The Downward Spiral

I'm not sure what I'm dealing with more today - aloneness or grief. Some days I can shuck my emotions down to one or the other. Other days it just seems to suck me into a downward spiral that can be difficult to recover from.

This week is Chris' birthday. He'll be 35. I get stuck wondering where he might have gone, what he'd be doing IF. The if's are a time and emotion sucker because they really are meaningless. I can't change what could have or would have happened. I can only deal with what is on my plate today.

Jesus mentioned that in Matthew 6:34. He said, do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Caregivers can get sucked into the downward spiral by measuring and comparing everyone else's life with their own. The caregiver's fog can overtake us when we don't stay focused on the present. Or even if we get too lost in the present.

Taking a good look in His word or spending some time in worship can help me change my focus off the nasty now-and-now and help me remember that He is forever. He is faithful. He is present. I go to verses like Psalm 46:1 - and remind myself that He is a present help in time of trouble.

Today, I'll try to stay away from social media as much as possible while I remind myself that I'm still His. He is still carrying me because I cannot walk on my own. I'll trust Him to rescue me from the emotional downward spiral as I place my focus on what He has done rather than what I see right in front of me. I'll trust that He still has my heart in His hand and I'll trust Him just for today - will you join me?