When I got to my room, I stood and looked at my bookcase. It is special for a few reasons. First, it was my grandfather's bookcase and used to house all of his Bible study aids and books. Secondly, it holds my book collection. Most of them are from generals in the kingdom of God - most of which have gone on to their reward. I stopped and looked at the section that contains books from the years I studied the revivals. My thoughts ran around for a while from revival to revival I studied back in the day. Those were BC days (before caregiving). I took a deep look inside myself and asked if my quest for revival and thirst for Him stopped at caregiving.
Immediately, I felt my heart soften as my soul cried out for Him again. Relief overtook me as I realized nothing about my quest was lost on the caregiving journey. I've said so many times that nothing He promised included exclusionary statements about caregivers. Our pursuit of Him is only contingent upon our persistence. He is readily available and all His promises are still yea and amen.
Just stopping to realize that He didn't change His mind about a thing when I became a caregiver renewed my strength. It's stirred up that thirst for Him. Caregivers are thirsty too. We don't need His presence any more or less than the rest of the outside-the-cave world. Jesus is still calling Come to me you who are weary, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28) The words of the prophet in Isaiah 40:31 still holds true - Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength....
I have to think then, that if I am not having my strength renewed... It's not His fault - Maybe, just maybe, I'm not waiting. Caregivers tend to be go-getters and often far surpass our true capabilities because things have to be done regardless of how we feel, whether or not we are already too tired, and whether there is help or not. We often have to live in roll-up-your-sleeves mode and forget to wait on Him. But His promises still hold true -He still empowers those who wait on Him.... let's not forget to wait.
Today, I am going to make it my goal to remember His promises - I'm even going to make a list. I'll meditate on what it means to wait on Him. My efforts will be to get out of I-can-do-it-all mode and wait for Him - give Him space to work in my life and on my behalf. I'll trust Him with this day - in the waiting. Will you join me?