When I go through times like this, there isn't really a place to throw up my hands and quit. It's not like caregiving is a job and we can turn in our resignation because we got upset, hurt or mad. We just have these spots to navigate through from time to time. I remind myself that there will be better days. And there will be worse days. It'll all level out.
During these times, I try to force myself to go back to the basics. I've already spent the time bending God's ear about all I'm upset about. It's okay - He knows my frustration, why I'm upset, how deeply I hurt, how angry I am (even at Him) - I'm not telling Him anything He doesn't already know.
So many times, there aren't any solid answers. It's not like a jigsaw puzzle you can find the last piece for. It's not like a crossword where you're left to find the right words and fill in the blanks. It's more like a maze and the further you get in the more confusing and difficult it gets. I've learned that when this funk settles in a walk back through the basics is about all that helps.
I don't know much right now, but I do know these B2B (back to basic) truths:
- circumstances do not dethrone God - He hasn't moved
- nothing can break the force of His love - He still loves me
- I can't do anything to scare Him away - He is still with me
- Life doesn't throw enough stuff at us to break Him - He still fights on my behalf
The foundation of God stands firm, the Lord knows those who are His.(2 Timothy 2:19) I know I am His. He's not wringing His hands trying to figure out what He's going to do with me either. The Lord waits on high to have compassion on you. (Isaiah 30:18). What's He waiting on? Maybe He just needs me to be quiet for a moment and hear Him.
Can I do it? Can I get all this gush of emotions to settle down for a minute and get still in His presence? Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10) Going B2B reminds me that He is still God - He will never not be God of the nations. God of creation. God of mankind. God of me. God of my emotions. Now it's up to me to make Him God of my thoughts.
Today, I will purposefully rejoice that He is God. I'll go back to the basics and find the place in my heart to be still and just know He is God. My meditations will be on the truth that He hasn't moved, He still loves me, He is still with me, and He will fight on my behalf. And with those truths held high in my heart and mind, I'll roll up my sleeves and face another day! Will you join me?
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