Skip to main content

Adjusting my "I Will"

I wasn't really looking, but I found myself in Psalm 7 this morning. I'm not for sure, but I may have found every caregiver there too. :-)

Work is super busy and I'm trying to plan a getaway for this weekend so I had my morning all planned out and was going to do this devotion a little later in the day. Honestly, I'm not sure why I was even thinking that because after the day gets roaring there's not hardly time to breathe. It turned out to be a thought that didn't matter as my Bible fell open to Psalms this morning and captured me.

Sometimes as caregivers our thoughts and emotions can be all over the place. One second we are fine, the next second we are crying, grieving, and lost. But then, we wipe our eyes and our nose, get back up, roll up our sleeves and get right back to work. I call that resilient. Maybe David gave us a glimpse of ourselves in this short psalm.

He opens up the psalm with a simple prayer for protection. I come to You for protection, O Lord my God, save me....he begins. It may be only in my imagination, but it seems stark fear sets in between verse 1 and verse 2 - maybe he thought, what if He doesn't save me this time?  Because he then goes into what may (or may not) be a frantic thought - If you don't....I'm going to be mauled like a lion and torn to pieces. Well, how many mornings have caregivers thought that? God be with me today -- if you're not - I think I'm going to die.

After his prayer - and a bit of fear, I find the next 4 verses almost funny, only because I relate. David repents - just in case. And says basically, if I'm guilty then let my enemies capture me and trample me to the ground. Then he shifts gears once again - Arise O Lord! 

This is my day in a nutshell. Prayer. Fear. More prayer. Repent (just in case). Prayer. It can seriously be a vicious cycle - asking God for help to make it through the day, wondering if He really will, fearful of what happens if He chooses not to - and back to a prayer of total trust. We see that in the last verse as David cycles through all the emotions and lands on a point of praise. Praise always wins!

In verse 17, after he's run through his emotions, the strength and wickedness of his enemy and his fears, he ends with an I will......

I will thank the Lord 
Because He is just.
I will sing praise to the name 
of the Lord Most High.

I can't tell you how many mornings, afternoons, evenings and in-betweens I've worked through this cycle. Maybe you have too. We don't deny the emotions of caregiving. We don't act like it's easy, or it doesn't hurt, or it isn't real. We just bring an open, honest heart before our God and say - here I am to worship......still.

Today I will get my "I will" in order. I will stop and just thank Him. I will sing His praise - not because I live a pain-free, easy, life - but because He is worthy of praise. My meditations will be on Him - and not my surroundings. I will shift my focus onto Him instead of my not-so-normal situation and I will let Him carry me. I will rest in Him and trust Him for one more day - will you join me? What is your I will for today?

Comments

  1. Thank you for your perspective, as always. Although my caregiving position has ended and life will become "normal"(?), I will keep reading as led, as I was today, my first day back to work. Already I see there are still MANY nuggets to be gained for me here.

    I WILL listen to the Holy Spirit in finding HIS desire for the time I've 'gained'. Thank you Jeanie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Leslie, I'm glad you got a little something out of the devotions and I'm extremely happy that you're going to be hanging around, even if "from a distance" so to speak. There are readers who are caregivers, but a lot are also just "going through" struggles in a variety of areas. I do hope you have been able to relax and I pray your transition back to work and "normal" (whatever that is! lol) is peaceful and fulfilling!!!

    Thanks for reading!
    Jeanie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Seasons Are Temporary

  This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t

The Practical Side of Caregiving

 This week, I've been reading the book of Acts. I am enjoying the journey of the early church. Can you imagine what it would be like if your church saw 5000 people saved in a day? Mass chaos would ensue as leadership tried to figure out how to serve that many people! It'd be great and difficult at the same time - kind of like caregiving. Lol. But yesterday, I got stuck in Acts 9 thinking about a practical caregiving issue. In verse 32, we read that Peter was traveling around and encouraging all the new believers. He came to the town of Lydda. Verse 33 says in the NLT, There he (Peter) met a man named Aeneas, who had been paralyzed and bedridden for eight years. Now, the next verses talk about how Peter proclaimed healing, and the man just got up! That's so amazing. But my brain got stuck on some of the practical parts. Aeneas was paralyzed and bedridden. My mind compared the situation to my son, of course, even though he's not "paralyzed." I started wondering