Each day brings different challenges depending on the level and type of care we are providing for our loved ones. For me, one day my son is pleasant, easy to work with, eats well and is alert. The next day (or moment for that matter) his body can be rigid, stiff and he can be uncomfortable and upset. He might even sleep all day.
Situations with agencies change constantly too. Yesterday, a nurse shows up without calling and announces that she's Chris' new nurse. (I liked the other one of course.)One month I get supplies, aides show up and I get some help. Other times, nothing seems to go right. As caregivers we learn to use what we have from where we are - adjust, adapt and advance! It becomes the norm after awhile and is really no big deal.
So this morning I was letting all this run around in my head and I thought - there's just nothing constant in my life. Friends change, aides change, companies change hands, jobs change... life is in a continual state of change. But God. He remains the one constant in my life. He has not changed one iota since the day of my son's wreck.
This took me back to my days of teaching math. In Algebra there will be variables and constants. Variables change - you never know what they may be. You can plug anything in for a variable for any reason at all. That's those confusing x's everyone complains about. Then in a problem, you'll also have a number. That's the constant. It will not change no matter what you do to the problem - you can count on it to still be what it was when you started. If you get confused - you can erase everything and go back to that same constant and variable. No matter what variable you use - the constant is still be the same.
I started thinking about how my life has changed - and continues to change. There are many variables coming into play. But no matter what - God is that constant - I can count on Him to remain, no matter what the variables do. No matter how "messed up" a day gets - I can always go back to the constant. If I make tons of mistakes, get out of control or just lose it - I can go back to Him because He is that constant.
His love doesn't change. His mercy doesn't change. His presence doesn't change. The fact that He is with me does not change, period. He is constant. I can count on Him to be the same. Always. The task at hand becomes shifting my focus from the variables, the things that tend to change constantly - and focusing on the Constant that never changes.
Today, I'm going to shift my focus off all the things that constantly change around me to His constant love. My meditations will be of Him and the bare truth that He doesn't change - my situation cannot change Him. I'll turn my thoughts to how He remains with me...always. He's not looking for a way out. I'll take life's algebra problem with it's many variables back to the one constant, Him. I'll remain right there rejoicing in the truth that He remains. Period. And I'll let that thought carry me as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?
I come to this devotion because you GET it. It's been a bit of a rough week for us - you read my mail in your second paragraph (insert grandmother for son), and I'm beating myself up little that after all my years with Him, and especially on Good Friday I still have to be reminded, that it's still not 'automatic' with me, to count it all joy and know that He's with me throughout. I can hang onto it long enough for an "amen" to a devotion, then when I head into the day, and the fiery darts start to fly, the truth I know dissipates. So thank you for posting your meditations. I hope it helps you to know how they help me.ReplyDelete
Leslie, it does help to know the devotions help someone. At the same time, I'm kinda sad that others do relate. I guess the reason I started them in the first place was because I couldn't find anything "real" enough for me. I was (and am) dealing with real issues everyone else seemed to skirt around or ignore. The pain is real. The ongoing grief is real.I felt condemned for being real about how I felt so I started this one where I just laid it all out there.I found out there were real caregivers who struggled with some of the basics just like me. I also found other people in difficult situations could identify with some of the struggles with faith etc. So even though I'm sad you do relate, that you do have to go through some of the same stuff, it does help me to know it helps.Delete
Thanks for following along, for sharing - and for reading.