Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Better Set That Watch!

Today is one of those days. My prayer this morning has been "set a watch over my lips, Oh God!" I'm stressed out beyond belief. My fellow caregivers understand. Everything has piled up and it takes very little to feel like you're falling off the edge into an abyss of emotions and struggling with depression.

I love caregiving for both my son and my aunt, but there are those days when it seems overwhelming and it's not one particular thing you can put your finger on. My humanness shows and my cape is missing. lol

Things pile up. We get tired. We feel lost, cut off from the rest of the world and like no one understands where we are or what we have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

This morning I was praying for the Lord to guard my heart and my lips. I looked up the scripture and found it in Psalm 141:3. The New Living says it this way: Take control of what I say, Lord and keep my lips sealed. I backed up to read the previous two verses. David was calling out to God and spoke my heart. He prayed O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to You for help! Boy, do I feel that one on this day. Lord - please hurry - I need You to come to my rescue!

As you read the rest of this psalm, David is asking God to save him from his enemies. In verse 8 he says, don't let them kill me! David feared for his life and perhaps I cannot relate to that. But I can relate to feeling like my emotional life has been sapped, drained and left for dead.

When I can't feel anymore - I can run to Him. As David said in this psalm, I look to you for help... You are my refuge. No matter what this day or any day brings, I know I have a refuge, I know my help comes from the Lord. I will trust. And hope He sets that guard over this heart of mine as well as my lips.

Today, I'm going to allow Him to work on my heart. I'll trust Him for the peace that passes understanding that He promised. My heart will continue to lean into Him and wait on Him. And I'll pray like David in this psalm that He accepts my prayer as an incense offered up to Him because I trust in Him. And I will trust Him for one more day. Just for today. Will you join me?

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