Where You Running To?

This morning I figured out why I'm a runner. Initially, I started running when Chris was in the hospital. I stayed there with him 24/7 and needed so move about more as I had been very active before his accident. I didn't have a printer, so I hand copied a beginning running plan off the internet. It took me three weeks to work up to the first week of the plan. (Can you say "out of shape"? lol)

Once we moved to the nursing home, I got up each morning and went for a walk or a run and soon I ran my first 5K race. I fell in love and I guess the rest is history.

It's been part of my way of dealing with the constant grief and pain of caregiving. But I also enjoy it. There really is a runner's high and I look forward to feeling better after my run. My mom is coming today to stay for a few days so my dad has a break. This means double duty for me and not as much running. I do have a treadmill so I might be able to run a bit, but she needs constant supervision and my treadmill is on my patio - might or might not happen.

As I got up this morning and started to prepare for her visit, I was thinking about running and not running. And I thought, why do I run, why am I a runner? My immediate answer to myself was, I run to Him.

When emotions overrun me - I run to Him.
When caregiving is heavy - I run to Him.
When I'm not sure what step to take next - I run to Him.
When the bills are due and money is short - I run to Him.
When living grief tries to swallow me whole - I run to Him.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower -

the righteous runs to Him and are safe.

Proverbs 18:10

I'm running on the outside - but on the inside I'm running straight to Him. I think in my mind, I'm like a hurting child running and jumping into the arms of my Father. Other times, I feel like I'm running to Him and crumbling at His feet underneath it all. Either way - when we run to Him, He never turns us away. He lifts us up in His arms and comforts us, strengthens us and carries us for as long as it's needed.

Today, I will run to Him again. I'll bring all my pain, my grief, my weariness - to Him. My meditations will be on how He meets me right where I am with no condemnation, no guilt trips, no questions. He simply meets me and holds me. And from there, I'll trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Caregiver Burnout is Real

Do you ever just get too tired? Do you ever want to quit? Do you ever sit down for a whole 30 seconds and think about not getting back up? Ever? Who am I kidding? Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to. Lol. As caregivers, burnout is real. But the problem for most of us, is we don't get a break even in the midst of burnout, right? Let's face it. If we had a bit more help we might avoid burnout - but once we feel that we are in a season of burnout and stressed out - there's still no help. It's easy to feel stuck. I try to do a few things to avoid burnout and to cope. Someone told me one time that I had learned how to live even in the midst of the situation. I think she was right. I have learned to slow down and enjoy an afternoon cup of tea (or coffee!!!). I try to get outside as much as possible because sunshine and fresh air are essential to a healthy life. Some days that means sitting on the patio so I can see Chris in the recliner through the window. But I'

Part of the Crowd

I took Chris to our local minor league baseball team's game yesterday. I must say I give the ballpark an A+ on accessibility. The parking guys pointed me to a handicap spot right near the gate. And from there, I just rolled him in and found our accessible seating - which just means a chair beside an empty spot for the wheelchair to fit in! It was great. He could see fine and even though it was a bit loud at times - it wasn't too loud for him. What joy fills my heart when I find things to do that are positive. As we sat and watched the game, we became part of the crowd. We were all watching the game and cheering on the home team. We had one purpose - besides being entertained, and that was to support the local team. We all cheered when our guys made a play. We hooped and hollered when one of them stole a base or hit a home run. It was so amazing to be part of something bigger than us - to be part of the community. It made me think about the crowds who followed Jesus and the w

Ups and Downs

Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Daily Devotions for Caregivers

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