Monday, February 18, 2019

When In Doubt

This week I saw and retweeted a tweet from John Piper. The tweet contained the scripture from Matthew 14:30-31. Beginning to sink Peter cried out, Lord save me! Jesus immediately reached out His hand and took hold of him saying to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt? John Piper then added this note: this saving hand went out to doubt, not faith. Thus He keeps His own.

I think I retweeted it because it really touched my heart. There is a sect of the religious world that try to make us feel like we have no faith if we don't see our loved ones healed. Early on this was a real struggle for me and I battled with some things I'd been taught about faith and my situation. At one point I thought I was doomed. But once I was able to redefine faith - I found it to be what would carry me through the years of caregiving.

In this verse, Jesus didn't reach out to the "faith-filled" Peter. He reached out for him in his weakest, most faithless moment and even asked him why he had doubted. But He didn't abandon Peter for doubting. He didn't say, sorry, I can't help you because you doubted. He saw Peter starting to sink and He reached out his hand.

As caregivers we have good days and bad days. There are a few days when I feel like I'm starting to sink into fear, doubt, uncertainty, or frustrations. As positive as I try to be I still have those times when I start sinking into negativity. There are literally tons of thing each and every day that reach for us and try to drag us into the abyss of depression, sense of loss, and grief. It can be the simplest thing- like yesterday I saw a Facebook post of one of my son's friends who had their first baby. I was happy for them, but I cried. Depression and grief started clawing and pulling on me. Anything can trigger a sinkhole anywhere. I wonder if it's similar to the one Peter found while walking on the water.

As John Piper pointed out, He keeps His own. He keeps us in all our moments both the high ones and the low ones. He doesn't wash His hands, walk away and let us sink. He always meets us where we are whether we are jumping out of the boat to walk on water or being swept away in the current of caregiving. His hand is extended to us.

Today, when I am in doubt, I will recall this story. It will be my meditation today as I consider how Jesus had no condemnation for Peter, just an extended hand. I don't know about you, but I need His hand today. So I will purposefully turn my heart to reach for Him. I'll trust Him for today and remind myself that I am His. Will you join me?

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