Skip to main content

Better Set That Watch!

Today is one of those days. My prayer this morning has been "set a watch over my lips, Oh God!" I'm stressed out beyond belief. My fellow caregivers understand. Everything has piled up and it takes very little to feel like you're falling off the edge into an abyss of emotions and struggling with depression.

I love caregiving for both my son and my aunt, but there are those days when it seems overwhelming and it's not one particular thing you can put your finger on. My humanness shows and my cape is missing. lol

Things pile up. We get tired. We feel lost, cut off from the rest of the world and like no one understands where we are or what we have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

This morning I was praying for the Lord to guard my heart and my lips. I looked up the scripture and found it in Psalm 141:3. The New Living says it this way: Take control of what I say, Lord and keep my lips sealed. I backed up to read the previous two verses. David was calling out to God and spoke my heart. He prayed O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to You for help! Boy, do I feel that one on this day. Lord - please hurry - I need You to come to my rescue!

As you read the rest of this psalm, David is asking God to save him from his enemies. In verse 8 he says, don't let them kill me! David feared for his life and perhaps I cannot relate to that. But I can relate to feeling like my emotional life has been sapped, drained and left for dead.

When I can't feel anymore - I can run to Him. As David said in this psalm, I look to you for help... You are my refuge. No matter what this day or any day brings, I know I have a refuge, I know my help comes from the Lord. I will trust. And hope He sets that guard over this heart of mine as well as my lips.

Today, I'm going to allow Him to work on my heart. I'll trust Him for the peace that passes understanding that He promised. My heart will continue to lean into Him and wait on Him. And I'll pray like David in this psalm that He accepts my prayer as an incense offered up to Him because I trust in Him. And I will trust Him for one more day. Just for today. Will you join me?


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Seasons Are Temporary

  This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t

Seek and Ye Shall Find

 Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to strategize ways of dealing with stress. It's something we all deal with, especially caregivers. I'm walking and exercising more, which helps the body get rid of stress and it helps improve sleep to some degree. But I've also been working on training my thoughts. I've been working on purposefully finding things to be thankful for. At first, it was a bit difficult because let's face it, caregiving is hard work.  This morning, I was plugging Chris into a nebulizer for a breathing treatment as he had an asthma attack yesterday afternoon after we'd been out for a little bit. As I was doing his treatment and his tube feeding, I didn't even really think about it; this "thought" just rolled up out of me. I thought, thank you, Lord, for carrying us through the long night. My own thankfulness surprised me! Lol. I realized at that moment that it's getting easier and easier to be thankful, even for the litt