I look at my caregiver's life. I think about my random, sometimes angry or frustrated thoughts. But it really comes down to bringing Him glory. Am I living life (as abnormal as it may be) in a way that glorifies Him? This my ultimate goal.
As I was pondering these things this morning, I thought of a familiar, maybe a little too used scripture about Jabez. Books have been written from the one mention he gets in scripture. But that verse was on my mind during my prayers this morning. It says ....his mother named him Jabez saying, Because I bore him with pain. Now Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, Oh that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my border, and that Your right hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from harm that it may not pain me. And God granted him what he requested. (1 Chronicles 4:9)
His name means, he makes sorrowful. What a name, huh? How would you like it if everyone thought of sadness, sorrow, and pain each time your name was called? No one wants to carry that. Yet sometimes I feel like my story is a sad one. That's one reason for the social isolation so many caregivers experience. Our stories make people sad and they don't know what to do with those emotions so they avoid. That leaves us stranded relationship-wise as well as emotionally. And that's where I am, and why I'm thinking along these lines.
These thoughts turned me to pray that my life, broken though it may be, would somehow bring glory to Him. The psalmist said in Psalm 89:17 You are their glorious strength. It pleases You to make us strong. May it please Him to make us strong today! In Psalm 104:31, the psalmist says, May the glory of the Lord continue forever! The Lord takes pleasure in all He has made! Again, my prayer is that He will take pleasure in His creation - in me.
I'm thinking that one thing that brings Him glory, that He takes pleasure in - is consistent trust in who He is. I think when He looks at us in a life that feels like we are constantly rowing against the tide, He is pleased that we are still rowing toward His heart. I think that brings Him glory - no matter how strong the storms we fight against.
Today, I'm just going to do what I've been doing, trust Him. No matter how easy - or how difficult today is I can still trust that I haven't fallen out of His hand or His heart. It may be that He pulls us a little closer to His heart as we trust in adverse conditions. I like to think that anyway. My thoughts will be on what pleases Him - and I'll keep my trust and confidence in His strength not my own. I'll trust Him for one more day - will you join me?