Wednesday, December 26, 2018

The Quiet Days

I dislike Hallmark movies. They paint a picture of romance and freedom that are very foreign to me and my life. The unreal depiction of life and false hopes of everything working out alright is what I really cannot handle. Everything doesn't always work out alright. Every storm is not temporary, especially for caregivers. Long days turn into long weeks and longer months that eventually bring us back around to the holidays. But it's certainly not picture-perfect.

Take, for instance, this picture of my mom and aunt. It's so cute!! My mom is 78 and her sister is 86. I snagged this photo when they were greeting each other. What you don't see behind the cute picture is that my aunt could barely stand - I actually had one hand on her and one on the phone. She was so stooped they had a difficult time even hugging one another. However, they were so excited to see each other as they are living in two facilities in two different towns. We honestly do not know if they will get to be together again on this side of eternity. So, even though it was a light moment and we enjoyed seeing their joyful reunion, it was shaded with the sad thoughts in my heart about the future.

It was good to be with all my siblings and there was much laughter, joking, and kidding among us as well as some catching up. But the ride home is always a solemn one for me and leads to quiet days for the most part as the real-life part of full-time caregiving for my son and long-distance caregiving for my aunt kick in.

This leads me to try and gather myself for a few days. I'm trying to re-establish the habit of reading and journaling as I tend to let it go with the full days. It really does help -most of the time! :-) This morning I found myself reading in Nehemiah. That's appropriate since I'm in a rebuilding phase in my own spiritual walk. I landed in verse 46 of chapter 12.

The custom of having choir directors to lead in choirs and hymns of praise and thanks to God began long ago in the days of David and Asaph. For some reason, that verse grabbed my attention and I began to think about David and Asaph - two worshipers who didn't have "picture-perfect" lives either. My thoughts ran to David who at one point had to encourage himself in the Lord. He often reminded himself to return to that point of worship - in the quiet days - the cave days - the days of hiding from Saul's pursuit.

Today, I will encourage myself in the Lord. I'll remind myself of the things I have seen Him do - and I'll be thankful for that whether or not I see Him working in my today. I'll turn my thoughts to His peace, His care, and His love - all of which never change. And I'll thank Him for this quiet day - and trust Him to get me through it to one more tomorrow. Will you join me?

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