

Part of the Crowd

I took Chris to our local minor league baseball team's game yesterday. I must say I give the ballpark an A+ on accessibility. The parking guys pointed me to a handicap spot right near the gate. And from there, I just rolled him in and found our accessible seating - which just means a chair beside an empty spot for the wheelchair to fit in! It was great. He could see fine and even though it was a bit loud at times - it wasn't too loud for him. What joy fills my heart when I find things to do that are positive. As we sat and watched the game, we became part of the crowd. We were all watching the game and cheering on the home team. We had one purpose - besides being entertained, and that was to support the local team. We all cheered when our guys made a play. We hooped and hollered when one of them stole a base or hit a home run. It was so amazing to be part of something bigger than us - to be part of the community. It made me think about the crowds who followed Jesus and the w

Ups and Downs

Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Daily Devotions for Caregivers

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